Sports Halloween Costumes for Kids of All Ages
Halloween is only a week away and you still don’t have a costume for that big party, or worse, for your kids? Don’t panic and, above all, don’t run out to somewhere like Party City to shell out big bucks for something you’ll only end up wearing once. If you follow sports at all you’ll soon realize that there are plenty of hilarious get-ups you can easily assemble at home. Here’s just a sampling of some costumes that will make you the hit of your Boo Bash.
Tim Tebow and Vince Young. It doesn’t get any easier than this. Just suit up in a Tebow or VY jersey, pull out your cell phone, and walk around all night staring at it whining “Why doesn’t it ring? Ring, damn you!” (*Side note to Vince Young: Public desperation is no way to attract either girls or NFL starting quarterback jobs.)
Bud Selig. Looking like the soon-to-be-former MLB commissioner is not as tough as you might think. Simply locate a Crypt Keeper mask (Tales of the Crypt circa early 1990s) and add a pair of aviation-framed eyeglasses to it. Voila! You’re Buddy Boy!
Eli Manning. This one’s fairly simple. All you need is an Eli Manning jersey (helmet and pads optional), a football, and a constant bewildered look on your face. Be sure to bring lots of friends wearing other non-Giants NFL jerseys so you can toss the ball to them all night. Trust me, it will be hilarious. For an added laugh, have one pal suit up as Hakeem Nicks and keep dropping balls thrown to him.
Orange Creamsicle. One pair of orange basketball shorts, one orange headband, and one blinding New York Knicks brand-spanking-new alternative orange uniform and you will look like one of summer’s guilty pleasures in no time.
The Minnesota Vikings Three-Headed Quarterback Monster. Get the biggest XXXL purple shirt or jersey you can find, write the name Poncasselfree on the back, sew up the sleeves so no arms can stick out, squeeze three people into it, and spend most of the night clumsily bumping into people. That’s pretty much the Vikings QB situation in a nutshell.
The New York Rangers. The Blueshirts have currently scored a league-low 12 goals. All you need are five guys with Rangers jerseys, add a pair of those thick gag-glasses that make you look blind for each person, and finish the outfits off by cutting the blades off of five hockey sticks.
Jon Lester. One Red Sox Cap, one baseball glove, and one big jar of Vaseline. Steer clear of Cardinals fans though. This same costume can easily be made Gaylord Perry retro by switching out the Sox cap for Giants, Padres, Rangers, or Mariners.
Craig Sager. Just rifle through any goodwill or Salvation Army drop-off and you should be able to find a suitable wardrobe. Add one TNT microphone, go around asking a bunch of inane questions, and you’re there. There’s versatility in this costume as well, as you can lose the microphone, add a set of golf clubs, and use the same clothes to become Al Czervik from Caddyshack.
Have a great Halloween everyone! And don’t eat any unwrapped candy.