"Why the %$&* is there ice all over this basketball court?!"
asks the average American
"It seems the only thing the casual sports fan in America cares about these days is not hockey and so, well, maybe that's just what we'll give them," said commissioner Gary Bettman from a walk-in freezer he claimed was the NHL headquarters.
While the intensity of playoff hockey may be unrivaled, the average sports fan has many other things competing for their attention this time of year, namely the NBA playoffs but also including their local foliage, capri-shorts shopping and the annual transition to gazpacho from some of your hotter soups.
"I've just got no time for hockey," admitted one man wearing a baseball cap, "but not hockey, yeah, I'd watch that."