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What is your secret to surviving the holiday with your family?
| Closed on 12/24/09 at 05:00PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room, Personal | Numeric Input Opinion Poll
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Question
463.6491. What is your secret to surviving the holiday with your family?

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#2 | 1759 days ago

Lots of alcohol!! I suppose to bring a dish!! Yea right! I dont cook! Is McDonalds considered a dish? I am bringing the alcohol to a family that does not drink!! Ha-Ha !!! That will show you not to invite my dumb ass!!
69  
  
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#1 | 1759 days ago

My girl has her parents coming to town for 10 or so days...I've told work I'm on call if the needs arises...and real or not, I'm sure it will...

#2 | 1759 days ago

Lots of alcohol!! I suppose to bring a dish!! Yea right! I dont cook! Is McDonalds considered a dish? I am bringing the alcohol to a family that does not drink!! Ha-Ha !!! That will show you not to invite my dumb ass!!
69  
#3 | 1759 days ago

grumbling followed by we are not staying very long followed by eating too much and being miserably happy and not wanting to get off the couch to go to the bathroom let alone leave. then you go home and think about the fun you really did have, and how much you will miss Aunt Pain-in-the-Butt, or Uncle Cant Stop Telling War Stories, when they are gone. And the older I get I wonder how many more family dinners and holidays we will have left together.  Grumble, grumble, grumble.. lol  HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE.
#4 | 1759 days ago

When I got an iPod years ago, it was my near-perfect "drowning out" device. It still seems to work pretty effectively.
#5 | 1759 days ago

Ketel One and Ear Plugs.
#6 | 1759 days ago

I actually enjoy spending time with my family.  It's better than having to be at work!
1  
#7 | 1759 days ago

Apply booze. Shake, stir, repeat as necessary.
88  
#8 | 1759 days ago

Good luck...

52  
#9 | 1759 days ago

Prayer
#10 | 1759 days ago

qtowndogg wrote:
I actually enjoy spending time with my family.  It's better than having to be at work!
Me too! (though I do like work..lol)
13  
#11 | 1759 days ago

Sleep more.
1  
#12 | 1759 days ago

(Edited by acegresh)
Sorry LJ, I didn't mean this to be a reply.  My answer would be to leave as soon as possible.
#13 | 1759 days ago
JRSFLAME88 (+)

Some type of little sedative will work.  I hope!
88  
#14 | 1759 days ago

Lainey’s Thanksgiving Dinner Rules

10 RULES FOR THANKSGIVING
 
1. Don't get in line asking questions about the food. "Who made the potato salad? Is it egg in there? Are the greens fresh? Is the meat in the greens turkey or pork? Who made the macaroni and cheese? What kind of pie is that? Who made it?  Ask one more question and I will punch you in your mouth, knocking out all your fronts so you won't be able to eat anything.
 
2. If you can't walk or are missing any limbs, sit your ass down until someone makes your plate for you. Dinner time is not the time for you to be independent. Nibble on them damn pecans and walnuts to hold you over until someone makes you a plate.
 
3. If you have kids under the age of twelve, I will escort the little moochers to the basement and bring their food down to them. They are not gonna tear my damn house up this year. Tell them that they are not allowed upstairs until it's time for Uncle Butchie to start telling family stories about their mommas and papas. If they come upstairs for any reason except for that they are bleeding to death, I will break a foot off in their asses!
 
4. There is going to be one prayer for Thanksgiving dinner! JUST ONE! We do not care that you are thankful that your 13 year old daughter gave birth to a healthy baby or your nephew just got out of jail. Save that talk for somebody who gives a damn. The time limit for the prayer is one minute. If you are still talking after that one minute is up, you will feel something hard come across your lips and they will be swollen for approximately 20 minutes.
 
5. Finish everything on your plate before you go up for seconds! If you don't, you will be cursed out and asked to stay your greedy ass home next year!
 
6. BRING YOUR OWN TUPPERWARE!! Don't let me catch you fixing yourself a plate in my good Tupperware knowing damn well that I will never see it again! Furthermore, if you didn't bring anything over, don't let me catch you making a plate period or there will be a “misunderstanding”.
 
7. What you came with is what you should leave with!! Do not leave my house with anything that doesn't belong to you. EVERYBODY WILL BE SUBJECTED TO A BODY SEARCH COMING IN AND LEAVING MY PROPERTY!!!
 
8. Do not leave your kids so you can go hopping from house to house. This is NOT a DAYCARE CENTER ! There will be a kid-parent roll call every ten minutes. Any parent that is not present at the time of roll call, your child will be put outside until you come and get him or her. After 24 hours, I will call DSS on your ignorant ass!!
 
