In two weeks the Denver Broncos will play the Jacksonville Jaguars in a game so lopsided that no spread can possibly define the inequality between these two teams. In these unchartered waters, Vegas is considering a number of alternative ways of defining a successful day for the Jaguars:
Jacksonville will cover the spread if:
1. The Jaguars still exist as a franchise after receiving their beating.
2. Somebody on the Jaguars manages to muster up enough heart and courage to deliver a rousing halftime speech.
3. Every single player on the Jaguars defense refrains from asking Peyton Manning for an autograph during the game. Autographs will be signed after the game and in an orderly fashion.
4. By the end of the game the Jaguars no longer have to wear those terrible uniforms for some reason.
5. At any point, Peyton Manning is forced into doing something he doesn't 100% want to do.
On the other hand, Denver will automatically cover the spread if:
The offense is in-sync to such an extent that after scoring upwards of 70 points, the entire team and all fans in attendance break out into a perfectly-choreographed touchdown dance.
It should be a good one.