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Welcome To The Meat Market - Also Known As The Houston Texans Cheerleader Tryouts
by 100%InjuryRate 100%InjuryRate | >7 days ago7 Comment Comments »

I've never really thought much about how NFL cheerleaders are selected, because frankly, I don't really care. I just care about the finished product on the field. In all honesty though, I've always assumed you just got hundreds of women to show up, picked the 50 hottest ones, and then saw who of them could actually dance - and there's your team.

Oddly enough, that seems to be more or less how it's done. Anyway, because the recent Houston Texans cheerleader tryout photos have leaked out, here's a look at them, from the disaster of the opening rounds to the American Idol inspired finals.



Welcome To The Meat Market - Also Known As The Houston Texans Cheerleader Tryouts Photo

As you can see here, the opening rounds are a total nightmare. It's a sea of hundreds of women gyrating randomly, and some who just say "Screw it, I'm not doing this." By the way, not gyrating = instant cut.



Welcome To The Meat Market - Also Known As The Houston Texans Cheerleader Tryouts Photo

Now, some of you might be thinking to yourselves, with nearly a thousand women here, it must be tough to whittle it down to a reasonable number for later rounds. Actually, it's not hard at all, like here for instance. Everyone in the above photo is officially cut.



Welcome To The Meat Market - Also Known As The Houston Texans Cheerleader Tryouts Photo

Once you get to the next round, you get to dance in the middle of the football field while a bunch of guys who have nothing to do with the cheerleading squad watch you dance. It's kind of like a strip club, except you don't get paid. Thumbs up for the boots.

Once that's done, you move on to the Finals, which take place in some random hotel lobby. There your athletic abilities are tested to the limits.


Welcome To The Meat Market - Also Known As The Houston Texans Cheerleader Tryouts Photo

You'll be tested on jumping ability.



Welcome To The Meat Market - Also Known As The Houston Texans Cheerleader Tryouts Photo

On flexibility.



Welcome To The Meat Market - Also Known As The Houston Texans Cheerleader Tryouts Photo

On ass shaking.



Welcome To The Meat Market - Also Known As The Houston Texans Cheerleader Tryouts Photo

On random pseudo-drug induced dancing skills.



Welcome To The Meat Market - Also Known As The Houston Texans Cheerleader Tryouts Photo

And of course on the always critical high leg kick.


It's not an easy job, but someone has to do it. And I salute the women who put themselves through this rigorous, but rewarding (for me), ordeal. While the final selections have yet to be made, I'll just offer the Texans some advice.


Welcome To The Meat Market - Also Known As The Houston Texans Cheerleader Tryouts Photo

She better be on the team.



Welcome To The Meat Market - Also Known As The Houston Texans Cheerleader Tryouts Photo

Her too. She clearly hikes it like a pro.

Read Related:  NFL
Teams:  Houston Texans
Tagged as:  Unintentional Hilarity
 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#8 | 72 days ago

+10 thumbs upSo I'm assuming these are Cowgirls rejects.
  
7 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First

Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 72 days ago

+6 thumbs upI now understand why the Texans were given a primetime Monday Night game this fall.
#2 | 72 days ago

+10 thumbs upSo I'm assuming these are Cowgirls rejects.
#3 | 72 days ago

+1 thumbs upTexas Girls are hott!
#4 | 71 days ago

+1 thumbs upLooks like you would have too want it pretty bad!
#5 | 71 days ago

+3 thumbs upAt least the folks in Houston will have something to look forward to on the football field this fall...
#6 | 71 days ago

+2 thumbs upThe article got the pictures mixed-up.  This was an audition for Snoop Dog's next video.
#7 | 70 days ago

+1 thumbs upIt must be mighty hard to be a cheerleader observer. That ass shaking routine would make it hard for me... to watch that is.

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