"Do we really have to play all 162 games? Come on, just look at our roster." -- An irritable Jim Leyland, in between cigarrettes.
Kansas City Royals
"We got really tired of waiting for our farm to develop, so we sold it for James Shields." -- GM Dayton Moore, while working on his Monster.com profile.
Chicago White Sox
"I'm not really into making guarantees, but I can tell you this-- this team is not going to make the playoffs." -- Ozzie Guillen, who was not asked for his opinion.
"Well, they certainly signed the funniest free agents this offseason in Daisuke Matsuzaka and Jason Giambi." --- Silver Linings Tribe fan.
"We traded our young talent for even younger talent, moving swiftly towards our goal of having a team of very gifted children!" -- Ron Gardenhire, the forever manager of the Twins.
Alright, now I trust everybody is all caught up on the AL Central, on to the West!