Locker Room

Pet Notice

11/30/09 in Locker Room   |   Jess   |   34631 respect

I got this in an email the other day and it gave me a giggle. Those of you with pets can probably share in my amusement - some may not apply (my dogs aren't allowed on the furniture), but some gave me a belly laugh because they're so true. I've included pics of my babies. Enjoy.

The  following was found posted very low on a refrigerator  door:

Dear  Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and  contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.  Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not  stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find  that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway  was not designed by NASCAR, and is not a racetrack. Racing me to  the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything  bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not  think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your  comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball  when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to  each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also  know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging  out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but  sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the  bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get  the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to  turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to  open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline  attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing  is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I  cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear  pets, I have posted the following message on the front  door:
TO ALL NON-PET  OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR  PETS:
(1)  They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their  hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they  call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better  than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To  me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on  all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are  better than kids because they:
(1)    eat  less,
(2)    don't ask for money all the  time,
(3)    are easier to  train,
(4)    normally come when  called,
(5)    never ask to drive the  car,
(6)    don't hang out with drug-using  people;
(7)    don't smoke or  drink,
(8)    don't want to wear your  clothes,
(9)    don't have to buy the latest  fashions,
(10)   don't need a gazillion dollars for  college and
(11)   if they get pregnant, you can sell  their  children
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12/23/09   |   mryrosie   |   37 respect

wrote:
I can fetch a beer and lay all over a couch.......

and that is why a four-legged animal is superior to you, they can do SO much more lol

12/23/09   |   HouTxFan   |   5118 respect

wrote:
I can fetch a beer and lay all over a couch.......

Ahhh...the highly intelligent, fun-loving companion animal...the Lager Retriever.

12/23/09   |   santa101xmas   |   225 respect

mryrosie wrote:
but bet ya wouldn't get rid of any of them, right?  what we do for are beloved pets.........awwwwww

You know it!  These animals are my best friends, if the wife would let me I probably have more.

12/22/09   |   HouTxFan   |   5118 respect

wrote:
I have an ANIMAL......ME.......

So...just curious...do you let yourself get on the furniture? 

12/22/09   |   HouTxFan   |   5118 respect

kobe_lova wrote:
that was really cute. But if you have hairy pets that are allowed to chill on the furniture with your guests, all i ask is that you let me know in advance because I probably won't come over. I have had several dogs but I usually put them up when I have company .and whether I am home or not, they are not allowed on the furniture or in my bed at all. i love them but they do shed and lick butts and other things and do not bathe everyday.

My "kids" run the house, but they are very friendly and don't mind if company wants to sit on the couch with them.  For guests who are not as sociable as my dogs, I have wooden rocking chairs, which the dogs don't find very comfortable. 

12/22/09   |   mryrosie   |   37 respect

santa101xmas wrote:
Well I hate to admit it but 2  70lb dogs, a 25lb dog sleep between us and at our feet. The 2 cats sleep obove our heads on our pillows. If you get up in the night for a potty break your spot is gone.

but bet ya wouldn't get rid of any of them, right?  what we do for are beloved pets.........awwwwww

12/22/09   |   mryrosie   |   37 respect

wrote:
Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking ANIMALS.........

you don't know what you're missing 18packabs..........too bad

12/22/09   |   santa101xmas   |   225 respect

Well I hate to admit it but 2  70lb dogs, a 25lb dog sleep between us and at our feet. The 2 cats sleep obove our heads on our pillows. If you get up in the night for a potty break your spot is gone.

12/2/09   |   mryrosie   |   37 respect

avkumar812 wrote:
Why u like dogs, why cant u love cat or flowers of glooming in the garden.

love all kinds of 4 legged animals my friend................also flowers, so the point of your reply is beyond me

12/2/09   |   mryrosie   |   37 respect

lfycoco2003 wrote:
my pet are not allow to sleep on my sofa in my living room.

YOU LEAVE THEM OUTSIDE WHEN GONE??? no, no, no..............however, cats shed more than dogs, but viva la difference

12/2/09   |   lfycoco2003

Jess wrote:
lol I totally agree - my cat gets on the furniture of course (I adopted him from a shelter and it's almost impossible to train a cat...thank goodness he isn't a counter or table cat). But, my dogs are NOT allowed on the furniture or to sleep with me. I don't know if they'd try it when I'm not home or not, but I always leave them outside when I go somewhere or board them if I'm going to be gone too long.

I don't put them up when we have company though. They're pretty well behaved and docile (as you can see from the pic lol), and people who visit us know we have animals and love them.

my pet are not allow to sleep on my sofa in my living room.

12/2/09   |   avkumar812

noti4 wrote:
my two dogs sleep one in my bed, the other in the floor, at my side , the cats one in the sofa, other in a little bed, the other in the living, and the other i dont now, Cash is like Indiana Jones.- all have his place confortable , look

Why u like dogs, why cant u love cat or flowers of glooming in the garden.

11/30/09   |   mryrosie   |   37 respect

LOVED THIS............I PREFER ANIMALS OVER HUMANS ANY DAY...............thank you for passing that e-mail on

11/30/09   |   noti4   |   1526 respect

(Edited by Raven73)

my two dogs sleep one in my bed, the other in the floor, at my side , the cats one in the sofa, other in a little bed, the other in the living, and the other i dont now, Cash is like Indiana Jones.- all have his place confortable , look

11/30/09   |   kobe_lova   |   61554 respect

Jess wrote:
lol I totally agree - my cat gets on the furniture of course (I adopted him from a shelter and it's almost impossible to train a cat...thank goodness he isn't a counter or table cat). But, my dogs are NOT allowed on the furniture or to sleep with me. I don't know if they'd try it when I'm not home or not, but I always leave them outside when I go somewhere or board them if I'm going to be gone too long.

I don't put them up when we have company though. They're pretty well behaved and docile (as you can see from the pic lol), and people who visit us know we have animals and love them.

oh they try. If I come home or even go to the rest room, I come back and my dog Is laying across my leather sofa in the living room (we dont even sit on it) refusing to get down, so i have to go over and drag his big butt off hoping he doesnt stratch or rip it. Now he cant be in the house at all unsupervised since he doesnt know how to act.

11/30/09   |   Jess   |   34631 respect

kobe_lova wrote:
that was really cute. But if you have hairy pets that are allowed to chill on the furniture with your guests, all i ask is that you let me know in advance because I probably won't come over. I have had several dogs but I usually put them up when I have company .and whether I am home or not, they are not allowed on the furniture or in my bed at all. i love them but they do shed and lick butts and other things and do not bathe everyday.

lol I totally agree - my cat gets on the furniture of course (I adopted him from a shelter and it's almost impossible to train a cat...thank goodness he isn't a counter or table cat). But, my dogs are NOT allowed on the furniture or to sleep with me. I don't know if they'd try it when I'm not home or not, but I always leave them outside when I go somewhere or board them if I'm going to be gone too long.

I don't put them up when we have company though. They're pretty well behaved and docile (as you can see from the pic lol), and people who visit us know we have animals and love them.

11/30/09   |   kobe_lova   |   61554 respect

that was really cute. But if you have hairy pets that are allowed to chill on the furniture with your guests, all i ask is that you let me know in advance because I probably won't come over. I have had several dogs but I usually put them up when I have company .and whether I am home or not, they are not allowed on the furniture or in my bed at all. i love them but they do shed and lick butts and other things and do not bathe everyday.