Northwestern is a good school, after all, it produced Michael Wilbon. Wait, scratch that. It produced Dan Shanoff. Ah, that's better. So naturally I was surprised to hear that the school has suddenly found itself involved in a midget/dwarf wrestling scandal.

Wait, what?

Yes, Northwestern is investigating a fraternity after they hired a group of midget wrestlers to make the WWE look tame by comparison at a recruitment event.

The event was held on Jan. 8 at a Delta Upsilon recruiting session, where a group called the Half Pint Brawlers performed a show during which they simulated sex, jumped off a ladder onto one another and stapled each other in the face, among other acts depicted in photographs and videos e-mailed to the student newspaper. In the videos of the event (which unfortunately I can't find) attendees cheered and chanted, urging the performers to "Hit him with a chair!" and "Do it again!"

You can see some of what the Half-Pint Brawlers have done on tour here (sort of NSFW). John Cena would have no chance against them.

If you're wondering how this is legal, then you obviously don't know much about midget/dwarf wrestling. It's totally cool for midgets and dwarves to staple each other in the face. In fact, it's encouraged. It's illegal, however, to participate in dwarf tossing. But midget tossing is cool, right? Uh, sure. Glad we got that cleared up.

And just so you can sleep easy at night, Puppet the Psycho Dwarf was very chill about everything.
Anyway, the frat may have violated NU's hazing policy, and could be in serious trouble. Which is pretty much every week for most frats, so I wouldn't be too worried if I were them.

And don't let this incident faze you. It's not like Northwestern's been involved in other questionable athletic-related hazing events of late.

Oh, wait. Yes they have.