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What's your favorite Arrested Development quote?

I miss this show. Please keep me entertained with some of your favorite quotes from this special comedy series. You can do an all-time favorite, one for each character, etc., I don't care. I just want you to bring the funny.

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#10 | 66 days ago
sports_schmorts (+)

Scott Senay wrote:
Arrested Development movie!!!!!
+6 thumbs upThat would be great and all, but I would rather have the show back on.
  
20 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 67 days ago

+4 thumbs up

I'll start with my favorite GOB quote:

 

Gob: And if I'm going to be staying here —

Lucille: Staying here? What, did that Mexican throw you out?

Gob: She's not "that Mexican," Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. Anyway, it's

over.

Lucille: You've got three days.

Gob: Hey ... if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay here.

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#2 | 67 days ago
sports_schmorts (+)

+3 thumbs up

Tobias: As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.

Michael: Really? When did that start?

Tobias: Well, I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help.
#3 | 67 days ago
sports_schmorts (+)

+3 thumbs up

Gob: You know, I sort of thought my contribution could be a magic show.

Michael: Oh, that's perfect, Gob.

Gob: Thank you.

Michael: Or, wait a minute. I just remembered something — Dad's retiring, not turning six
#4 | 67 days ago
sports_schmorts (+)

+3 thumbs up

Lindsay: Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.

Lucille: Not as much as you enjoyed yours. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair.


Lucille: You might want to let that fire go out before you stick your face in it.

Lindsay: Ah, that's funny. Because I was going to say, you might want to lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol.

Lucille: Mine was better.
#5 | 67 days ago
sports_schmorts (+)

+3 thumbs upI really can't stop, and now I want to watch it.. sonovabi..
#6 | 67 days ago

+4 thumbs up

Lucille: I'm giving the company to Buster.

Michael: Buster? You're giving the company to a guy who thought the blue on the map was land?

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#7 | 67 days ago

(Edited by pogoowner)
+3 thumbs upCarl Weathers:  Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's still plenty of meat on that bone. Now you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you've got a stew going.

Tobias Funke:  Yes, that's fine, but I would like to focus on my acting, Mr. Weathers. I did give you my last $1, 100.

Carl Weathers:  Let me tell you a little story about acting. I was doing this Showtime movie, Hot Ice with Anne Archer, never once touched my per diem. I'd go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup... baby, I got a stew going.

Tobias Funke:  [pause] I think I'd like my money back.
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#8 | 67 days ago

+3 thumbs upIsn't the whole series just a series of hilarious and entertaining quotes?  Another great show that most America was too busy watching jucky "reality shows" to pay attention to and it got canceled.  Fags.
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#9 | 66 days ago

Arrested Development movie!!!!!
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#10 | 66 days ago
sports_schmorts (+)

Scott Senay wrote:
Arrested Development movie!!!!!
+6 thumbs upThat would be great and all, but I would rather have the show back on.
#11 | 66 days ago

+3 thumbs up

My favorite Michael quote:

 

Michael: Is it just me, or does this rape room have the same floor plan as our kitchen?

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#12 | 66 days ago

+2 thumbs up

Favorite Barry quote. Man, Henry Winkler was so good on this show!

Barry Zuckerkorn: Do you want to read it?

Michael: No, it is thick. Why don't we just take it?

Barry Zuckerkorn: I could kiss you on the nuts.

Michael: Yeah, well -- what?

 

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#13 | 66 days ago

+3 thumbs upNarrator: Tobias listens to a day's worth of his own words, to see what Michael was referring to...
Tobias Fünke: [on tape] ... even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.
Tobias Fünke: Nothing wrong with that.
Tobias Fünke: [on tape] Oh, I've been in the film business for a while, but I just can't seem to get one in the can.
Tobias Fünke: It's out of context.
Tobias Fünke: [on tape] I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks.
Narrator: ...and he realized there is something distinct about the way he speaks.
Tobias Fünke: Tobias, you blowhard.
[chuckles]
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#14 | 66 days ago

+3 thumbs upGob: I'm a failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper
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#15 | 66 days ago

+1 thumbs upBob Loblaw's Law Blog
#16 | 66 days ago

+1 thumbs upI'm a failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper...classic
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#17 | 66 days ago

+2 thumbs up

My favorite Maeby scene:

 

Maeby: Wait, you get to miss school for that?

Narrator: And that's when Maeby decided to become a devout Christian

Maeby: Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the ‘T’ on it?

Michael: That’s a cross.

Maeby: Across from where?

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#18 | 62 days ago

+1 thumbs upI heard Tobias was a "never-nude".
#19 | 27 days ago

+1 thumbs upDayum!!  The show?  I thought you were talking about the Rap Group..."Tennessee"...Got me all twisted there...
#20 | 26 days ago

+1 thumbs upTobias Fünke: Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

Mae 'Maebe' Funke: You and I are so different. It's like we're not even related.
[she leaves]
George Michael Bluth: That would be amazing.


Also, when Michael (the father) and Maebe were singing "Afternoon Delight"
Seriously . . . anytime I think of how screwed up my family is, I pop in Arrested Development and my world is at ease once again.
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