There's too much blood in my alcohol system.

People like you are the reason we have middle fingers

And for St. Patrick's Day : Kiss My A** it's Irish!!

"Doubt Everything- Find your own Light!" ... Buddha

I'll submit the link again...

http://www.cafepress.com/cp/prod.aspx?p=ShirtGuy75.37002977

I have a few funny ones.

One shows a picture of a cow jumping over the moon, the caption says "I've got mad skills"

Squirrels....Natures little speed bumps

Practice safe lunch. Use a condiment.

"Sarcasm: Just One of My Many Talents"

"Who Do I have to Sleep with to Get a Drink Around Here?"

Here's me wearing my favorite shirt saying! I picked up my wife with this shirt.

I've got one that says "1986 wiffle ball state champs".  I get a lot of comments on it.    Most of them saying "seriously?".

I got one in Mexico that says "Smarta$$ University".  I was educated well.

Walter from Big Lebowski..."League Bowling is Serious"

I saw a shirt and it had a condom in plastic on the shirt and it said "Break in Emergencies Only"

and then there is this one for my UNC fans:

One of my friends, had an picture, showing Santa Claus, his sleigh, and several reindeer, in a snowdrift, with the wreckage of an outhouse, nearby. A few reindeer have funky looking eyes, and Santa's saying to rudolph....

I said the Schmitt house!!!

"if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?"

lmao

i have a couple:

"a penny for your thoughts a Dollar if you flash me"

"buy me another beer your still ugly"

I put the CUTE in execute

God Bless America......except Idaho   F*** Idaho

I was told there'd be hotter chicks here

these are shirts i have seen in one store:

lets play army, i'll lie down and you can blow the hell outta me

designated driver...for drunk, horny chicks

[arrow pointing up]

half man

[arrow pointing down]

half horse

i cant think of any more right now, but i know there are at least 8 more that are hillarious...of course i would never wear them, that would be wierd. but they are still fun to look at

These are all shirts in my personal collection:

People like you are the reason people like me use medication

I don't have a drinking problem, I drink, I get drunk, I fall down... no problem

some people see the glass as half empty ,others half full... I just want to know who the hell is drinking my beer

The proctologist called... they found your head

9 out of the 10 voices in my head say don't shoot

I'm dressed and out of bed, what else do you want?

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it

"Ancient Chinese philosophy" **what looks like colligraphy until you turn your head to the side and see "f**k this s**t"** 

a few maternity shirts i had said:

Practice Makes Pregnant

yes i know what causes it

watermelon smuggler

all i wanted was a back rub

i grow people, what is your power

I'm in my own little world, it's okay, they know me here.

Make 7

Up Yours

My parents said I could be anything I wanted so I became an A-----e.

At a Golpher - Badger game they were wearing shirts that said jump around on this with an arrow pointing down.

Actually an idea I have thought about , however did not follow through. Picture of George  and Dick on each breast with caption My Boobs are bigger than yours.

I lie to girls.

Drunk chicks dig me

"it's not a bald spot, it's a solar panel for a love machine"