9. BOOK YOUR HOTEL ROOM BEFORE YOU COME INTO TOWN!! There will be no sleeping over at my house! You are to come and eat dinner and take your ass home or to your hotel room. EVERYBODY GETS THE HELL OUT AT 11:00 pm. You will get a 15
minute warning bell ring.
 
10. Last but not least! ONE PLATE PER PERSON!!! This is not a soup kitchen. I am not trying to feed your family until Christmas dinner! You will be supervised when you
fix your plate. Anything over the appropriate amount will be charged to you before you leave. There will be a cash register at the door. Thanks to Cousin Alfred and his greedy ass family, we now have a credit card machine! So VISA and MASTERCARD are now being accepted. NO FOOD STAMPS OR ACCESS CARDS YET! 
 
5  
#15 | 1759 days ago

I enjoy spending the holidays with my family.
666  
#16 | 1759 days ago

one word ALCOHOL...lol
#17 | 1759 days ago

Football, beer, food.....


Take away one of those three, and I'll be miserable.
1969  
#18 | 1759 days ago

Hoping one of my jets breaks and that the techs on base require my assistance in carrying out a repair that lasts at least three days.
69  
#19 | 1759 days ago

put 600 miles between you and have a five minute phone call on the holiday.
0  
#20 | 1759 days ago

click heels 3X....say where u wanna be....and poof! 
#21 | 1759 days ago

I actually like my family too.. plus I'm playing in a hockey tournament this weekend
8  
#22 | 1759 days ago

FIREFLY
#23 | 1759 days ago
IowaHusker (+)

Even if we have to watch Texas on Thanksgiving, at least its football..LOL
#24 | 1759 days ago
18packabs (+)

Avoid them at all costs.
49  
#25 | 1759 days ago

IowaHusker wrote:
Even if we have to watch Texas on Thanksgiving, at least its football..LOL
I plan to watch....   need to scout the team we play in the conference championship game (presented by Dr. Pepper).
1969  
#26 | 1759 days ago

WHE DONT HAVE THANKGIVING, THANKS   







86  
#27 | 1759 days ago

I love my family and love anytime we can be together.  Don't think of it as something to be survived, but to be enjoyed and a memory to tuck away for later years.   Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
11  
#28 | 1759 days ago

I kinda like the airing of grievances during the Nyce Family Festivus.
514  
#29 | 1759 days ago
fasterhurry (+)

I love my family but prefer 2 holiday without them
100  
#30 | 1759 days ago
rsteven45 (+)

I try my best to not answer the phone in Dec. when they call.  If that doesn't work BEER.
#31 | 1759 days ago

Eat. Eat. Eat.
#32 | 1759 days ago
kammi42 (+)

I work all the special holidays it beats being alone ,i would love to have family that i need to survive. You are all very lucky.
#33 | 1759 days ago
AndiLee0388 (+)

I call them , tell everyone how much I love them, and then go back in my LR, with a thick old turkey sandwich, and a beer or three, and watch football

For Xmas, I send all their gifts in the mail, make the same phone calls, and  go see a movie, or curl up with someone special, if there happens to be one of those around LOL

Don't get me wrong,I love the holidays, but I like them better with my family in CT and me in FL..way too cold for me that time of year!
3  
#34 | 1759 days ago
AndiLee0388 (+)

sc0ttm0 wrote:
I plan to watch....   need to scout the team we play in the conference championship game (presented by Dr. Pepper).
I am thinking ya'll better be watching the Gators if you're talking the CHAMPIONSHIP game...LOL
3  
#35 | 1759 days ago

A dry and very sarcastic wit, thick skin, my patent-pending "so when are you going to get a boyfriend?" deflection shield, and a smooth buzz going from the time I wake up until it's all over. 
#36 | 1759 days ago

(Edited by Chief_aka_James)
janet011685 wrote:
A dry and very sarcastic wit, thick skin, my patent-pending "so when are you going to get a boyfriend?" deflection shield, and a smooth buzz going from the time I wake up until it's all over. 
Lol, at 18 my grandma kept asking "so when am I getting a great-grandson or daughter??" You're worried about just deflecting boyfriend questions..
#37 | 1759 days ago

Chief_aka_James wrote:
Lol, at 18 my grandma kept asking "so when am I getting a great-grandson or daughter??" You're worried about just deflecting boyfriend questions..
Yeah, but I doubt your grandma follows up those questions with, "Well are you at least getting some?". 
For the win ... it's good.
Welcome to the holidays with my family.
#38 | 1759 days ago

janet011685 wrote:
Yeah, but I doubt your grandma follows up those questions with, "Well are you at least getting some?". 
For the win ... it's good.
Welcome to the holidays with my family.
Oh grandma's...

