On Turkey Day, Here's a look at the NFL's biggest turkeys

11/26/09 in NFL   |   WhoDat12   |   2252 respect

First off, Happy Thanksgiving to all of the awesome people on the most awesomest sports site ever (Yes I made up a word)! Second, Happy SAINTSgiving to all my fellow Who Dat Nation Members!  Now that the greetings have been issued, on this day of Turkey, let's take a look at the biggest turkeys of the NFL season so far.

Roger Goodell - Yes, Papa Goodell has been strict on punishing players for their off the field foolishess, but has been overly strict on punishing things done on the field. First off, if you even think about hitting a quarterback late, you'll get flagged for 15 yards. He uses his mental control power to get the refs to throw flags. Second, there are way too many celebration penalties.  These are grown men who get paid millions of dollars to play a GAME.  If they want to dance with their teammates after a touchdown, let them! As long as it isn't anything vulgar or obscene I'm perfectly fine with celebrations. In the words of Chad Ocho Cinco, "If you don't wan't me to celebrate, then stop me from scoring".  Speaking of Ocho Cinco, the fine given to him for his joke was just ridiculous.  

Larry Johnson - The former Kansas City Chief and current Cincinnati Bengal went apes*** on Twitter and punched his ticket out of town. I'm surprised that the Bengals signed him. It seemed like they had stopped sending scouts to correctional facilities, court houses, and bail bonds offices to find new players. Hopefully the Who Deys don't go back to doing that

Eric Mangini - He is proof that just because you work under someone who's great, that doesn't necessarily make you great (or even good in his case). He's managed to do something I didn't even think was possible. He made the Cleveland Browns worse.  His secret starting quarterback, his poor in game decision making, and his overly excessive practicing has all translated into one gigantic suckfest.  It would just be tragic and hilarious irony if they were to get Charlie Weis as their next coach. After all, they to harvest the bittersweet fruit off of Bill Belichick's coaching tree.

Dre' Bly - His Leon Lett-like celebration cost the 49ers a touchdown and the game against the Falcons. Not playing opposite of Champ Bailey has exposed his true inner suckiness.

Raheem Morris - He has fired and/or demoted both of his coordinators so far during his tenure as head coach.  I don't think its the coordinators fault. There isn't much talent on either side of the ball. Their most consistent threat is All-Pro kick returner Clifton Smith.  It's only so much you can do when you're talent deficient. Fortunately for Buccaneers fans, they have eleventy billion dollars in cap room to bring in talent...if they want to play in Tampa.

Brady Quinn/Derek Anderson - Do I really need to explain this one? Didn't think so. Moving on.

JaMarcus Russell - See above.

Dante Wesley - He didn't get punished nearly enough for his uncalled for cheap shot on Clifton Smith.  If you get four games for toking up, which only really does damage to you, shouldn't you get equal or more excessive punishment for intentionally doing something that could have ended a man's career?

Joey Porter - A lot of talking, not a lot of production (20 tackles, 4.5 sacks)

Mark Sanchez - I blame the media in part for this turkey. After three games, he was being touted as the next great quarterback. Some even compared him to Joe Willie Namath. That's probably not a far off comparison (Joe Willie threw 220 picks in his career, Sanchez has thrown 16). His latest performance makes you wonder if Ryan Leaf injected the hot dog he ate with liquid suckiness. That's just my theory.

Rex Ryan - He's gone from promising a Super Bowl, to saying he's not going to "kiss the rings" of King Belichick, to boo-hooing like a baby in front of his players. The first two shows he's got some serious grapes, the last makes you wonder what happened to them.

Buffalo Bills - Why fire Dick Jauron when you fired him? The reality is, he should have been fired at the end of last season. Great job guys!

Oakland Raiders - Your franchise quarterback probably couldn't crack the starting lineup at any of the local high schools, your coach beats the hell out of his assistants and allegedly his ladies, and your owner is insane. But on the bright side, you do have two wins over pretty good football teams. Perhaps there is hope.

Bud Adams - First, he interfered with Jeff Fisher doing his job (just my opinion) and then he celebrated Thanksgiving early by giving a double turkey to the Buffalo Bills fans, after he parted the company of Papa Goodell. Pretty idiotic, considering everybody knows that "Papa don't take no mess".

Whoever makes the NFL schedule - They really should have flex games on Thanksgiving the way they did the Sunday night games.  There is no logical explanation for continuing to trot out the Detroit Lions on Thanksgiving. It results in indigestion, loss of appetite, and in extreme cases, nausea. Tradition schmadition! The madness must be stopped

Did I leave anything out? If I did feel free to add! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

P.S. Whatever happened to the six-legged turkey they used to have on Fox?
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12/2/09   |   Aceraison   |   183 respect

Old Larry Johnson ran for over 100 yards against the stinky Brown with Benson out and Scott a little knicked up.  Looks like a good pick up for the Bengals.

11/27/09   |   Heyhey1970   |   194 respect

After those games, Roger Goodell looked like a turkey again.

11/27/09   |   Drewcifer   |   24 respect

I think it's a good thing the Lions play on Thanksgiving.  Playing the Lions is just like running 7-on-7 drills during Thursday practice before a bye weekend.  Keeps the other team fresh, yet sharp.

11/27/09   |   Chief_aka_James   |   3307 respect

aos035 wrote:
Mangini reported Belicheck for cheating. Are you sure Patriot fans aren't just mad about that?

I don't want to speak for Patriot fans (nor would I ever want to), but I gotta think nearly all Patriots fans are completely over everything that happened with Spygate, it just seems to be fans of other teams in the NFL that refuse to get over it.

11/27/09   |   aos035   |   68 respect

Mangini reported Belicheck for cheating. Are you sure Patriot fans aren't just mad about that?

11/26/09   |   gdmjrcr   |   345 respect

Let's leave the lions alone, who ever plays them on thanksgiving desevers an easy game, aafter a ruff season, so it is like like playing a Jr. high team.

11/26/09   |   HolyRollin   |   204 respect

 "awesomest sports site ever (Yes I made up a word)!"

No you didn't, you stole it from my Rankings system! I'm crying foul, here. 

11/26/09   |   kramer   |   11004 respect

woody050681 wrote:
I think Charlie... Oh never mind I was going to make a Charlie is fat joke, but I ate way too much myself so I'll cut him some slack this time..

I'm sure Fatso still has about 200 pounds on you though no matter how much you ate.

11/26/09   |   woody050681   |   13689 respect


I submit for approval:

Plaxico Burress and The Giants: Quite possibly the stupidest move made this year. Giving this idiot another contract, and allowing him to continue, even after he no shows for practices, team meetings, gets fined, etc, etc. ( Oh and plays like crap when he does play)

Jerry Jones:
The inception of his gigantic punt and view blocking megatron

and I know this is NFL but I have 2 for NCAA:

BCS: For once again depriving our nation of a true Playoff..how you like it now with Cincy and Boise in the mix?

Charlie Weiss: He was a turkey at the start of the year, jusy seems fitting he should be in this Turkey thread today!

I think Charlie... Oh never mind I was going to make a Charlie is fat joke, but I ate way too much myself so I'll cut him some slack this time..

11/26/09   |   kramer   |   11004 respect

The 6-legged turkey was John Madden's doing.