I think we're all aware that there are some athletes out there who are ridiculously stupid. Be it that they're just naturally dumb, or they never paid attention in school, or God only knows what. But the fact is they're just stupid beyond belief.
Well, Wayne Rooney has always been high on the list of idiot athletes. Luckily in pro soccer, they don't have the Wonderlic test, but it'd be interesting to see how he'd do on it. I'm not sure anyone's ever gotten a negative score on the Wonderlic, but if anyone could do it, it's Rooney.
Today's news that almost defies logic is that Rooney never sings the national anthem at football games because he never learned the words. That's, uh, not good, even though I realize there are probably more than a few American athletes guilty of the same crime.
But let's be honest, regardless of how dumb you are, wouldn't you eventually learn the lyrics through sheer repetition? Or at least learn enough words to at least mumble along?
Anyway, Rooney is now being criticized for being unpatriotic - because clearly that's the most pressing concern in England right now. Despite winning 42 international caps, Rooney has yet to sing a single word of 'God Save The Queen' when lining up for his country.
Even funnier is that the ultra stuffed-up Royal Society of St. George - which is essentially a white British loyalty club or something dumb like that - wants to teach Rooney the national anthem.
Yes, that should go over well. Rooney's basically an English soccer hooligan who's an exceptional soccer talent, while the Royal Society of St. George is a bunch of seriously old tightasses. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
Fortunately, a spokesperson for Wayne Rooney accepted the offer for Wayne to learn the anthem.
He said: "If the Royal Society of St George would like to give us a call we may sort something out."
If there is a God, someone will get this thing up on YouTube. God speed, Wayne, I wish you all the best. Although my guess is Vince Young and Chris Leak hope you fail miserably.