Australian Football League Star Brendan Fevola Threw A Fake Penis At A Women During "Mad Monday"
Aussie Rules Football

Looks Like Australian Men Pick Up Women Differently Than American Men

9/4/08 in Aussie Rules Football   |   Jubanator14   |   367 respect



In Australia, they take their Football, very seriously. Almost as seriously as we do here in America.

The first Monday after the regular season ends for the Australian Football League is called Mad Monday. It's an odd celebration where the teams that didn't make the playoffs get to go out on the town and basically have a wild and insane party in the streets of Melbourne. Since I know not nearly enough about this I did some research and here is what I found on an AFL blog on what to expect:

You can expect hundreds of large, frustrated and psychologically-damaged men to be roaming the streets in groups. Many will be aggressive and drunk. Owing to their reduced alcohol tolerance, you should expect several to be out of control, with some looking to get into fights. Others may well be drug-affected. If you're lucky, they'll just be on ecstasy or marijuana. The worst-case scenario is an encounter with footballers who have taken crystal meth and cocaine. Disturbingly, we've had reports of attempts by footballers to use so-called "date rape" drugs like rohypnol. Do not accept drinks from players, and do not leave your drink unattended.

Sounds like one rip roaring good time.

Well this past Monday was Mad Monday and one of the leagues stars, Brendan Fevola is in a little bit of controversy over an interesting pick up attempt I guess you could say.

Fevola was out having a booze filled time while wearing a pink nighty and a sexy toy strapped to his waist. Go ahead and reread that last sentence.

Instead of tell you what happened, I will allow a witness who chose to remain nameless tell you what went down:


"Fev had a foot-long dildo hanging out of his pink muu-muu in full public view outside the bar, I saw him hit a couple of girls on the head with it.  It was a bit off-putting."


Now I have tried many pickup lines but I have never thought to throw a fake penis at a women.

Here is yet another reason why Football in America is better than Football in Australia. When Football players in America make it rain, they throw money, when Australian Football players make it rain, they throw fake penises.

AFL star hurls fake penis at women [news.com.au]
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12/11/08   |   bonacci_91   |   27 respect

(Edited by bonacci_91)

It's Mad Monday - anything can happen & no-one really cares much - unless its something very serious. But this is just 1 of many funny/stupid/whatever you call it, moments, this just got captured & posted on the net.
I think Brendan deserves a litte lee-way on this - it's letting your hair down after a long, hard season

9/7/08   |   that_dood1991

MannyStiles wrote:

Let's all agree not to paint a broad stroke with the actions of singular idiots.

Maybe a-holes are a-holes in every culture. But to say a whole league acts a particular way because of the actions of a bad seed or two is quite unfair. Whether a player does a drive by, makes it "rain", slaps women around with a schlong, or punches them with a fist - it's the actions of idiots, not a society. Fair enough?

As for Americans with guns, I will state that guns don't kill people. People kill people. Knives, fire, poison, choking, foreign objects - what have you - murderers don't need guns to murder and murders happen EVERYWHERE on the planet.

As for tapping women on the head with penises and calling it a joke, I "get" Aussie humor to an extent but would you do that to your grandmother and expect her to laugh at it? Maybe I have too much respect for women (or a large enough REAL penis that I don't need to make pecker jokes at parties?)

Anyway - I thoroughly enjoyed this discussion - and I have learned absolutely nothing new about the sport in which this bloke participates... that might be the saddest part of this story posted on a sports website. 

(Edited by that_dood1991)

In regards to your last paragraph, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TA4gmMvye5M This is a 10 minute run down on the rules of Aussie Rules. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiGoqObb0YQ This is some big hits from a few years back showing how tough our players are without protection. Finally the vest highlights of the 2007 season http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRfqgoOE9RU

9/7/08   |   bzparkes

Jubanator14 wrote:
I'll give you guys that I blew the fact that it is football and not soccer, and I fixed that, but the rest of it I stand by.

The stuff in the italics, I got that from an Australian Football League Blog. So if you think I am wrong about what goes down on Mad Monday, then you think a blog dedicated to AFL is wrong too. So what else do you find wrong?

Thanks for reading though.

