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I admittedly should have gotten to this story earlier today, but I was too busy making my Bruce Bowen voodoo doll for this evening. The badass mascot of the Chicago Bulls - Benny the Bull - is in trouble yet again. And this time, it's personal! Well, not really, but he's managed to get the Bulls sued.
How so?
Dr. Don Kalant Sr. alleged he was sitting near courtside on Feb. 12 when he raised his arm to get a high-five from Barry Anderson, who portrays the exuberant mascot in a bright red fuzzy costume.Whether Kalant is a complete wuss or not - and we all know he is - the scenario he presents doesn't sound particularly good for the Bulls.
Instead of merely slapping Kalant's palm, Anderson grabbed his arm as he fell forward, hyperextending Kalant's arm and rupturing his biceps muscle, according to the lawsuit filed in Cook County Circuit Court.
But the best thing is that this isn't the first time Benny has gotten himself into trouble. Let's look back at some of Benny's woes.
1. In 2005, Benny, then known as Da Bull, was sentenced to probation for 1½ years for possession of cannabis with intent to deliver. I have no idea if he was in the uniform or not when he was busted, but I'd like to think so.2. In 2006, Benny - in full uniform - was caught riding a mini-motorcycle at an outdoor festival. When an off-duty police officer tried to stop Benny, he ran. Because we all know a mascot is impossible to pick out in a crowd. Then to top it all off, Benny slugged the cop when he was finally tracked down. He was charged with misdemeanor battery and driving within a parkway without a permit.
3. He then got into a brawl on Jerry Springer.
4. And he also shot Kevin Garnett and James Posey in the back with a t-shirt gun. Garnett wasn't too pleased - "We exchanged words." While Posey was a total wuss - "I feel a little sore in one spot. I might have to get treatment."
I'm not sure what's going to happen to Benny, but he appears to be on a slippery slope to becoming a ruthless drug lord - which, now that I think about it, absolutely needs to happen. After all, we need someone who'll knock off Steely McBeam.
[Other takes on Benny's habitual problems: With Leather, Deadspin, Foul Balls]
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