The 38-year-old woman thought nothing of it when her friend Tony Green called to ask for a ride to a repair shop to pick up his car. But when she arrived at his home in Palm Bay, Florida, things got very weird.

Green grabbed her from behind and handcuffed her wrist. They struggled, and Green knocked her to the floor several times, but he couldn't get the handcuff on her other wrist. "I got to have it," he kept saying. He wanted sex.

But the woman outsmarted him and agreed to talk about sex in a conversation that lasted two hours as she tried to calm him down. Finally, she gave Green a hug and told him she loved him like a brother. That seemed to melt him sufficiently. He uncuffed her and let her go...

The woman naturally called the cops as soon as she was free. With police listening, she called Green on the phone, allowing the moron to incriminate himself.

Green had been planning the abduction for months, he said. His plan was to handcuff her, then take nude photographs. He'd use these to blackmail her into having sex with him once a week "as a treat."

But the mope said he didn't plan to hurt the woman. He'd taped cotton balls on the cuffs to soften the restraints. He had fleece-lined leather straps and chains anchored to a carpeted plank because he knew she'd struggle during his photo shoot, and he didn't want her to get hurt.

Green also readily admitted to being the woman's stalker, but he promised to never abduct her again for "16 more years." Why that time frame? We don't know.

Alas, having said all this with police recording the call, he's now charged with kidnapping, attempted sexual battery, stalking, battery and threats of extortion. If convicted, he faces up to 30 years in the slam, which should allow him to make good on his promise of not abducting again her for a long, long time.