Rex Ryan conducts entire press conference from within pillow fort

8/26/13 in NFL   |   GFortier   |   520 respect

Blog Photo - Rex Ryan conducts entire press conference from within pillow fort
Rex appearing especially cranky 
after not getting the flavor of Gatorade he had hoped for

 
In the latest installment of Rex Ryan versus the New York media, the embattled head coach conducted his entire press conference hidden within the confines of a pillow fort.

The fort was heavily fortified with all different types of pillow, 'mom's big sheet,' and benefitted from the use of the podium as it's main wall. The national media has deemed the fort 'childish,' but those who witnessed it's construction say it was one of Rex's best forts to this day. 

"I don't have to answer any of your stupid questions while I'm in the fort," Rex called out from within the fort, also adding that the local reporters should just "get a life," "go home," and "eat me." The media was not so easily dismayed, however. 

They asked Rex why he brought Mark Sanchez into the game in the 4th quarter of the Jets Giants preseason game, with little to be gained playing against backups and the risk of injury always looming. When they didn't care for his answer, they asked him again. Then they took turns asking him, followed by a brief period of breathing exercises and reflection, before deciding to ask him all at the same time. By the end of the news conference Rex had receded to the darkest region of his pillow fort. It was clear he was not coming out.

"Rex Ryan will not be leaving the pillow fort until all the meanies go away," the Jets' head coach announced in a statement issued through his sock puppet. Eventually the contentious slumber party came to an end when GM John Idzik sent the media away and ordered that the pillow fort be taken down.

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