Report: Jets' Winslow was masturbating when arrested for possession
NFL

A real jerk: Kellen Winslow was reportedly choking the chicken when arrested for weed

1/17/14 in NFL   |   JoeKukura   |   491 respect

Blog Photo - Report: Jets' Winslow was masturbating when arrested for possessionSome wacky details have emerged from Kellen Winslow, Jr.'s November arrest for possession of synthetic marijuana, and may set off mass debates on whether the New York Jets will keep Winslow as their tight end. We already knew that Winslow had been arrested in East Hanover, New Jersey the evening of November 19 for possession of synthetic marijuana. Now that we have our sweaty palms on the police report of the incident, a new and embarassing detail has been tossed off into the mix -- the police were called on Winslow because an eyewitness complained that she had seen Winslow masturbating in his car.

You had better believe there are some hilarious Kellen Winslow jokes on Twitter at the moment. But the funniest item there is not a joke. It is the true fact that Kellen's Winslow's web page is still running the news headline "Winslow, Jr. Flashes Once Again".

Dom Consentino of the New Jersey Star-Ledger unearths the police report of the Winslow arrest, containing the hilarious accusation that Kellen Winslow was masturbating in his car prior to the arrest. Winslow claims via his publicist that he was only changing clothes, though police did observe "two open containers of Vaseline on his center console" of Winslow's vehicle.

Two open containers of Vaseline? Winslow must be seriously well-endowed.

Blog Photo - Report: Jets' Winslow was masturbating when arrested for possessionActually, the police report is funnier than anything I can come up with. "I approached the vehicle and observed the driver, later identified as Kellen Winslow, Jr., slouched down in his seat moving around," the arresting officers write. "Mr. Winslow then moved into an upright position in the seat as I came to the driver's side window."

"I observed Mr Winslow wearking dark colored sweatpants and two open containers on his center console but his genitals were not exposed."
 
The real zinger here is Winslow's explanation to the police at the time. The arresting officer writes that "I asked Mr. Winslow what he was doing and he advised that he was looking for Boston Market."

We'll report more details on this sorry as they develop, unless they develop first thing when I wake up in the morning. If that's the case, I'll probably be busy looking for Boston Market.
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3/6/14   |   CoochiTickler69

That's how I wanna go out!

1/18/14   |   MortonsLaw   |   156 respect

This guy has been a clown since Miami. Anyone remember him saying he's a "f$&@ing soldier" in 2003? We should've put him Iraq to see how tough he really is.

Marijuana aside, as a man, sometimes we just have to rub one out. It's part of life. I don't fault him there.