Dirtiest And Most Ridiculous Racehorse Names Ever On The Eve Of The Kentucky Derby

In Honor Of The Kentucky Derby, Here Are The Dirtiest And Most Ridiculous Racehorse Names Ever

5/1/09 in Horse Racing   |   100%InjuryRate   |   1283 respect

This weekend the biggest thing going on is of course Bulls versus Celtics Game 7 the Kentucky Derby. This year's favorite is I Want Revenge, which is a pretty badass name.

The more interesting thing though is that every racehorse name (no more than 18 characters long) has to go through The Jockey Club - based in New York and Kentucky - for approval. Generally speaking they try to reject offensive, suggestive, or obscene names. So if I Want Revenge was instead I Want Your Mom, his name would probably get rejected. But here's the fun thing, they don't always reject every name.

So, in what's becoming a yearly FanIQ tradition, here's a revised and updated look at real racehorse names that were actually signed off by The Jockey Club. So you know, not all of these names below will appear in the current registry, because the registry lists primarily recent names. If you want a full perspective, you'll need to shell out $325 for the complete American Produce Records to see everything the Registry has approved (which I did this year because all bloggers are insanely wealthy). Anyway, most of these names are dirty, while a few others are drug related or just strange. Lord only knows how some of these names were approved.

Let's start with the sexually suggestive racehorse names:

Cum Rocket (1969)
Nut Buster (1942)
Blow Me (1945)
Girls On Top (2004)
Get It On (both 1971 and 1986)
On Your Knees (1977 and 2005)
Spank It (1985)
Go Down (1963), whose sire was Service
Jail Bait (1947 and 1983)
Lagnaf (1978)
Barely Legal (1982 and 1989)
Date More Minors (1998)
Golden Shower (1955)
Pleasure Me (2000)
She Can't Say No (1989)
Cherry Pop (1961 and 1978)
Ménage Á Trois (1974)
She's Easy (1978)
Yes No Yes (2000)
Strip Teaser (1980)
Rhythm Method (1982)
Bodacious Tatas (1985)
OHBEEGEEWHYEN (2001)
Tit'n Your Girdle (1988)
Kinky Lingerie (1991)
Hard Like a Rock (1995)
Sexual Harassment (1997)
X Rated Fantasy (1999)
Hardawn (1937)
Wrecked Em (1983)
Pussy Galore (1965)
Cunning Stunt (1969)


Now for the semi-hilarious ones:

No Fat Chicks (1988)
Oliver Klozov (1967)
Spineless Jellyfish (1978)
Lags Behind (1956)
Chicks Dig Me (2000)
Full of Skittles (1996)


And the drug/alcohol category:

Alcohol Related (2000)
Totally Toasted (2004)
Plastered (1973)
Sotally Tober (1989)


There have also been a few horses out there that have wound up on TV who had pretty interesting names. One horse, Hoof Hearted, who raced in more than 60 career races, became better known as "Who Farted?" for somewhat obvious reasons.


 

And some idiot out there actually named his horse Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
 
 

And lastly, there was a racehorse in France whose name was Bull Sh*t. The French claimed they didn't know what it meant. Right.

[HT: The Jockey Club registry and Slate]
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5/2/09   |   kantwistaye   |   4216 respect

I can't believe Cherry Pop made it by twice.  That's just wrong.

5/1/09   |   WBKsports   |   366 respect

WBKsports wrote:

I found Boo Dee Shaker (2003) there....

5/1/09   |   Lizzo   |   324 respect

A doctor friend of mine named his race horse Moorehead. And yeah, it got past the Jockey Club.

5/1/09   |   eLa_MAe_O   |   1676 respect

fxdirect wrote:
 I have actually won money on OHBEEGEEWHYEN.  The horse raced at Arlington Park outside of Chicago last year.

i dont get  that name!!!!!!
i also saw a horse named girlsgirlsgirls :D 

5/1/09   |   romajoeski

some of my favorite are 'tree' and flunky monkey' because the announcer and 'too far can fast' was funny in the same way as hoof hearted.

5/1/09   |   YankeeDudeL   |   15 respect

I freakin' love it!  (hey, that my make a good horse name, or for Peter Griffin, Freakin' Sweet).  Great post!!

5/1/09   |   fxdirect

 I have actually won money on OHBEEGEEWHYEN.  The horse raced at Arlington Park outside of Chicago last year.

5/1/09   |   TurkogluForMVP   |   50 respect

Hoof Hearted was a good one...

5/1/09   |   snbslugger

chicachericola wrote:
I would love to see what standards the Jockey Club goes by. If Cum Rocket and Pussy Galore aren't suggestive, I want their definition of what is.

Well, Pussy Galore was a character in the James Bond movies so I can see how that might get by.  For Cum Rocket, I have NO idea.

5/1/09   |   chicachericola   |   2 respect

I would love to see what standards the Jockey Club goes by. If Cum Rocket and Pussy Galore aren't suggestive, I want their definition of what is.

5/1/09   |   HippiMouse

Yap!! I bet good money on that horse BULL SHIT. I do believe I saw him still runnin on the inter-state.  The Derby should be wide open this yr.  Nothin forsure. I gotta find a horse that will STOP after a mile & 1/4. War to fast Horses & the beautiful Women in  Kentucky this weekend.....Squeek,squeek!!

5/1/09   |   herbadyoyo

Something just is not right, hollering those names as the horse comes across the finish line.How great is that ?

5/1/09   |   Jubanator14   |   367 respect

I love how basically every horse entered in the Triple Crown races can also double as a name that a guy could give his junk.