With respect, I understand what you were getting at with the article, however I see that you've misundersood the blog you sourced this from. The blog you sourced the article from is a satire, completely blowing out of proportion what our AFL players get up to to get a laugh out of its readers. The stuff in that blog most definitely NOT what happens on mad-monday, half the players in the league would get sacked if that sort of stuff actually occurred (Wiki 'Ben Cousins' to get an understanding of drugs in AFL). A few people (including myself) have overreacted a bit but a few of the things you've written yourself don't represent us at all and we do resent that and find it a little offensive. Please research your facts a bit more thoroughly next time.

9/7/08   |   bzparkes

MannyStiles wrote:

Let's all agree not to paint a broad stroke with the actions of singular idiots.

Maybe a-holes are a-holes in every culture. But to say a whole league acts a particular way because of the actions of a bad seed or two is quite unfair. Whether a player does a drive by, makes it "rain", slaps women around with a schlong, or punches them with a fist - it's the actions of idiots, not a society. Fair enough?

As for Americans with guns, I will state that guns don't kill people. People kill people. Knives, fire, poison, choking, foreign objects - what have you - murderers don't need guns to murder and murders happen EVERYWHERE on the planet.

As for tapping women on the head with penises and calling it a joke, I "get" Aussie humor to an extent but would you do that to your grandmother and expect her to laugh at it? Maybe I have too much respect for women (or a large enough REAL penis that I don't need to make pecker jokes at parties?)

Anyway - I thoroughly enjoyed this discussion - and I have learned absolutely nothing new about the sport in which this bloke participates... that might be the saddest part of this story posted on a sports website. 

(Edited by bzparkes)

Which is entirely the point I'm getting at. You say "guns don't kill people, people kill people". That's fair enough, I agree with that. But for the author to seemingly take the moral high-ground against our code is ridiculous and somewhat alarming in his ignorance. He is unfairly portraying our sport, whilst putting the NFL up on a pedastal where it doesn't deserve to be.

Tapping women on the head with a Dildo is hardly newsworthy, I mean seriously. Tapping a few women on the head and getting a few laughs, probably out of them too, is a lot different than tapping your grandmother on the head with one, and for all anyone knows, a lot of grandmothers may even laugh themselves. Fev is well known, especially in Melbourne. As previously stated, if the women in question were offended, there'd be much more to come out of this than a puff-piece on mad monday.

Tapping women on the head doesn't make Fev an idiot, but we already know he's one of those...

9/7/08   |   MannyStiles

Let's all agree not to paint a broad stroke with the actions of singular idiots.

Maybe a-holes are a-holes in every culture. But to say a whole league acts a particular way because of the actions of a bad seed or two is quite unfair. Whether a player does a drive by, makes it "rain", slaps women around with a schlong, or punches them with a fist - it's the actions of idiots, not a society. Fair enough?

As for Americans with guns, I will state that guns don't kill people. People kill people. Knives, fire, poison, choking, foreign objects - what have you - murderers don't need guns to murder and murders happen EVERYWHERE on the planet.

As for tapping women on the head with penises and calling it a joke, I "get" Aussie humor to an extent but would you do that to your grandmother and expect her to laugh at it? Maybe I have too much respect for women (or a large enough REAL penis that I don't need to make pecker jokes at parties?)

Anyway - I thoroughly enjoyed this discussion - and I have learned absolutely nothing new about the sport in which this bloke participates... that might be the saddest part of this story posted on a sports website. 

9/7/08   |   that_dood1991

MannyStiles wrote:
Ridiculous or not, the point was it's an athlete whacking chicks with a dildo... Australia, U.S.. Timbuktu or the Moon... that's an odd story and very well worth criticism and sarcasm. That's what the internet is ALL about.

I don't know how you can blow that off and turn it around like it's an attack of Australians. The guy was smacking women with a fake penis!!! How is this acceptable anywhere?

You are right in a sense. Yes it is an odd thing to do and deserves a mention.

BUT the way he says that Australian Footballers are cyrstal meth taking, dope smoking people who can't handle alcohol is plain derogatory to every part of the Australian society.

And the last paragraph about how American Football is better becaus you guys "make it rain", just topped it off.

