With Felton out 4-6 weeks, JR Smith proposes new fadeaway offense

12/28/12 in NBA   |   GFortier   |   520 respect

Blog Photo - With Felton out 4-6 weeks, JR Smith proposes new fadeaway offense
 
The following article, despite being based loosely on non-fiction and bearing a polar resemblance to fact, is truer than you will ever know. Quotes made in this article are conjured out of pure inspiration, while the opinions expressed here are derived from what is both authentic and just.

Following the news that Knicks' point guard Raymond Felton will be out 4-6 weeks with a broken pinky finger, JR Smith has generously offered to run a new-look, fade away offense 'for the good of the team.'

"When one man goes down, the next guy's gotta step up. And after he steps up, he's gotta do a jab step, a crossover, pick up the ball after fumbling the crossover, spin around, fade away, and hit his jumper. That's basketball," said Smith.

Now that the Knicks are short at the point guard position, JR's self-titled fade away offense could be just what the team needs. The offense, as described by a number of dizzied onlookers at Knicks' practice, consists solely of JR Smith losing the ball, pirouetting in one direction, then the other, and finally launching a shot towards the rim as he falls backwards into an inflatable kiddie pool. It's nothing if not exciting.

"I'd rather just play normal basketball," admitted Jason Kidd. "But seeing as JR always brings his own ball to the game and just starts playing, I don't really have a say." 

Knicks' head coach Mike Woodson concedes that the circumstances may have forced his hand in this situation. "It may not be a professional, mentally stable style of basketball, but with Ray out for atleast a month and the mysterious disapperance of my entire playbook, it's something we're going to have to consider," he remarked.

As with anything, installing the fade away offense would have its pros and cons. The Knicks will either shoot 60% or 20% on any given evening; there will be no middle ground. Only JR Smith will be allowed to touch the ball, leaving everyone else on the team well-rested down the stretch. JR Smith will finally get the chance to prove once and for all that he is the greatest basketball player who has ever lived, but he will definitely come up grossly short and could be committed to a mental institution when it's all said and done. Regardless, the Knicks do have options.

Now, for your enjoyment, JR Smith auditioning for Greatest Basketball Player Who Has Ever Lived:
 


 
 
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