The NFL Rap Sheet
A few days back I wrote about how preseason football was right around the corner and how it really has nothing to offer except overpriced tickets and zero fan interest. That's the bad news. The good news is that pre-preseason football is already upon us and it is jam-packed with entertaining activity. Who needs a football field or a game when pro football players are involved. These guys are a fun bunch, and they're already in midseason form! Let's take a look.
Dezed and Contused. Seems that rough n' rowdy Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant was practicing his separation moves a little too vigorously with his mom a few days ago. According to his 37-year-old (?) mother, Bryant allegedly hit her in the face with a baseball cap, pulled her hair and shirt, and repeatedly smacked her hands and wrists. These all sound like textbook Cowboys wideout techniques dating back to guys like Drew Pearson and Michael Irvin. Well, all except for the cap-across-the-face maneuver which goes all the way back to the Skipper on Gilligan's Island. In any event, it's not like Angela Bryant is an unimpeachable source. She has a past which includes drug possession and intent to sell, coincidentally, another Cowboys tradition.
The Marshawn Plan. Congratulations to Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch, whose DUI charge became official today. Just like with fat new contracts, with $18 million guaranteed, you're never happy until it all becomes official. Seems that Lynch was seen weaving in and out of traffic on Interstate 880 near Oakland when officers stopped him. It's way too early to talk about a possible suspension, but not too soon for the New Orleans Saints to bring those two cops into camp, as they've been looking for some guys to keep Marshawn Lynch from weaving in and out of their defense since the 2010 playoffs.
Out to Sea? Speaking of Oakland, what's up with Sebastian Janikowski? We're already well into July and the guy is conspicuously absent from the police blotter. Shouldn't someone be sent to check up on him? Would hate to see that ham hock of a leg come washing up in the Frisco Bay.
Justin Time. In a strange way, all of these recent developments have kind of made Jaguar's first round pick Justin Blackmon's June DUI seem like ancient history. That being said, it's never a good thing when the fifth overall pick runs afoul of the law before he has a contract. Advantage Jaguars. (There's something you don't hear every day.) Rookie mistake. The guy has a lot of god-given talents, but being able to consume three times the legal limit of liquid comedy shouldn't be on that resume.
It's still early yet. The Jets have yet to report and we've heard nothing out of Roethlisbergerville in a while. Stay tuned.