And to anyone thinking I'm having a go at Americans is wrong. I'm having a go at the author of this blog. He is a half-wit.

9/6/08   |   bzparkes

MannyStiles wrote:
Ridiculous or not, the point was it's an athlete whacking chicks with a dildo... Australia, U.S.. Timbuktu or the Moon... that's an odd story and very well worth criticism and sarcasm. That's what the internet is ALL about.

I don't know how you can blow that off and turn it around like it's an attack of Australians. The guy was smacking women with a fake penis!!! How is this acceptable anywhere?
(Edited by bzparkes)

I have no problem with people expressing their opinion with wit and sarcasm, however the original article written that this particular piece is sourced from is actually from a satiric website that pokes fun at AFL players. The author of this particular piece seems to have failed to grasp that and either taken it very seriously, or has been sorely mistaken and has written a satiric piece themselves. Doesn't seem that way though.

As for tapping women on the head with a Dildo... You've obviously never been to Australia and don't seem to grasp our sense of humour. It may seem crass to you but I'm sure the women wouldn't have minded, else there would've been a 4 page spead in every major newspaper about it. Noone cares because it's hardly anything important. NFL players seem to be caught up in shootouts, drug dealing, dog-fights, assaults, drug-taking, etc, all the time yet the author of this has tried claiming the moral high-ground by stating that when NFL players make it rain, they throw money, yet AFL players make it rain penises? Come on, the author is pathetically mis-informed if this is his actual opinion. AT least get your facts straight.

When NFL players make it rain, they make it rain bullets, not money. If the worst thing to come out of our AFL's 'mad-monday' is that Fev was walking around with a fake penis, then I'll take that over anything the NFL dish up any day of the week.

9/6/08   |   MannyStiles

bzparkes wrote:
Lol, ridiculous article. For one thing, you commented on our 'reduced alcohol tolerance'. Seriously, you're the guys who palm off light beer as full-strength. Come on, that's just ridiculous...

Secondly (and on a serious note), the AFL actually has the strictest recreational drug testing of ANY recreational sport, including being the only professional League in the entire WORLD that tests our players out of competition. Also, when was the last time an AFL player actually went to gaol for anything? Seriously mate, get your facts right before claiming the moral high ground. It wasn't partcularly funny, just plain ignorant. I don't know how anyone could've taken you seriously after you called it Soccer to begin with. May as well have called NFL handball...

Ridiculous or not, the point was it's an athlete whacking chicks with a dildo... Australia, U.S.. Timbuktu or the Moon... that's an odd story and very well worth criticism and sarcasm. That's what the internet is ALL about.

I don't know how you can blow that off and turn it around like it's an attack of Australians. The guy was smacking women with a fake penis!!! How is this acceptable anywhere?

9/6/08   |   bzparkes

Lol, ridiculous article. For one thing, you commented on our 'reduced alcohol tolerance'. Seriously, you're the guys who palm off light beer as full-strength. Come on, that's just ridiculous...

Secondly (and on a serious note), the AFL actually has the strictest recreational drug testing of ANY recreational sport, including being the only professional League in the entire WORLD that tests our players out of competition. Also, when was the last time an AFL player actually went to gaol for anything? Seriously mate, get your facts right before claiming the moral high ground. It wasn't partcularly funny, just plain ignorant. I don't know how anyone could've taken you seriously after you called it Soccer to begin with. May as well have called NFL handball...

9/5/08   |   MannyStiles

Jubanator14 wrote:
And Rae Carruth reference. He will be in jail until like 200-forever.

I think it was more a shot at actor OJ Simpson than "football player" Rae Carruth...


Yes we Americans are so arrogant that the rest of the world has to go out of their way to remind us of it... Ignorance is an American charm when it's applied properly - like not taking everything as a personal affront. I think it's pretty damning when the acts of a deluded maniac need to be defended by a society. In America it's quite easy to not defend deluded maniacs for what they are... I don't think Mike Vick - DOG jokes are anywhere relative to a guy whacking HUMANS with a plastic reproductive organ.

Call it apples and oranges - Or with a dildo in the conversation (the fake penis, not the Aussies) it must be arrogance envy?

