NHL

NHL players return to work only to find all ice has melted

1/9/13 in NHL   |   GFortier   |   520 respect

 
Blog Photo - NHL players return to work only to find all ice has melted
NHL players cling to the goal as it sinks into the melting ice.
 
The following article, despite being based loosely on non-fiction and bearing a polar resemblance to fact, is truer than you will ever know. Quotes made in this article are conjured out of pure inspiration, while the opinions expressed here are derived from what is both authentic and just.

NHL players, eager to get back to work after a lockout that lasted 113 days, were incredibly dismayed to find their ice rinks had melted almost entirely. While many are quick to blame external factors, such as global warming, the economy, and Taylor Swifts turbulent love life, it would seem that the owners, those most responsible for the upkeep of the NHL, are at fault.

"We were so focused on our own interests, on the money at stake, that we lost sight of what truly makes this game great-- the ice," said absolutely none of the NHL owners. "Our negligence has cost this game greatly," admitted nobody. 

Regardless, the shortened 48-game-season, which is tentatively scheduled to begin on January 19th, could very well prove to be one of the most exciting campaigns in recent history. Although the glaring holes in the ice will most certainly change the way the game is played, the condensed schedule, angrier-than-usual fans, utter lack of preparation on the part of the coaches and players, and the shortage of "pucks," which at this point are available exclusively on eBay at exorbitant prices, will inevitably combine for one of the most compelling seasons in recent history. Also, many people are uncertain as to whether or not the Phoenix Coyotes are still an NHL franchise. 

"It's gonna be exciting," said one optimistic player, who chose to remain anonymous because deep down he was actually really sad. "I believe that our beloved game can absolutely flourish, even soar to new heights, with or without the support of ice." 

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1/12/13   |   commonprosperity1391



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