When a fractured testicle and A-Rod's marriage are the biggest stories of the week, you know it's time to begin the countdown to football. Here's what happened, or rather, what didn't happen this week in sports...

• Fractured.Testicle. 
• Star-Mangled Banner
• When censoring goes wrong Vol. 3,247.
• Don't hassle this Hoff.
• Cynthia and A-Rod, something, something, don't care.
• Two world records were shattered while I wrote this. 
• Tom Crean impresses Bobby Bowden.
• Now we've got kids asking Kobe 'how Shaq's ass tastes.'
• Marshawn Lynch probably shouldn't get his license back... ever.
• Baron Davis will Boom Dizzle back in LA.
• Rachel, one of the many reasons to love this country.

You didn't need me to tell you this, but there's not a whole lot going on this weekend. Tomorrow, Jon will be covering the Hot Dog Eating Contest (seriously) and we'll be posting sporadically throughout the weekend. We're actually going to try to separate ourselves from these computers. We're told that's healthy.

Enjoy your 4th. Happy Birthday, America and thanks for giving us a day off to celebrate such an occasion.

Al Gore is ridin' Dirty

When asked if Al Gore was a member of the dangerous “Scissor Gang Mafia”, he came back with this statement:

“I was freestyling. That’s all. It was all done in fun. Nothing serious whatsoever. That is what MC’s do. They freestyle when called upon.”

 

 

Guy Ritchie says, one more Try to Madonna

British tabloids are reporting that Guy Ritchie is on his way back to New York to try to make their marriage work out.  The Sun reports:   "It is make or break time for Guy and Madonna. She is completely focused on rehearsals for her tour in America and can’t come back to London. They want to make the marriage work, but they are at a stalemate. Divorce is something they have thought about."
Guy and Madonna met through mutual friends Sting and his wife, in 1999.  They began dating, in Aug 2000 she gave birth their son Rocco.  December 22nd 2000 the two were married in Scottland, the family are currently living in London.

Did Anne alert the authorities on her Ex?

Anne Hathaway met Italian Real Estate developer Raffaello Follieri in 2004.  Anne ended the 4 year relationship, and on June 24, 2008, Follieri was arrested on fraud charges for allegedly fleecing investors out of millions of dollars in a phony scheme involving purchasing Catholic properties in the U.S. for re-development.It is reported that he posed as a financial rep. of the Vatican.  There are cases as recently as May 2008.  Follieri's bail is set at 21 million with a stipulation that Follieri must remain under house arrest upon being released on bond. Currently, Hathaway is not facing charges nor is under any investigation in regards to these allegations.  Could it be because she gave them the tip off?

Model dies from 9 story fall in NYC

A young beautiful supermodel, who had appeared on the cover or Elle and Vogue was found dead on the Water Street in the Financial district in Manhattan.  On lookers hear a loud thud and noticed the super model, thinking originally she was struck by a car.  Authorities are thinking it was suicide that took the like of 20-year old Super model Ruslana Korshunova.  Friends say she had just returned from a gig in Paris where she was on top of the world.  However it is reported that there are posts made in a website that she frequented saying "I'm so lost. Will I ever find myself?"

Living La Vida Lohan.

Over the weekend the father of the "Lohan" children put out the following Media Alert:

*MEDIA ALERT**MEDIA ALERT**MEDIA ALERT**

WHAT: PRESS CONFERENCE WITH MICHAEL LOHAN IN REGARDS TO SOME RECENT ALLEGATIONS THAT HE WILL BE ADDRESSING

WHERE: Ritual Supper Club

1743 Cahuenga Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA

WHEN: TONIGHT, 6/27 at 9pm

MICHAEL LOHAN STATEMENT
I have known Kristy since 1983, I hadn’t seen her for 12 years. Dina and I were separated and I had seen Kristy, she was in the middle of a divorce. Years later she contacted me convincing me that I was the only person she was with and that she had my child. My lawyers will sort this out.

CONTACT: XXXX Big Machine Media®, XXXX@bigmachinemedia.com

Apparently the father and ex-husband had an extra marital affair while married - but separated to  mother Dina Lohan of Lindsay 21, Michael Jr 20, Ali 14 and Cody 12.  The "alleged" daughter of Michael Lohan just turned 13 on June 12th.  He has not seen the child or has not supported her financially.  The child had a paternity test with her mothers ex-husband, proving him not to be the father, the mother is claiming Michael was the only other man she was with at the time.  I don't know what could possibly be worse.  Not knowing your father, or finding out you are part Lohan!


New Sex tape.. this one we might find in "Comedy"

There is a new sex tape scandal going on, it is with Verne Troyer and his girlfriend at the time Ranae Shirder.  The couple met New Years Eve of last year, dated for a few months before moving in together.  They recently broke up, but still live together in separate bedrooms.

Ranae was contacted by a local radio station and had the opportunity to ask what is on everyones mind ( even if you won't admit it).

Radio Show: What is Verne working with? Like what is his mini me? What is it like? What is he working with?

Renae: The only thing I'm going to say. This is all I'm going to say. Um. As previously reported on interviews made by him, it is definitely not a tripod.

Radio Show: So Verne is 2'8", 2'10".

Ranae: 2'8"

Radio Show: So you're saying he's proportionate for a man of 2'8"

Renae: Yes.

awww yeah.. but really did we expect much more?

The "Less Cute twin" vs the Celebri-not:

On Letterman this weekend Mary Kate Olsen admitted that she went to High School with "oily" Spencer Pratt from the MTV show The Hills.  Spencer Pratt obviously had a "rebuttal" to her "attacks" saying:"I don't really get why she'd use my name to get press for her little indie film that no one's going to see...She should probably focus more on not getting dressed in the dark than on me." He went on to call her a "troll" and the "less cute twin."



Coming out on DVD July 1st:

City of Men

Drillbit Taylor (Extended Edition) Also: Theatrical Version

My Blueberry Nights

Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns Also: Single Disc

Vantage Point Also: Single Disc

 

In theaters July 4 :

Hancock

Kit Kittredge: An American Girl

The Wackness

Weekend box office totals:

This Wk	Last Wk	Title	Dist.	Weekend Gross	Cumulative Gross	Rlse Wks	# of Theaters
1	-	WALL-E	Buena Vista Pictures Distribution	$62,500,000	$62,500,000	1	3992
2	-	Wanted	Universal Pictures Distribution	$51,118,000	$51,118,000	1	3175
3	1	Get Smart	Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution	$20,000,000	$77,266,000	2	3915
4	3	Kung Fu Panda	Paramount Pictures	$11,746,000	$179,330,000	4	3670
5	2	The Incredible Hulk	Universal Pictures	$9,226,000	$115,508,000	3	3349

Dropping from last week is The Love Guru bringing in $5,440,000 and The Happening bringing in $3,850,000. 

Have a Happy and safe 4th of July, and thank you to all the service men and women out there who are still fighting for out freedom.  We appreciate you!

Nellie T Randompants