The Layman's NFL Season Preview

9/4/13 in NFL   |   Eric_   |   7716 respect

Blog Photo - The Layman's NFL Season PreviewMy relationship with football and the NFL is weird right now. I have significant issues with how the league operates and how autocratic it is. I can't stand how so many NFL reporters carry the league's water. I have concerns regarding concussions. When I think of football fans, I mostly think of loud, obnoxious, racist homophobes (in other words, Pro Football Talk commentators). As a result, I have paid very little attention to football since the Super Bowl ended.

Alas, we have yet to have a comprehensive preview of the upcoming season. Possibly to my detriment, I have volunteered to do so, in quick spurts. Do I have no clue whatsoever? Probably. Read on, then let me have it in the comments.

AFC East
 
New England 11-5
Miami 8-8
Buffalo 5-11
N.Y. Jets 3-13
 
Reasoning: There are rumblings that the Patriots reign atop the AFC East may be over soon given their issues, until you look at the rest of the division… Miami might be a sleeper, as Ryan Tannehill wasn’t that bad given the usual rookie norms. Can Mike Wallace be trusted though?... Buffalo apparently won’t start Jeff Tuel now, but they’re still the Bills…The media will have a lot to do with it, but this year feels like the complete collapse of the Jets, which will allow them to possibly ruin Clowney or Bridgewater.
 
AFC North
 
Pittsburgh 10-6
Cincinnati 10-6
Baltimore 9-7
Cleveland 5-11
 
Reasoning: In theory, with their aging defense and shaky offensive line, the Steelers are on their way day. I know better. They are cockroaches and can’t be declared dead until absolutely sure. They’ll find a way…Also in theory, the Bengals can get out of their 10 wins and lose in the Wild Card game rut, but really now?...The Ravens are dealing with a lot of churn and will likely take a step back from the Super Bowl title. I just hope it doesn’t reopen the Joe Flacco “elite” debate, which is the dumbest NFL debate not involving a religious zealot masquerading as a quarterback…The most exciting thing about the Browns is whether their owner will end up in the clink.
 
AFC South
 
Houston 12-4
Indianapolis 8-8
Tennessee 6-10
Jacksonville 3-13
  Blog Photo - The Layman's NFL Season Preview
Reasoning: Houston a 12 win team? Really? I figure they’re halfway there with this division, and none of it will matter until January…The Colts outperformed their Pythagorean record by over 3 wins last year, going 11-5 despite being outscored, which means hello regression this year…When you think of the Titans, you think 6-10, so why reinvent the wheel?...Make no mistake, 3-13 is what the Jags brass is rooting for, both so they can get rid of Gabbert and so they can move to London faster. Khan is the middle aged male version of Rachel Phelps.
 

AFC West
 
Denver 12-4
Kansas City 7-9
San Diego 6-10
Oakland 2-14
 
Reasoning: Even with the addition of WELKAH, the Broncos aren’t necessary better, nor any less dependent on a one hit away from being done Peyton Manning. Again, the division helps them (and is it just me, or is the whole AFC pretty blah?)…The Chiefs can’t possibly be worse than last year, but those that have them as a sleeper need to remember that this is Andy Reid and Alex Smith here. Slow your roll…The Chargers finally got rid of Norv and AJ Smith but are out of most of the good players now…The Raiders have 40% of their cap room wasted on dead money. Three wins might be too generous.
 
Turn to the next page for the NFC and playoff predictions.
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9/5/13   |   kobe_lova   |   62363 respect

Eric_ wrote:
Funny how you're getting on me for my optimistic predictions. My first run through had the entire league about 15 games below .500. I had to make adjustments so it would come out to 256-256.
(Edited by kobe_lova)

Well, your optimism was directed at the incorrect teams... I mean I get the biased* GB one but, the rest...well, I just hope you're wrong. lol

I enjoyed the read, though.

9/5/13   |   Eric_   |   7716 respect

kobe_lova wrote:
I doubt the Giants have 11 wins. The Skins will have 9. Carolina will NOT finish that high above us or the saints. wth?! Cam is sh*****. Athletic, yes, and sh****. I hope they win 3 games. Tampa will probably win at least 8. Green Bay won't be winning 12 games, 9 is more like it. Who the hell knows out west? And I can't remember anything I just read on the other page about the AFC, but Peyton will be fine, and damn the rest.

Funny how you're getting on me for my optimistic predictions. My first run through had the entire league about 15 games below .500. I had to make adjustments so it would come out to 256-256.

9/5/13   |   kobe_lova   |   62363 respect

Jess wrote:
Leigh and Ma are gonna be ticked.

Oh, I meant damn of the rest of that part of the article. ...cause i couldn't remember, ha. But I can see it now.... The Texans will win 12, jerk!

:)

9/5/13   |   Jess   |   35095 respect

kobe_lova wrote:
I doubt the Giants have 11 wins. The Skins will have 9. Carolina will NOT finish that high above us or the saints. wth?! Cam is sh*****. Athletic, yes, and sh****. I hope they win 3 games. Tampa will probably win at least 8. Green Bay won't be winning 12 games, 9 is more like it. Who the hell knows out west? And I can't remember anything I just read on the other page about the AFC, but Peyton will be fine, and damn the rest.

Leigh and Ma are gonna be ticked.

9/5/13   |   kobe_lova   |   62363 respect

Oh, and excuse me....Go Falcons!

9/5/13   |   kobe_lova   |   62363 respect

I doubt the Giants have 11 wins. The Skins will have 9. Carolina will NOT finish that high above us or the saints. wth?! Cam is sh*****. Athletic, yes, and sh****. I hope they win 3 games. Tampa will probably win at least 8. Green Bay won't be winning 12 games, 9 is more like it. Who the hell knows out west? And I can't remember anything I just read on the other page about the AFC, but Peyton will be fine, and damn the rest.

9/4/13   |   JenX63   |   33167 respect

You are wrong about the NFC East...I won't know until 6 weeks in where the Skins are going, but I know it isn't 2nd place...Go Skins!

9/4/13   |   Jess   |   35095 respect

If San Francisco beats Seattle in the Conference Championship, I will be the one to end up taking Fitzgerald's spot in the psych ward. Any other playoff scenario would be exponentially easier for me to stomach.

Other than that, I have nothing. It's all speculative at this point anyway, whether you've been following since the combine or just started today. Your guess is as good as mine! I'm just glad football is back. GO SEAHAWKS!