Initial reports suggest that this is the man the Yankees signed
"We hear it's some kind of man," announced Yankees president Randy Levine triumphantly, "and we look forward to finding out more as the news comes in.
The "man," Masahiro Tanaka, is rumored to be both a pitcher and of Japanese descent, though neither have been confirmed. The Yankees are still waiting to hear back from their scouts, who accidentally keep sending back scouting reports on Rangers ace Yu Darvish instead of Tanaka.
In signing this man the Yankees have decided to forsake their plan to come in under the $189 payroll mark, and will in turn have to pay a luxury tax this coming season. It appears this particular man was just too popular to pass up.
"Everybody else was shouting and waving money, so we knew it had to be for something good," commented GM Brian Cashman, who was in the midst of counting out $155 million in increments of $5. "if all goes according to our offseason plan, we will have signed ourselves a halfway decent baseball man. which should go a long way in helping us achieve our baseball plan."