Rugby Union, Dumbass

Testicle Injuries Continue To Be All The Rage

3/31/08 in Rugby Union   |   100%InjuryRate   |   1283 respect


I remember 10 years ago when groin injuries were all the rage, but that time has come and gone, friends. I'm not sure what's going on in sports right now, but testicle-related injuries are definitely the new hotness. We've had Felix Pie go down with his famous "twisted testicle" and there was that crazy Oklahoma fan who nearly castrated a Texas fan in a bar.

Well, there's now a new bizarre incident to add to the list - from Australia! Plus, as an added bonus, we learn a fantastic new term for testicle.

Australian Gold Coast rugby player Josh Graham yesterday claimed he had his testicles grabbed and squeezed by Cronulla captain Paul Gallen during last Saturday night's match between the two teams. Not all that funny, but this quote sure is:

"He grabbed my 'wheels' (testicles) and gave them a bit of squeeze, 100 per cent," Graham told The Courier-Mail."I looked at the ref and said: 'What's doing'.


"He didn't just grab one 'wheel'. He grabbed the whole package and it hurt at the time."

Yes, having your wheels grabbed - I can't even write that without laughing - is never good.

There was an attempt to charge Gallen with something, but the National Rugby League match review committee couldn't find any evidence of, uh, wheel-tampering. Apparently the picture above of Gallen's fist in Graham's crotch wasn't enough evidence. Felix Pie disapproved of the decision.

Gallen was naturally incensed by the attack on him, which makes sense. Until of course you realize that Gallen is facing a ban of up to four matches after he was charged for raking the face of an opponent. And not just raking the face, but raking it in what appeared to be an attempt to reopen stitches the opponent had on his face.

Obviously someone who attempted to reopen stitches on a guy's face during a game would never try and squeeze someone's wheels. Never. Gallen is all class, baby.

And just because I can, here's that famous shot of Vinnie Jones doing some wheel-tampering himself. Felix Pie does not approve.


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2/15/09   |   greg-nab

Someone should go into business producing "wheel" guard for players. They could place an ad for their product like "wheel protection from wheel tampering on the field" or " a damaged wheel results in a damaged relationship. protect those wheels".

2/9/09   |   lucivarm

OH lord i remember when knockin a mans wheels was a part of the game you know a quick graze to put him down. But dear god to clamp down and give the blokes a twist thats not even right.

1/29/09   |   Dream_Machine   |   13287 respect

Pure Comedy!

3/31/08   |   Boski93   |   375 respect

Well I think he needs a talking to from Sexual Harassment Panda. 

3/31/08   |   Jon   |   5 respect

Just remember this the next time a commentator says a player has "great wheels."