Your guide to the proposed NFL rule changes

Proposed rule #4: H-Backs can now wear numbers 40-49

Tired of how predictable the jersey numbers are in the NFL? Remember how exciting it was the first time your team got a wide receiver who wore number 11? I mean, ELEVEN?! Are you kidding me?! It may be madness, but you know what, it's fun.

Now, what the heck is an H-Back, you ask? They're like tight ends, but chunkier! And now, as early as This Septembe, you can catch your H-Back on the gridiron sporting something as silly as #43! All I've gotta say is, who's bringing the pineapple bacon guacamole? Cuz all bets are off!



Proposed rule #5: elimination of the peel-back block inside the tackle box

This block, which is already illegal outside the tackle box, garnered attention after Brian Cushing of the Houston Texans sustained a season-ending injury on Monday Night Football against the Jets. A peel-back block is basically a block landed below the waist of a defensive player from the side or behind. Even more basically, it's very startling, it hurts, and it sucks to have done to you. 

Verdict: It's the responsible thing to do .Though a well-placed peel-back block might spring a tailback loose for a big play, we've got to chalk this one up to player safety. This is what growing up feels like, everybody. Also, look, it's Tim Tebow in a football play! Tee hee. 


Proposed rule #6: ballcarriers will be penalized for lowering crown of their helmets outside the tackle box

H-Backs wearing numbers in the forties aside, this is the big one. Matt Forte called the proposition absurd. Emmitt Smith says it's proof that that NFL has lost it's mind. Naturally, my opinion shold follow that of Matt Forte and Hall of Fame running back Emmitt Smith: I think it's a bad rule.

I understand that player safety goes both ways, and that defensive players need to be protected as well, but with the peel-back block rule serving as an example of a smart change to the game, this is the kind of change that would, in essence, begin to neuter football as we know it.

Wide receivers are now protected from the helmet-to-helmet hit that happens so often when they're trying to hall in a pass, when they're defenseless. The difference here is that the would-be tacklers are not defenseless. They've got the whole play in front of them! If they can't take the hit, they should get out of the way, and consequently, out of the league.

Verdict: No! Don't do it! If this rule were put in play, would Jerome Bettis have ever been? What about Mike Tolbert?!