Wait, are you officially inviting me?
#39 | 1759 days ago

Chief_aka_James wrote:
Oh grandma's...

Wait, are you officially inviting me?
  Have you had all your shots? 
If you're up for it, be prepared...
Stay low and keep your hands UP to cover your face at all times.  Wear a cup.  Never make eye contact ... they see it as a challenge.  And be cool, they smell fear a mile away (that and sweet potato pie). 




#40 | 1759 days ago

janet011685 wrote:
  Have you had all your shots? 
If you're up for it, be prepared...
Stay low and keep your hands UP to cover your face at all times.  Wear a cup.  Never make eye contact ... they see it as a challenge.  And be cool, they smell fear a mile away (that and sweet potato pie). 




I happen to make one fantastic sweet potato pie. I think I could handle it.
#41 | 1759 days ago

Football, Kitchen Chores, Booze, Garage duties.....(cousins, Father and others know I have a TV hook up in the garage with beer and a space heater!).

But main thing needed for holiday survival.........a sense of humor!

5  
#42 | 1759 days ago

I live in the midwest my family lives in Georgia, New Mexico, Arizona and California.    We keep it that way during the holidays.
333  
#43 | 1759 days ago

Refer to my answer above.
333  
#44 | 1758 days ago

alainpeartree wrote:
Lainey’s Thanksgiving Dinner Rules

10 RULES FOR THANKSGIVING
 
1. Don't get in line asking questions about the food. "Who made the potato salad? Is it egg in there? Are the greens fresh? Is the meat in the greens turkey or pork? Who made the macaroni and cheese? What kind of pie is that? Who made it?  Ask one more question and I will punch you in your mouth, knocking out all your fronts so you won't be able to eat anything.
 
2. If you can't walk or are missing any limbs, sit your ass down until someone makes your plate for you. Dinner time is not the time for you to be independent. Nibble on them damn pecans and walnuts to hold you over until someone makes you a plate.
 
3. If you have kids under the age of twelve, I will escort the little moochers to the basement and bring their food down to them. They are not gonna tear my damn house up this year. Tell them that they are not allowed upstairs until it's time for Uncle Butchie to start telling family stories about their mommas and papas. If they come upstairs for any reason except for that they are bleeding to death, I will break a foot off in their asses!
 
4. There is going to be one prayer for Thanksgiving dinner! JUST ONE! We do not care that you are thankful that your 13 year old daughter gave birth to a healthy baby or your nephew just got out of jail. Save that talk for somebody who gives a damn. The time limit for the prayer is one minute. If you are still talking after that one minute is up, you will feel something hard come across your lips and they will be swollen for approximately 20 minutes.
 
5. Finish everything on your plate before you go up for seconds! If you don't, you will be cursed out and asked to stay your greedy ass home next year!
 
6. BRING YOUR OWN TUPPERWARE!! Don't let me catch you fixing yourself a plate in my good Tupperware knowing damn well that I will never see it again! Furthermore, if you didn't bring anything over, don't let me catch you making a plate period or there will be a “misunderstanding”.
 
7. What you came with is what you should leave with!! Do not leave my house with anything that doesn't belong to you. EVERYBODY WILL BE SUBJECTED TO A BODY SEARCH COMING IN AND LEAVING MY PROPERTY!!!
 
8. Do not leave your kids so you can go hopping from house to house. This is NOT a DAYCARE CENTER ! There will be a kid-parent roll call every ten minutes. Any parent that is not present at the time of roll call, your child will be put outside until you come and get him or her. After 24 hours, I will call DSS on your ignorant ass!!
 
9. BOOK YOUR HOTEL ROOM BEFORE YOU COME INTO TOWN!! There will be no sleeping over at my house! You are to come and eat dinner and take your ass home or to your hotel room. EVERYBODY GETS THE HELL OUT AT 11:00 pm. You will get a 15
minute warning bell ring.
 
10. Last but not least! ONE PLATE PER PERSON!!! This is not a soup kitchen. I am not trying to feed your family until Christmas dinner! You will be supervised when you
fix your plate. Anything over the appropriate amount will be charged to you before you leave. There will be a cash register at the door. Thanks to Cousin Alfred and his greedy ass family, we now have a credit card machine! So VISA and MASTERCARD are now being accepted. NO FOOD STAMPS OR ACCESS CARDS YET! 
 
