NCAABB, Dumbass

Team And Fan Rapping Is Hazardous To Your March Madness Success

3/13/08 in NCAABB   |   100%InjuryRate   |   1283 respect


Since a fair number of minor championships have already been decided, and we have a reasonably good idea which teams from the major conferences are going to make the Tournament, now is a pretty good time to start thinking about how you're going to make decisions in regards to your bracket. For most of us, this requires dissecting an entire team's season of play. For others, it means choosing which team has the coolest mascot. Regrettably, the mascot idiot usually wins these things.

But we've got something to help you. Find out if your team, or some moronic fan, recently made a stupid music video about how great the team is. It translates into instant NCAA suckage.

Let's take a look at some of the worst offenders.



Up first are the Missouri Tigers. This was a video they put together at the beginning of the 87-88 season. How'd they do? How does getting upset by the #11 seed Rhode Island in the first round sound? Actually, it probably sounds better than this video.


After coming off a Final Four season, Arizona made this video for the 88-89 season. Some would call it arrogant, some would call mind-bogglingly horrible. The final result: 'Zona, as a #1 seed, went down in the Sweet Sixteen. By the way, be sure to catch a glimpse of Kenny Lofton. Seems the curse of the music video clearly followed him into his baseball career.




I'm not really sure when this cartoon was done by South Carolina, but I don't think it really matters. The last time they were in the Tournament was the 97-98 season. And they're not getting back anytime soon.



All right, this is a somewhat higher end video. It's for UNLV and it's by two guys that go by the name Big Beat Battalion. Here's their MySpace page. They talked a pretty big game for the 05-06 season - "top-notch recruits at every position." End result: Didn't even make the Tournament. The following year - no rap - UNLV makes the Sweet 16 as a #7 seed. And guess what? This year they made a remix. Yikes. Good luck, Rebels.



Last, but certainly not least, we have possibly the worst fan video ever made. Deadspin originally unearthed this gem in 2006. However, some fool took it off YouTube, probably in an attempt for white people everywhere to regain some modicum of self-respect. But thankfully, an industrious and awesome individual duplicated it, and thus it lives on. Talkin' bout Kentucky basketball! So how'd Kentucky do that year in the NCAA Tourney? Bounced in the second round.

Also here are two links for MP3s we found for the University of Idaho basketball team.

Rap Style Vandal Fight Song
And Another Rap Style Vandal Fight Song

In case you care, and I know you don't, there's actually a story behind that second rap. Here it is. By the way, the last time Idaho made the NCAA Tournament? I have no idea.

So there you have it. If anyone has made a music video of a basketball team you think can go far in the tournament, including the team itself, then pick a new team.

Unless of course we're talking about NCAA baseball. If you make a team rap about an NCAA baseball team the team is guaranteed to repeat as national champions.
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3/13/08   |   Boski93   |   375 respect

Some other observations:

 

Norm Sloan really? Tsk, tsk, tsk.

 

TOLBERT!

 

When Jud Buechler is trying to drop rhymes then you are in trouble.

 

Mr. Elliot you know they may take that kidney back because of this?

 

Am I the only one who just wants to see Lute try to do a Judge Smails impersonation. "Gambling is illegal at Bushwood and I never slice."

 

South Carolina, save that effort till you are in the Laugh-A-Lympics.

 

As for the offering from UNLV, congrats gentlemen you mad flow is to rap as the MGM Grand Fire was to hotel safety. Sure you think it would be easy to surpass "Walk like Tarkainian" from the late 80's but it isn't.

 

After watching the Lazy Tuesday video, I think some words from Billy Madison are apt, "we are all now dumber for listening to this and may god have mercy on our souls".

 

So what have we learned?

 

Leave Hip/Hop to the professionals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

3/13/08   |   Boski93   |   375 respect

tpowell25 wrote:
I didn't recognize any of the names from the first video, but does anyone else know if anyone from that Sugarhill Gang Missouri team ever played in the NBA?

Sadly I know the answer to this, Derrick Chievous. A 1st round flame out played with Rockets, was kind a like Nelly before Nelly, since he was always sporting band-aids, but on his knees instead of his mug. I did some searching and found that Byron Irvin was another. He flamed out as 1st rounder the next year.

3/13/08   |   tpowell25   |   1627 respect

I didn't recognize any of the names from the first video, but does anyone else know if anyone from that Sugarhill Gang Missouri team ever played in the NBA?