I got this in an email the other day and it gave me a giggle. Those of you with pets can probably share in my amusement - some may not apply (my dogs aren't allowed on the furniture), but some gave me a belly laugh because they're so true. I've included pics of my babies. Enjoy.The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door:
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR, and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children





12/23/09 | mryrosie | 37 respect
and that is why a four-legged animal is superior to you, they can do SO much more lol
12/23/09 | HouTxFan | 4115 respect
Ahhh...the highly intelligent, fun-loving companion animal...the Lager Retriever.
12/23/09 | santa101xmas | 225 respect
You know it! These animals are my best friends, if the wife would let me I probably have more.
12/22/09 | HouTxFan | 4115 respect
So...just curious...do you let yourself get on the furniture?
12/22/09 | HouTxFan | 4115 respect
My "kids" run the house, but they are very friendly and don't mind if company wants to sit on the couch with them. For guests who are not as sociable as my dogs, I have wooden rocking chairs, which the dogs don't find very comfortable.
12/22/09 | mryrosie | 37 respect
but bet ya wouldn't get rid of any of them, right? what we do for are beloved pets.........awwwwww
12/22/09 | mryrosie | 37 respect
you don't know what you're missing 18packabs..........too bad
12/22/09 | santa101xmas | 225 respect
Well I hate to admit it but 2 70lb dogs, a 25lb dog sleep between us and at our feet. The 2 cats sleep obove our heads on our pillows. If you get up in the night for a potty break your spot is gone.
12/2/09 | mryrosie | 37 respect
love all kinds of 4 legged animals my friend................also flowers, so the point of your reply is beyond me
12/2/09 | mryrosie | 37 respect
YOU LEAVE THEM OUTSIDE WHEN GONE??? no, no, no..............however, cats shed more than dogs, but viva la difference
12/2/09 | lfycoco2003
I don't put them up when we have company though. They're pretty well behaved and docile (as you can see from the pic lol), and people who visit us know we have animals and love them.
my pet are not allow to sleep on my sofa in my living room.
12/2/09 | avkumar812
Why u like dogs, why cant u love cat or flowers of glooming in the garden.
11/30/09 | mryrosie | 37 respect
LOVED THIS............I PREFER ANIMALS OVER HUMANS ANY DAY...............thank you for passing that e-mail on
11/30/09 | noti4 | 1526 respect
my two dogs sleep one in my bed, the other in the floor, at my side , the cats one in the sofa, other in a little bed, the other in the living, and the other i dont now, Cash is like Indiana Jones.- all have his place confortable , look
11/30/09 | kobe_lova | 51908 respect
I don't put them up when we have company though. They're pretty well behaved and docile (as you can see from the pic lol), and people who visit us know we have animals and love them.
oh they try. If I come home or even go to the rest room, I come back and my dog Is laying across my leather sofa in the living room (we dont even sit on it) refusing to get down, so i have to go over and drag his big butt off hoping he doesnt stratch or rip it. Now he cant be in the house at all unsupervised since he doesnt know how to act.
11/30/09 |
Jess
|
28004 respect
lol I totally agree - my cat gets on the furniture of course (I adopted him from a shelter and it's almost impossible to train a cat...thank goodness he isn't a counter or table cat). But, my dogs are NOT allowed on the furniture or to sleep with me. I don't know if they'd try it when I'm not home or not, but I always leave them outside when I go somewhere or board them if I'm going to be gone too long.
I don't put them up when we have company though. They're pretty well behaved and docile (as you can see from the pic lol), and people who visit us know we have animals and love them.
11/30/09 | kobe_lova | 51908 respect
that was really cute. But if you have hairy pets that are allowed to chill on the furniture with your guests, all i ask is that you let me know in advance because I probably won't come over. I have had several dogs but I usually put them up when I have company .and whether I am home or not, they are not allowed on the furniture or in my bed at all. i love them but they do shed and lick butts and other things and do not bathe everyday.