NHL

NHL, Desperate For Ratings, Considers Not Playing Games At All

5/21/13 in NHL   |   GFortier   |   520 respect

Blog Photo - NHL, Desperate For Ratings, Considers Not Playing Games At All
"Why the %$&* is there ice all over this basketball court?!"
asks the average American

 
Having explored every other avenue and desperate for a ratings boost, the NHL is considering simply not playing the games in hopes of peaking the interest of the average sports fan.

"It seems the only thing the casual sports fan in America cares about these days is not hockey and so, well, maybe that's just what we'll give them," said commissioner Gary Bettman from a walk-in freezer he claimed was the NHL headquarters. 

While the intensity of playoff hockey may be unrivaled, the average sports fan has many other things competing for their attention this time of year, namely the NBA playoffs but also including their local foliage, capri-shorts shopping and the annual transition to gazpacho from some of your hotter soups. 

"I've just got no time for hockey," admitted one man wearing a baseball cap, "but not hockey, yeah, I'd watch that." 

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5/25/13   |   tony9845696494

GFortier wrote:
Really? I'm always happy to accidentally plagiarize The Onion if that's the case. Means I'm doing something right. Would love a link to the article if you can find it because I spent some time going through their archives and wasn't able to do so. 

ML31 might be referring to this article:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/popular-new-directv-package-offers-zero-nhl-games,26472/

5/21/13   |   GFortier   |   520 respect

ML31 wrote:
This sounds like something I read in The Onion some time ago.... 

Really? I'm always happy to accidentally plagiarize The Onion if that's the case. Means I'm doing something right. Would love a link to the article if you can find it because I spent some time going through their archives and wasn't able to do so. 

5/21/13   |   ML31   |   3675 respect

This sounds like something I read in The Onion some time ago....