I'm not sure how many times women (or obese men) have said to themselves, you know what, I could really use a good breast massage. The potential market for this invention seems limited, but whatever. This is the Breast Masseur (hahaha, wait that's horrible) and it does exactly what it says. At least I think it does. Jets coach Eric Mangini has already ordered 5 of them.
Now, I have no idea who invented this, but I'm willing to bet a full paycheck that this gizmo comes from Japan. Every vaguely sexual invention seems to come from there anyway.
By the way, I'm not even going to get into what a male version of this invention would be like. I'll let you tackle that in the comments. Keep it clean, by which I mean "go nuts." Sorry, couldn't resist.
I was going to insert a "hey I heard Charlie Weis has ordered for 12 himself...", but that would be beyond wrong. So very, very wrong. Excuse me, I have to go throw bleach on the keyboard right now.