This story is literally from the "you can't make this up" files.

You may remember back at the end of October there was a guy in Tempe named Kurt Havelock who wanted to open up a Halloween-themed bar. Havelock applied for a liquor license with the Tempe City Council, but his application was recommended for denial when it was found out that a blog by Havelock stated that the restaurant would be named "Drunkenstein's" and not "The Haunted Castle" which was stated in the application.

There are some uptight people in Tempe, man. Drunkenstein's is only the greatest bar name in history.

Anyway, in the blog he described the place as a restaurant, Halloween bar, Irish coffee house and music/arts venue that would include “ear-piercing death metal solos.”

There's no way this bar would have failed, except the Tempe City Council made sure it did by rejecting the liquor license.

It seems that Havelock was stewing about this for a while and ultimately decided the best way to make his anger heard would be to go on a Super Bowl rampage.

Hardly what you'd expect from a guy listed as a member of the International Order of Horror Professionals who named his interests on an Internet forum as "Finding the strength not to kill myself and take you all with me!"

Havelock wrote an eight-page manifesto detailing his reasons for planning an attack at the Super Bowl and mailed eight copies of the document from a post office in Glendale, according to a federal affidavit. He also had bought an AR-15 rifle from the Scottsdale Gun Club.

By the way, this may also explain why Belichick ran off the field before the game ended.

Luckily, Havelock turned himself in on Sunday night to authorities and nothing happened.

While I'm glad Havelock is locked away, and Eli Manning didn't literally get sniped at, I think the real crime here is that we'll never have a bar named Drunkenstein's.