Patrick Greene Wants to Sue NHL, Detroit Red Wings For Octopus Abuse

Confirmation That The People Of San Antonio Suck

6/5/08 in NHL   |   CriticalFanatic   |   respect

If you've watched NBA basketball for, oh, say that last five years you likely have the same opinion of San Antonio fans as a I do. They're only slightly less annoying than Manu Ginobili.

It may not entirely be their fault, as most fans of teams who enjoy a great deal of success grow into huge a-holes. However, a radio interview in San Antonio confirms that it may very well be an isolated problem in that city and it isn't limited to basketball fans. They all suck.

Listen above as local radio host Sean Beligian of WDFN 1130AM speaks with Patrick Green and his desire to sue the NHL and Detroit Red Wings for its abuse of octopi. Yes, you may have to read that sentence again to full comprehend his intention.

Thanks to World of Isaac here's a summary of his letter of complaint (you can listen above):
As a citizen of the United States, I consider the octopus tradition as a sign of degenerate minds. It is disgusting and turns my stomache [sic]. The natural environment of the octopus is the ocean. The reason for its capture by fishermen is for human consumption only, not human playtime. To use the body of an octopus in such a manner is to devalue the animal kingdom. If the National Hockey League's policy was to win only 4 games, would fans toss the bodies of dogs and cats on the ice, since they only have four legs?

An animal is an animal. No one owns the ocean. No one owns the octopus. It is every persons responsibility to protect animals who are being shown extreme disrespect. It is my intention, if the Animal Control Division fails to send me a written promise to begin voluntarily to vigorously enforce the Detroit City Code, to file a lawsuit against them. My intention is to have a court issue an order to force the Animal Control Division to do its job. If I do not receive a response to this letter by Friday June 6, 2008, via my e-mail address of [] I will file the lawsuit, against the Animal Control Division and the Detroit Red Wings, for their complicity in this crime.


Patrick Greene
Wow. PETA called and they'd like their irrationality back.

I think the only convincing point is that an animal IS an animal. I can't argue with that. No one can anyone argue that the people of San Antonio suck.

(I toss a complimentary octopus to With Leather for the find)
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6/6/08   |   Jess   |   35098 respect

lol, I meant fat figuratively, as in the overall wasteful lifestyle, but I agree - I'm sure the typical tiny Asian could eat me under the table.

6/5/08   |   tommybalish

Irrational? How? I'm surprised such views come from anybody in San Antonio, not exactly a liberal hotbed, but there's a point to be made.  Just because something's a tradition doesn't make it untouchable or any less stupid than the opinion questioning it.

It is a waste of an animal, how is that arguable?  It's sad that animals are slaughtered, and while the typical fat American chooses to shove that fact into the deep depths of their subconscious, that doesn't even matter.  At least they're going towards food.  Just throwing one on the ice is pretty ridiculous.  Surprised it hasn't been stopped yet.

What's actually stupid, or 'irrational' (whatever), is the fact that most of the geeks throwing the things don't even know what the tradition is - and fail to realize it doesn't even make sense anymore.

I would like to point out the fact that when i have taken 3 in to the joe, they were at the end of the second round in the last game of that round, and the other i cut 2 of the legs off. Yes i cut of it's legs off people some one send me to jail.

6/5/08   |   Nate   |   128 respect

The blind hatred for the complainer is absolute ridiculousness.  Even in my extremely conservative ways I can see that there is actually good sense in what he is saying.  He never once said that man just not eat octopus, nor does he encourage everyone to become vegan.  The point he is making is about wasting the life of an animal for entertainment.  The fact is it's no different then hunting down the biggest bear you can find just because he'd make a nice rug on the floor.

By the way Renegade, the average skinny Asians happen to eat more octopus than the average fat American.

6/5/08   |   tommybalish

Wow, i hope someone grabs this guy by his leg spins him around my head and and hurls him on to the ice. Some one feed this guy a steak a tell his vegan hippy ass to grow up, wow pat get a grip

6/5/08   |   derms33   |   17653 respect

Hey thats good ink in there!