NFL

NFL F-U Power Rankings: Week 8

10/24/13 in NFL   |   marcus_nyce   |   27102 respect

MemeAll persons, places and things middle finger related in the form of an indiscriminate list without any set number of entries, on a weekly, biweekly or monthly basis. Who knows? Middle fingers are completely organic and unpredictable.

As promised, per our “F-U DIRECTOR OF STATS AND INFORMATION” Eric_, here are the current FUCS (F-U Championship Series) point totals to date:
1. Roger Goodell - 46
2. God - 14
3. Bill Belichick/Ray Lewis/Tom Brady - 10
6. Tampa Bay Bucs - 10 (They lose the tiebreaker because the other three have "wins")
7. Sean Payton/Philadelphia Eagles/Sal Paolantonio - 6
10. Dan Snyder - 5
(So far, 25 people and entities have earned points so far. Some surprises of those "not classified" to date: Jerry Jones, Greg Schiano, Cam Newton, Peter King, Gregg Easterbrook, Mike Florio [the media's top dip*bleep* trio], Richard Sherman, the Raiders…)
 
There may have been some more prominent or blatant middle fingers this week, but the top of the list crossed a line. **Third person alert!**
 
#1 Greg Schiano: Things your boys Nyce and Trick Daddy have an affinity for: Sugar water, mayonnaise sandwiches and, most importantly, we love the kids. Last week while putting the final touches on his “Mein Training Kampf” book and planning the invasion of Poland, das Führer had one of his Gregstapo throw a bunch of kids out of a Bucs practice because EFF YOU, THAT’S WHY! This season ends with Schiano taking his own life deep inside his bunker under Tampa Bay’s practice facility. Bank it.
 
#2 Steve Smith: It took nearly a half-season for his “Forget About Dre” F-U moment, but he delivered. The absolute LAST [Riley Cooper slur] you want to get personal with is Steve Smith. Talk trash about his daughters and he becomes Liam Neeson in Taken. He doesn’t know who you are or what you want, but he will look for you, he will find you, and he will punch you in the effing mouth.
 
#3 Marshawn Lynch: Great form. (via friend of the middle finger and our glorious leader, Jess.)
 
#4 Roger Goodell: He handed out a two-game suspension, knowing the Players Association would get it reduced to a single game, because he is who we thought he is. That was like a BYE WEEK for his middle finger. Hashtag Yawn.
 
There is no “I” in F-U, but there is an EFF and a YOU.
 
“Till that day.”
 
 
-5000-
 
 
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10/25/13   |   marcus_nyce   |   27102 respect

Eric_ wrote:
You're lucky I don't have a life, so I'm around to update the standings. Guess what? Goodell gains again because he's the only one showing up every week and scoring points. The top three this week are all new entrants.

I'm not running down the whole top 10, because there aren't many changes. Goodell now has 49 points. Schiano makes it a 4 way tie for 3rd with 10 points, with his employer officially 7th due to losing the tiebreaker. Steve Smith joins the group at 6 points in a tie for 8th. Snyder falls to 12th. Lynch is tied for 13th with the rest of the 4 pointers.

Some others that are surprisingly "not classified" yet (a group that would've included Smith until this week): Monday Night Football, Rex Ryan, Josh Freeman, Chris Berman, the NY media, Geno Smith, the Jets as a whole, Jim Schwartz, Peyton Manning, Michael Vick, Chip Kelly, Brandon Meriweather.

Also, Marcus, is this going through the playoffs and Super Bowl? If not, then we're almost at halfway and have to start going through Goodell clinching scenarios.

Yes to all of that, but don't sleep on Schiano. The F-U is strong in him. I could easily see him getting points, AFTER he gets fired, in a post-mortem, vitriole filled interview. #middlefingerscrossed

10/24/13   |   Eric_   |   7716 respect

You're lucky I don't have a life, so I'm around to update the standings. Guess what? Goodell gains again because he's the only one showing up every week and scoring points. The top three this week are all new entrants.

I'm not running down the whole top 10, because there aren't many changes. Goodell now has 49 points. Schiano makes it a 4 way tie for 3rd with 10 points, with his employer officially 7th due to losing the tiebreaker. Steve Smith joins the group at 6 points in a tie for 8th. Snyder falls to 12th. Lynch is tied for 13th with the rest of the 4 pointers.

Some others that are surprisingly "not classified" yet (a group that would've included Smith until this week): Monday Night Football, Rex Ryan, Josh Freeman, Chris Berman, the NY media, Geno Smith, the Jets as a whole, Jim Schwartz, Peyton Manning, Michael Vick, Chip Kelly, Brandon Meriweather.

Also, Marcus, is this going through the playoffs and Super Bowl? If not, then we're almost at halfway and have to start going through Goodell clinching scenarios.