Why UCLA Will Win It All: Hottest Cheerleaders

3/18/08 in NCAABB   |   CriticalFanatic   |   respect



How's your bracket looking? If you're anything like me you immediately filled a bracket out at 7pm Sunday night, only to spend your entire Monday second guessing each and every pick and now it's back to square one.

There's all kinds of articles out there telling you how to win your office pool, each having its own unique formula. Offensive efficiency wins out ... no, it's the team with the experienced guards ... no, it's defense that wins championships. Those are all good metrics worth considering, but we're going to go with a different formula.

Hottest Cheerleaders.

You might think they have no effect on the game itself, but I call it the Michael Strahan Index or the distraction factor, if you will, affecting both opponents and more importantly the officials. Why else do you think the Bruins have received all the calls recently?

With the help of 100% Injury Rate, here's your region by region cheerleading guide.

SOUTH

If you were underwhelmed with Memphis's free throw percentage, the Michael Strahan Index also won't help the Tigers out down the stretch. Respectable, but they're just not going to hang with Oregon. Few can.



I assume Michigan State vs Pittsburgh is causing some headaches, because we were also impressed with their run through the Big East Tournament. However, I'd be doing a disservice to your eyes if I posted anything cheerleader-related from the state of Pennsylvania. It's the Spartans here.



As far as the lower half, go ahead and cross off Marquette. It's in Wisconsin. Cornell and Stanford, done and done. Smart cheerleaders is an oxymoron. You're left to decide between Miami and Texas. As if you any help with this one.



Who's advancing to the Final Four? Well, as much as we're enthralled with the Ducks, few schools can match basketball talent with even superior sideline distractions. Hook 'Em Horns.

WEST

There's not much of a reason to break down this region as the winner is clear, but here's a helpful tip for a tough first round matchup.

They're no Sun Devils (and we're quite sad ASU was left out), but Arizona is the easy call over West Virginia in a game that was previously giving me some headaches.



One more reminder why UCLA is winning it all.



Not that you needed me to tell you this, but Duke lost very, very early.

EAST

Just go ahead, before you do anything else, and scratch Notre Dame out. Butler, too.

A very weak bracket all around still leaves us with mostly chalk. North Carolina wins, but Louisville should take care of the bottom half.



MIDWEST

Two words: Song.Girls.



Wisconsin exits early and Georgetown has nothing worth posting, so it's USC vs Clemson. How did the Tigers manage to upset Kansas you ask? This should help.



We were down on the Tigers, but we're big fans now. In the regional final, the bracket pick remains easy.




NATIONAL CHAMPION

Kevin Love should do plenty of damage on the court by himself, but oh do we love the UCLA Bruins.



Be warned, we're entering the Michael Strahan Index into our bracket pool.
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7/9/09   |   silllygurl

I see what you mean about UCLA......

12/8/08   |   agar

(Edited by agar)

AlexG A-dog saysman these are such ugly he-man are they really cheerleaders? eric astrata was arrested for havingan ugly face and breath that smells like crap in a porto potty so was sentenced to death by smeeling michael pina's tae, ehe smelling antot bibigjensen ackles was doing it with taylor kitch in theback seat of a lexus and jensen ackles and taylor kitch started crying how good it felt.

11/26/08   |   Jess   |   34372 respect

wrote:
Don't cheerleaders get scholarships, too?  Even if they don't, people from all over the world go to school in SoCal.  The time I've spent in and around there I've seen more overly-tanned, bleach-blond bimbos than actual quality product.  I bet there are a lot of imports.

Not that I'm an expert on the issue, but to answer your question - yes, they do.

11/25/08   |   ag762002

DeeRigga wrote:

Well thought out piece.  I especially enjoyed the 'bracketology' used to break down the regions.  Intricate, but written well. 

 

By the way...them honeys are Ohhhh-Cheee-Mama hot, man!!

ugly

3/19/08   |   DeeRigga   |   5704 respect

Well thought out piece.  I especially enjoyed the 'bracketology' used to break down the regions.  Intricate, but written well. 

 

By the way...them honeys are Ohhhh-Cheee-Mama hot, man!!

3/18/08   |   WBKsports   |   366 respect

I live in San Diego, and UCLA is about a 2 hr. drive away...Anaheim is "sandwiched" right in between the two. A lot of the college girls from San Diego, The O.C., and L.A. are either as "hot" or "hotter" than the UCLA and USC cheerleaders. Most of the time they show more skin too...Don't get me wrong, I think women from other states are "gorgeous". That girl from Oklahoma could definitely handle her own out here in So-Cal. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm really happy to have the "home-field" advantage during this "Hot Cheerleaders" competition....

3/18/08   |   CriticalFanatic

Jon wrote:
When Dick Vitale was yelling about ASU, he definitely should have mentioned that.
(Edited by CriticalFanatic)

I suppose she gives new meaning to PTPer

3/18/08   |   Jon   |   5 respect

blamka wrote:

ASU got robbed.  Any school with a cheerleading alumnus that is considered to be one of the porn industry's "most prolific performers" absolutely deserves to be in the Big Dance. 

 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtney_Simpson

When Dick Vitale was yelling about ASU, he definitely should have mentioned that.

3/18/08   |   blamka   |   12 respect

Jon wrote:
Well, unless Morgan State has surprisingly hot cheerleaders, ASU should at least take the NIT easily.

ASU got robbed.  Any school with a cheerleading alumnus that is considered to be one of the porn industry's "most prolific performers" absolutely deserves to be in the Big Dance. 

 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtney_Simpson

3/18/08   |   Keeter   |   92 respect

Nicely done !!!

3/18/08   |   Jon   |   5 respect

Well, unless Morgan State has surprisingly hot cheerleaders, ASU should at least take the NIT easily.

3/18/08   |   100%InjuryRate   |   1283 respect

Jubanator14 wrote:


Oklahoma is a sleeper in the East.
(Edited by 100%InjuryRate)

Poor quality my friend. Poor quality.

NO ONE is a sleeper in the east.

3/18/08   |   Jubanator14   |   367 respect



Oklahoma is a sleeper in the East.

3/18/08   |   kantwistaye   |   4210 respect

wrote:
You're getting as close as you would've by reading this thread.

I can dream, right?

3/18/08   |   kantwistaye   |   4210 respect

... shoulda gone to school in L.A.