Cycling, Dumbass

You Can Cremate Your Son After You Pee In This Cup

3/17/08 in Cycling   |   100%InjuryRate   |   1283 respect

I know that a lot of sports are doing their best to keep pace with performance enhancing drugs, particularly cycling, where cheating is rampant beyond belief. And one of the tricks to catching dope cheats is catching them totally off guard. But this may be taking it a bit too far.

Cyclist Kevin van Impe was at a crematorium last week dealing with funeral arrangements following his day-old son's death when a drug tester showed up and demanded that van Impe provide a sample, warning that otherwise he could face a two-year suspension.
“He wouldn’t even come back later in the day. It was either do it right on the spot or it would be taken as if I had refused,” van Impe said.
You think you're going to cremate your son, buddy? Not until you pee into this cup, you aren't!

By the way, remember that during drug tests, they actually watch you pee so that you don't pull a Whizzinator on them. So one minute you're about to cremate your son, the next minute a dude is looking at your wang while you pee in a cup.

Now, of course there are a few things wrong with this. First off, this probably wasn't the best time and place to be demanding a guy to pee. And two, who in the hell actually signed off on this? I mean, I realize it's important to get the jump on guys, but couldn't you wait until he, you know, got out of the crematorium?

Cycling authorities have said that they'll seek to avoid a repeat in such delicate situations. They now plan to only demand drug tests in less awkward situations like weddings and victory party orgies.
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