Yes, no wonder the world HATES us? We can take a joke.

9/5/08   |   danny_n94   |   114 respect

First off I dont care what ANYONE thinks about the USA. I guess if its so bad, quit commenting on a predomantely American blog!

Major Props to you Jub. I thought it was funny, plus you cant tell me the people getting mad at you over this post wouldnt have loved to be part of the love boat cruise.

9/5/08   |   Jubanator14   |   367 respect

Pat wrote:
It's probably because they're upset at the way we all let Mike Vick slide on the whole dogfighting charges.

Wait... what's that? He's in jail? Oh... never mind.

And Rae Carruth reference. He will be in jail until like 200-forever.

9/5/08   |   Pat   |   5232 respect

Jubanator14 wrote:
I thought it was a funny story that would have gone under the radar to most all sports fans. I still don't get why you are so upset? It is all in good fun.

It's probably because they're upset at the way we all let Mike Vick slide on the whole dogfighting charges.

Wait... what's that? He's in jail? Oh... never mind.

9/5/08   |   Jubanator14   |   367 respect

terry_fau wrote:
Haha wow. AFL players wear fake penises on one day of the year. NFL players do drive bys and electricute dogs by the dozen. Go NFL! Stupid gun happy yanks.

I thought it was a funny story that would have gone under the radar to most all sports fans. I still don't get why you are so upset? It is all in good fun.

9/5/08   |   terry_fau

Sorry i forgot about them killing their wives (and getting off), shooting up people in  strip clubs, various assualts against many many many people or even whole team sex orgies (theeee lovvveeee boooatttttttttttttt)......... But thats ok. You yanks can believe what you want.

9/5/08   |   terry_fau

Haha wow. AFL players wear fake penises on one day of the year. NFL players do drive bys and electricute dogs by the dozen. Go NFL! Stupid gun happy yanks.

9/5/08   |   Jubanator14   |   367 respect

I'll give you guys that I blew the fact that it is football and not soccer, and I fixed that, but the rest of it I stand by.

The stuff in the italics, I got that from an Australian Football League Blog. So if you think I am wrong about what goes down on Mad Monday, then you think a blog dedicated to AFL is wrong too. So what else do you find wrong?

Thanks for reading though.

9/5/08   |   TJ_50UTH

There are so many things wrong with this post, I just don't know where to begin?! Fair enough if you want to have a joke, but the ignorance here is astounding.... And Americans wonder why the whole world HATES them!

9/5/08   |   that_dood1991

You are a knob Jubanator. Do you have any idea about what Aussie rules football is. It is not soccer with a round ball for starters. Plus never has an AFL player on Mad Monday done anything like taking crystal meth or being doped up romping around Melbourne.

But I guess you don't care because all Aussies are rednecks who get on the piss every night.

9/5/08   |   swidderick

Nothing like researching your facts buddy.

For starters he plays Australian Rules Football not soccer.

What these guys (Carlton Football Club) did was nothing more than you'd see on your average bucks night.  As for the Dildo the girls were sitting down and he tapped them in the head.  Big Deal.

Yes he's a serial dickhead but nothing more.

Shall we compare him to say Mike Vick or Pacman Jones?

9/5/08   |   bah478

Out of the 700+ AFL players, one has made the news for inappropriate behavior. One player, who may I add, is a repeat offended for such antics. Pretty good odds don't you think?

The majority stick to themselves and are just out to relax after a long and strenuous season. Apart from the occasional slip up, the antics are usually very mild. It could be worse, they could have a fighting dog ring in their backyard. Now that would be terrible, wouldn't it?

9/5/08   |   bah478

9/4/08   |   derms33   |   17642 respect

Why does the guy have a Dildo???

9/4/08   |   100%InjuryRate   |   1283 respect

Jubanator14 wrote:
A real one might be even more off-putting than a fake one

What's everyone all bent out of shape about? This is pretty much a normal day for me.

9/4/08   |   Jubanator14   |   367 respect

MannyStiles wrote:
In all honesty... doesn't it beat throwing a REAL penis at her?

A real one might be even more off-putting than a fake one

9/4/08   |   MannyStiles

In all honesty... doesn't it beat throwing a REAL penis at her?