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You know, it's been a while since the New York Yankees were the New York Yankees. And a large part of that is because George Steinbrenner is obviously much older than he used to be. But as we're beginning to see, it appears that Hank Steinbrenner, having learned from the Master, is quickly becoming the micro-managing jackass that his father once was.But let's see if he's on pace with his father yet, using Sunday's explosion to the New York Times about how Joba Chamberlain isn't starting yet as an example.
Step 1: Throw your manager under the bus in a somewhat subtle, not so subtle way.
“The starting rotation is not what I would have chosen at the beginning of the year, but that is not a big news flash to anyone,” Steinbrenner said.
That's an excellent start, Hank. Make your new manager, whose team is stuck at 10-10, feel like he's already under the gun.Step 2: Attempt to make rational argument in completely irrational way while insulting people in the process. Bonus points for using the term "idiot."
“I want him [Joba] as a starter and so does everyone else, including him, and that is what we are working toward and we need him there now,” Steinbrenner said Sunday by telephone. “There is no question about it, you don’t have a guy with a 100-mile-per-hour fastball and keep him as a setup guy. You just don’t do that. You have to be an idiot to do that.”
Hank succeeds again here with flying colors. Let everyone in the organization who has been gradually preparing Chamberlain for a role in the starting rotation know that they're idiots. Also don't provide any real logic for why he should be rushed into being a starter other than "he throws hard."Step 3: Call out old pitchers who aren't doing well. Make it sound like it's easy to suddenly pitch well.
He also said he thought Mike Mussina, who is 39, “just needs to learn how to pitch like Jamie Moyer,” the Phillies’ 45-year-old starter, suggesting that Mussina shouldn’t try to rely on his diminished fastball to get hitters out.
Of course, all he needs to do is become like a guy who's still pitching at 45 and isn't on steroids. Because there are tons of super old successful pitchers out there who aren't on steroids - like, uh, Moyer and Maddux. And that's it.Step 4: Undermine the confidence of your young starting pitchers.
“I think once Hughes and Kennedy get plenty of starts and get Joba back, and with Wang and Pettitte, we will be fine,” Steinbrenner said.
Well, he's not quite there yet, but I see the future, and it looks bright. And by "bright" I mean "incredibly awful."
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