The Vicar in a small South Island town explains that he must move on to a
larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the
congregation. No one wants him to leave.
Ross Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Southland and Otago, stands
up and proclaims: "If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Holden
every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!"
The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, if the
Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a
foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!"
More sighs and loud applause.
Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, if the Vicar stays, I
will give him sex."
There is total silence.
The Preacher, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say
that?"
Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead
with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his
wife replies: "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he
said, 'Fuck the Vicar'.
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