And this, Lainey, is why I love you so.   
#45 | 1758 days ago

(Edited by raja_starkglass)
 Every day is thanks giving day, here in this part of the world, we are still a big family, a loony impossible dad for my daughter, moody brooding mother of hers with me as my wife, 34 dogs of all eccentric mischief in play, a lot to clean and keep the home hygienic, daughter who feels that she is in US working for US of America, in this continent, in ghost shifts, bucketful of love and vessels full of patience it is the feel of being together, that is thanks giving, no special thanks giving as it is everyday thanking the goodness of all, to be a big loving, caring and sharing family.
        At the top of it, finding  "TIME" for all good friends to share and care the joys and sorrows of living the life with a site that cares only for the dollars and not love or respect.!
59  
#46 | 1758 days ago
NorseHeathen (+)

The secret to surviving family gatherings is sending the immediate family to visit the extended family--a cold beer, frozen pizza, and football games....
#47 | 1758 days ago

God no !! Holidays were created so familys can aggrevate each other   
  A good bottle of Jack < some turkey hoydogs and football >   no drama
#48 | 1758 days ago

God no !! Holidays were created so familys can aggrevate each other   
  A good bottle of Jack < some turkey hoydogs and football >   no drama
#49 | 1758 days ago

AndiLee0388 wrote:
I am thinking ya'll better be watching the Gators if you're talking the CHAMPIONSHIP game...LOL
How are they going to get there after they lose to Alabama? Besides, I'm talking about the Big 12 Championship game (presented by Dr Pepper).
1969  
#50 | 1758 days ago

A frontal labotomy.
8  
#51 | 1758 days ago

janet011685 wrote:
And this, Lainey, is why I love you so.   
thank you very much thank you very much :-)
5  
#52 | 1758 days ago

Multiple bottles of wine, any color any flavor!!!!
1  
#53 | 1758 days ago

 WHAT? I CAN`T HEAR YOU!
#54 | 1758 days ago
AndiLee0388 (+)

Aww That's sweet LJ, but I have to work at 8 Friday morning,and I am still whooped from Homestead. I have a 15 lb turkey I am gonna cook up with a few fixin's, and seriously chill. Thanks for worrying tho'

Besides, I'd rather be kidnapped for the Steelers Miami game.....LOL
3  
#55 | 1758 days ago

AndiLee0388 wrote:
Aww That's sweet LJ, but I have to work at 8 Friday morning,and I am still whooped from Homestead. I have a 15 lb turkey I am gonna cook up with a few fixin's, and seriously chill. Thanks for worrying tho'

Besides, I'd rather be kidnapped for the Steelers Miami game.....LOL
If there's going to be a kidnapping I want to be involved, maybe AndiLee and Leslie could kidnap me for a weekend of fun and football!
69  
#56 | 1758 days ago

You can pick your friends but not your family, So go to the club,
#57 | 1757 days ago

Remember, if all else fails, this will soon be in the past.
0  
#58 | 1756 days ago

Love spending time with my family - so I can't wait for the holidays to start!
10  
#59 | 1756 days ago

Ear plugs
#60 | 1754 days ago
BlondeKitten (+)

Bartender!..Need another!

#61 | 1751 days ago

It's kind of like the Griswold's at my house but you tolerate, put on a smile and be thankful that at least there was maybe only 1 fight and that you have a family to argue with!!

#62 | 1749 days ago
vindog (+)

Lots of CROWN ROYAL or CAPTAIN MORGAN with a splash of Pepsi!   I recommend this recipe to everyone!
77  
#63 | 1729 days ago

JACK DANIEL'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
22  
#64 | 1729 days ago

(Edited by murphyiv)
Lord I am weak, petty, spiteful, at times ignorant and impatient. Allow me the strenght to curb all of those things and think of others first. Allow me to set the example and not be the problem. Forgive me for my trangressions, and eagerness to point out the faults of those that are critising me. May the beer and wine you have provided, allow me to let those things pass me by and stay focused on the fact that I don't get to see my loved ones often. When I do, I know you have provided over the counter medicated libation, that will calm me enough and not make reach for my 40. springfield armory XD. I  will not grab the normal trouble makers by the neck and frisby throw them through the window therefore making all the women and chillin cry and run for cover!  AMEN.....................THEN I GET OUT OF BED AND SAY, "LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
#65 | 1729 days ago

I just figured out what to survive. Enjoy get  together with my family and friends and then Saturday when her family is coming over I volunteered to work. That makes me happy.
#66 | 1729 days ago
AndiLee0388 (+)

3  
#67 | 1729 days ago

weldwater wrote:
Lots of alcohol!! I suppose to bring a dish!! Yea right! I dont cook! Is McDonalds considered a dish? I am bringing the alcohol to a family that does not drink!! Ha-Ha !!! That will show you not to invite my dumb ass!!
Sounds good. I'm ready for a shot of SOUTHERN COMFORT right now.
#68 | 1729 days ago

AndiLee0388 wrote:
avoiding them, lol !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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