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7/15/08
Three Things That Will Make MLB All-Star Week Look Really Attractive
Hating The All-Star Week Festivities? Think Again!
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MLB
Over the past week, I've read and heard many opinions about the All-Star Week for baseball.  I've had people tell me it's too boring.  I've read others argue that it's really meaningless.  In all, I think I've heard more people complain about it than ever.  This guy doesn't deserve to be there.  That guy shouldn't be in the starting outfield.  Let Mariano start the game.  Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah.

I agree that the All-Star weekend has some issues.  Honestly, I really liked some of Jayson Stark's ideas on how to tweak the All-Star Game.  There are plenty of big-name players not in attendance this week.  And there were plenty of reasons not to watch the Home Run Derby last night  (cough, cough, Chris Berman, cough, cough).  But in all, I'm all for All-Star Week.  I guess it goes back to my childhood.  The All-Star Game was always a magical thing for me.  I'd drive everyone around me crazy for my insistence on watching the whole game.  I'll always remember watching Fred Lynn hit that grand slam in '83 - right after the announcer said there had never been one hit in an All-Star Game.  I'll never forget the pre-game ceremonies in Boston in '99 and then watching Pedro mow 'em down to start the game.  And I'll always cherish being there in '96 with my Dad.

All that being said, I understand some people will never love the All-Star Game like I do.  But I'm a glass half-full kind of guy.  So if you're really a hater of the All-Star Game, here are three things that will make watching the game tonight much more appealing:

1. You could be in Vegas tonight watching an 80-year old stripper.

Yep, that's right.  An 80-year old stripper.  Tempest Storm has been "doing it classy" for over 50 years on the Vegas strip.  Man, this is wrong on so many levels.  At least she never got hung up with the NBA All-Star Game or Pacman Jones.  No telling where we'd be today if we lost this national treasure.  In case you can't get this image out of your mind, let me leave you with this quote: 

"No, no. I'm not ready to hang up my G-string, yet. I've got too many fans that would be disappointed." 

2. You could be watching a WNBA double-header tonight on ESPN2.

Dude, if this gets your motor running, then you were probably excited about Option #1, too.  I don't totally hate on women's basketball, I just don't watch the professionals.  At all.  I'll probably watch team handball this summer when the USA women are playing.  The WNBA just doesn't do much for me.  I love watching clips of Candace Parker dunking on some poor player, but other than that not so much.  I think most of the country is with me on this one, as that's why it's on ESPN2 and not even ESPN.

3. You could be watching the second part of the Fox "News" interview with Brett Favre.

If you've made it to #3 and you're still hating on the All-Star Game, you're a sick person.  Almost as sick as Brett Favre's publicist.  Honestly, what the heck is Favre thinking?  I can understand wanting to play again, but enough's enough. 

If you can't stomach the All-Star Game, then you should totally watch the Fox "News" Channel all night and then report about it to all of the red-blooded Americans who will be watching the Mid-Summer Classic from Yankee Stadium.  Of course, since Fox is broadcasting the game, I would imagine that there will be plenty of updates on their "News" Channel.
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7/15/08
4
80? Good God that's awful. Thanks for providing only a head shot. MUCH appreciated.

7/15/08
4
80? Good God that's awful. Thanks for providing only a head shot. MUCH appreciated.

7/15/08
1
Oh, so the picture was about the 80 year old Stripper and not Madonna. Well it is an easy mistake to make.

 
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