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7/30/08
Shawn Kemp Offered Contract With Italian Club Premiata Montegranaro
Shawn Kemp Will Hopefully Bring His Baby-Makin' Skills To Italy
The last time Shawn Kemp was even relevant was, man, I can't even remember. He last played in the NBA during the '02-'03 season with the Orlando Magic, but he was far too busy stuffing himself with Krispy Kremes at that point in time. Before that, he was with the Trailblazers, but he sucked there too. You pretty much have to go all the way back to his Cavs days, nearly a decade ago, to recall when he was actually good.

Why am I bringing this up? Because the Italian team Premiata Montegranaro has reportedly made an offer to the 40-year-old Kemp to come and play for them. Unless you speak Italian, that link is really of no use to you. But trust me and Ball Don't Lie, the Reignman has an offer to play. Kemp is apparently back in playing shape and ready to roll.

And frankly, I couldn't be happier. Kemp is a personal favorite of mine. That was mainly because of his awesome dunking ability, but it's also because Kemp seemingly has never heard of birth control.

As of 1998, Kemp had fathered 7 illegitimate kids. Considering we're a decade past that point, and there are plenty of rumors that the number has increased, he's probably at least somewhere at Travis Henry's level (9 illegitimate kids).

I don't think I need to tell you this, but Italian women are kind of attractive, so Kemp might be in danger of setting an all-time athlete record if he goes to Italy. The current record, as far as I know, is NBA Hall of Famer Calvin "Pocket Rocket" Murphy, who had 14 illegitimate kids by 9 women. And yes, Pocket Rocket was his real nickname.

But anyway, since Kemp is the main focus of this post, I want to pass along this great little story about him that was once passed on to me by a reader.
In college I was an intern for the Portland Trailblazers (mind you, this was during their Jailblazers heyday while Shawn Kemp was there). I did a bunch of stuff for the PR Department and one day I was filing a bunch of stuff in the office and I came across the Player Questionnaires that they have each new player fill out when they are acquired. It gives them some stupid personal info to include in the media guide and for the announcers and what not. Anyway, on Shawn Kemp’s questionnaire under hobbies it said, “girls”. And my personal favorite – under favorite breakfast he listed, “girls”.
Good luck in Europe, Reignman. I just hope Premiata Montegranaro hasn't offered to cover your child support payments. They'd surely go broke.

Has Europe gotten it right for once? [The Sport Count]
6 comments
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340 days ago
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Lock up your Daughters!
 
340 days ago
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This just in: All of Sardinia has been impregnated.
 
340 days ago
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I think the best news for Kemp is that they don't serve donuts in Italy.
 
340 days ago
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100%InjuryRate wrote:
I think the best news for Kemp is that they don't serve donuts in Italy.

Wait till he finds out about canollis.

 
339 days ago
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Yes he is one of your favorites because you are so envious of him, you have never been able to write anything nice about him. Why bother write anythin at all. As far as you are concerned digging up the dirt makes an a** like you feel good, you are one sorrow Sob.

 
335 days ago
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grow up... be happy if a person changed.... don't be a CRAB.... you negative persons....
 
 
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