17.)  I hate every bone in her body but mine

16.)  It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass Out All Day Long

15. )  If  I Can't Be your number one, then Number Two On You

14.)  If  The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know it's Me

13.)  How Can I Miss You  If You Won't Go Away?

12.)  I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know you so well

11.)  I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better

10.)  I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

9.)  I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight

8.)  I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like You're Still Here

7.)  If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd be out of Prison by now

6.) My Wife ran off with my best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him

5.)  She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

4.)  You're the reason our kids are So ugly

3.)  Her Teeth  was Stained but her Heart was pure

2.)  She's looking better after every beer

1.) I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Women but I've Sure Woke Up With a few!