Asked by: huskerdoug2009 (+)
Answers Created: 20589
Denver Broncos



Last Answer: KSbengals99 (+)
Answers: 6022
Cincinnati Bengals




« Locker Room Polls
4
Which one is worse
Yesterday I went to visit my friend who is in his mid 30's and he was literally passed out drunk inside his house against the front screen door and seemed to have been their for at least an hour.  When his wife who is slightly younger than him got home a few minutes later with their 3 yr old and 9 month old I told her and we woke him up and got him over to the couch so he could pass out and sleep it off.  This has been going on for at least 3 of the 7 years they were dating, and the entire 5 years of their marriage.  His wife says she's done nearly every day of that entire period.  So my question is which one's worse?  Him being a drunk that supposedly won't move out or stop drinking, or her for not holding up her threat to divorce him and move on with her life?
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room, People | Closes 735842 days | Multiple Choice Opinion Poll
She's in love so he is wrong
She's wrong and should know better
Both wrong(obviously) kids deserve better
other
4

(Caution -- you will be unable to change your answer.)


 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#2 | 602 days ago

Sounds like they're both in the wrong but it also sounds like he may need some sort of help. Maybe she really loves him and doesn't want to go anywhere, thinking that threats might inspire him to stop drinking. Sometimes even if we don't like something someone does, we love them and don't really WANT to be without them. If he's abusing her or the children in some way, that's one thing and she should definitely get out. But if that's not going on, just because he's an alcoholic doesn't make him a bad person...I have alcoholics in my family who are wonderful people, they just have a problem. Maybe instead of offering up your help to her, since she doesn't want it anyway, find a way to help him...and you may need help from others who know and love him to do that. You never know - if he gets help it could end up being just fine, they could have a happy, healthy marriage and their children can grow up in a happy, healthy home.
Enter the poll to see my answer
  
8 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 602 days ago

I have a hard time feeling sorry for her since she seems to turn down other's including me who have offered her assistance(no side motive on my part) including legal advice and financial support to help her move on.  I have also gone to his employer,(sports bar) and asked them to quit overserving him when he gets off his shift as kitchen manager.  He is 5'6 and maybe 145, so after 1 beer and couple of shots he looks like he should be on skid row.
Enter the poll to see my answer
#2 | 602 days ago

Sounds like they're both in the wrong but it also sounds like he may need some sort of help. Maybe she really loves him and doesn't want to go anywhere, thinking that threats might inspire him to stop drinking. Sometimes even if we don't like something someone does, we love them and don't really WANT to be without them. If he's abusing her or the children in some way, that's one thing and she should definitely get out. But if that's not going on, just because he's an alcoholic doesn't make him a bad person...I have alcoholics in my family who are wonderful people, they just have a problem. Maybe instead of offering up your help to her, since she doesn't want it anyway, find a way to help him...and you may need help from others who know and love him to do that. You never know - if he gets help it could end up being just fine, they could have a happy, healthy marriage and their children can grow up in a happy, healthy home.
Enter the poll to see my answer
#3 | 601 days ago

Alcoholism is a disease. Has he always drank like this? Did he "suddenly" start drinking more after some kind of stressor? They both probably could use some professional help. Threats usually don't work. A weekend with her family or away from him might jolt him, but an empty threat is just that empty.
Enter the poll to see my answer
#4 | 601 days ago

HES A BIG TIME JERK FOR CONSISTANTLY DOING IT......AND SHE DOES NEED TO KICK HIS ASS TO THE CURB.............doesnt SEEM like he will EVER CHANGE...........indecision
#5 | 601 days ago

As stated earlier, they both need professional help but we are commenting from the outside- love is blind and it hurts
Enter the poll to see my answer
#6 | 600 days ago

He won't get the help he needs because in his alcoholic mentality, he doesn't need help or her nagging him about getting help or she'll divorce him. That is how he is seeing things in his mind, and that is the alcohol talking.

She needs to do what is best for herself and the children and get him out of the house and their lives, but in my learned opinion, what she is afraid of is this: that if she does divorce him and kicks him out, he'll use that as an excuse to drink even heavier and kill himself with booze eventually. So "out of love and concern for him", she does nothing.

Question I have is this: where is the rest of his family in this? Parents? Aunts and Uncles? Brothers and Sisters? Cousins? Family friends?  Husker, what you need to do is go to them and tell them how bad he is and that he needs: a. an intervention with all of the family and friends there; b. placed in a long-term alcohol rehabilitation center (for minimum of 1 year) where he will learn the 12 steps and how to apply them to his life; c. counseling for him and his wife on their marriage and the effects his alcoholism is doing to his family. And then you need to help his wife get in touch with people from Al-Anon and other groups for those who have family members who need to start going to Alcoholics Anonymous so she will be able to deal with his alcoholism better, and to get the children into therapy  when they are older so they will understand that their father has a disease that is slowly killing him.

Either that, or tell his wife to start planning his funeral. After being with him for 12 years, she needs to make a stand for herself and for their children.
Enter the poll to see my answer
#7 | 434 days ago

Jess wrote:
Sounds like they're both in the wrong but it also sounds like he may need some sort of help. Maybe she really loves him and doesn't want to go anywhere, thinking that threats might inspire him to stop drinking. Sometimes even if we don't like something someone does, we love them and don't really WANT to be without them. If he's abusing her or the children in some way, that's one thing and she should definitely get out. But if that's not going on, just because he's an alcoholic doesn't make him a bad person...I have alcoholics in my family who are wonderful people, they just have a problem. Maybe instead of offering up your help to her, since she doesn't want it anyway, find a way to help him...and you may need help from others who know and love him to do that. You never know - if he gets help it could end up being just fine, they could have a happy, healthy marriage and their children can grow up in a happy, healthy home.
I know what Dr. Drew and the majority say, but I think "alcoholism is a disease" is kind of lame. If you are human, you put a wife and child way ahead of booze, right? If not, you don't deserve to be a part of that family. I don't think anyone talking to him or time in AA are the answers...he has to get it all by himself and just give up what's ruining his life and others.
Enter the poll to see my answer
#8 | 434 days ago

rockysnappyduke wrote:
I know what Dr. Drew and the majority say, but I think "alcoholism is a disease" is kind of lame. If you are human, you put a wife and child way ahead of booze, right? If not, you don't deserve to be a part of that family. I don't think anyone talking to him or time in AA are the answers...he has to get it all by himself and just give up what's ruining his life and others.
I respect what you're saying, and I agree to a certain point. You *should* always put your loved ones above all else. However, I have alcoholics in my family and I do have a couple of friends who have struggled. They don't have the same perspective as you or I might when it comes to how alcohol is affecting their lives or their relationships. They don't see things clearly (obviously). It's an addiction. Even if they know it's destroying their lives, it's not always that easy to give up. I would think people would put their own lives over drugs or even cigarettes but there are plenty of those who, even while knowing the dangers of losing their lives, continue to do them.
Enter the poll to see my answer

Post a Comment   Already a user? Sign in here
Join FanIQ - It's Free
FanIQ is the ultimate free community for sports fans.
Talk sports with fans from all over - 1,649,417+ Comments
Track your game picks - 38,670,182,382+ Sports Predictions
Prove you know sports - 116,275+ Trivia Questions
Find fans of your teams - 11,453,110+ New Friends