Another one bites the dust
With the first overall pick in the 2014 draft, the Houston Texans are in prime position to take a quarterback whose jersey isn't ritualistically burned so often that the team is forced to asked the fans to stop.
Said Texans GM Rick Smtih, "this is a big opportunity. To be able to draft a quarterback whose jersey isn't aflame might be just what this organization needs."
The Texans have a history of rallying their franchise around QBs only to watch them spontaneously combust right before their eyes. Matt Schaub had a few decent years before crashing and burning, while a closer examination of the tapes suggests that David Carr was literally on fire the day he was drafted.
"Here in Houston we try not to make the same mistakes thrice," continued GM Rick Smith. "If their jersey burns, then they will have no business with this organization."
The team will assuredly be scouting top QB prospects such as Teddy Bridgewater, Blake Bortles, and Brett Hundley, looking for any indications of flammability.