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Can We Just Be Friends? (Edited 08/07/07 09:20AM by Seth)

I've been divorced for a year.  This is something that I came up with about 11 years ago.  If you say, lets just be friends, do you really mean it, or is it jut the polite thing to do.

Featured by: Ty at 8/06/07 12:17PM
| Closed on 10/26/07 at 05:00PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room | Multiple Choice Opinion Poll
89 Fans 
27%a. Yes Let's be friends
43%b. No It's just polite
30%c. Other

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#1 | 2549 days ago
Anthonyg7575 (+)

Depends on the situation, in my case, she can kiss my *** and rot.
Other  
  
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#1 | 2549 days ago
Anthonyg7575 (+)

Depends on the situation, in my case, she can kiss my *** and rot.
Other  
#2 | 2549 days ago

Anthonyg7575 wrote:
Depends on the situation, in my case, she can kiss my *** and rot.
What are you talking about you aren't even divorced yet!
Other  
#3 | 2549 days ago

Me on the other hand I haven't talked to my ex in about 6 and a half years and since I got divorced 6 years and 8 months ago. I think we aren't going to be just friends.
Other  
#4 | 2549 days ago

Well we do have kids, so its hard not to, but it is limited.  I once devoted a whole english class to this topic in college.  It was a good day.
Other  
#5 | 2549 days ago

well yes it all depends on the people and the situation, for instance if kids are involved you may want to remain friends or at least be civilized.
Other  
#6 | 2549 days ago

if you have young children it's necessary. 
Other  
#7 | 2549 days ago

Wow this kind of became a marriage/divorce thing, but I was just thinking relationships in General.  Thanks to all who have answered and made it one of the "featured" polls.
Other  
#8 | 2549 days ago

hskrdave wrote:
Wow this kind of became a marriage/divorce thing, but I was just thinking relationships in General.  Thanks to all who have answered and made it one of the "featured" polls.

To answer your question when it comes to children. If each parent loves their child/children as much as they say they do then anything is possible. If they can't be friendly then they are still being plain selfish because everything is now about the kids. No matter if it was cheating, lazy, new start or whatever. You can look past it for the kids for the short time you are around each other while the kids are together with you both. When you leave and are hanging out with your new person of interest you can say whatever you want about the other one.

 

The only exception I have is divorce involving physical abuse.

Other  
#9 | 2549 days ago
Anthonyg7575 (+)

kappafla211 wrote:
What are you talking about you aren't even divorced yet!
This would be true.
Other  
#10 | 2549 days ago

It's not really clear what you are asking in the question here.  I would guess if you tell somebody you just want to be friends then that means you don't want anything else.
Other  
#11 | 2549 days ago

(Edited by Crackersex)
If you say it, you should mean it.  If you didn't mean it like that, then you should have said, well..it's hard to go from husband and wife to friends, so for the sake of the kids..lets be civil to each other.  My ex and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, however it still doesn't change the fact he's still the father of our children & I'm their mother.  Now to be his friend? ha! I'm civil but couldn't see myself hanging out with the guy!
That's what good girlfriends are for, "chicks before dicks" night out and man bashing! well, for those who have that situation...and fella's your night out is called "Bro's before Hoes" No disrespect intended.
ON NON MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPS...again, if you can both agree you're better friends than a couple then sure.  Just did that one a couple weeks ago and things couldn't be greater!
Good Luck
Yes Let's be friends  
#12 | 2549 days ago

Crackersex wrote:
If you say it, you should mean it.  If you didn't mean it like that, then you should have said, well..it's hard to go from husband and wife to friends, so for the sake of the kids..lets be civil to each other.  My ex and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, however it still doesn't change the fact he's still the father of our children & I'm their mother.  Now to be his friend? ha! I'm civil but couldn't see myself hanging out with the guy!
That's what good girlfriends are for, "chicks before dicks" night out and man bashing! well, for those who have that situation...and fella's your night out is called "Bro's before Hoes" No disrespect intended.
ON NON MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPS...again, if you can both agree you're better friends than a couple then sure.  Just did that one a couple weeks ago and things couldn't be greater!
Good Luck
Hey guys have a saying too "bros before hos". Just throwing that in there.
Other  
#13 | 2549 days ago

I have a lot of women who are very good friends and there will never be anything else involved because they know and I know there will be noone else besides my wife!

 

My ex-wife and I were pretty good friends about six months after the divorce and even after I re-married.  It took my wife awhile to understand that I felt sorry for my former wife; she could walk across a field with a 100 people and be the only one to step in Bull S_ _ _!  It was true when she married me and it was true 17 years ago when I saw her last; poor baby just makes bad decisions!

Yes Let's be friends  
#14 | 2549 days ago

I'm friends with my ex now. It didn't start out that way though. It took a couple of years. Neither one of us ever siad "let's be friends" when we broke up. It was more like "I'm going to kill you". We get along pretty good now and will even hit the bar every now and then.
No It's just polite  
#15 | 2549 days ago

kappafla211 wrote:
Hey guys have a saying too "bros before hos". Just throwing that in there.
were you referring to what I said, or that I forget it? I'm like on my crash and burn day today and have had Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much coffee!
Yes Let's be friends  
#16 | 2549 days ago

Crackersex wrote:
were you referring to what I said, or that I forget it? I'm like on my crash and burn day today and have had Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much coffee!

haha i just noticed your screename and you're little headline you got there- I think it's pretty funny, but not entirely true

 

also related to the poll, which makes me look like less of a jackass

Other  
#17 | 2549 days ago

Crackersex wrote:
were you referring to what I said, or that I forget it? I'm like on my crash and burn day today and have had Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much coffee!
I think he must have missed that you DID say that.  Maybe he read it too fast.
Yes Let's be friends  
#18 | 2549 days ago

Crackersex wrote:
If you say it, you should mean it.  If you didn't mean it like that, then you should have said, well..it's hard to go from husband and wife to friends, so for the sake of the kids..lets be civil to each other.  My ex and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, however it still doesn't change the fact he's still the father of our children & I'm their mother.  Now to be his friend? ha! I'm civil but couldn't see myself hanging out with the guy!
That's what good girlfriends are for, "chicks before dicks" night out and man bashing! well, for those who have that situation...and fella's your night out is called "Bro's before Hoes" No disrespect intended.
ON NON MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPS...again, if you can both agree you're better friends than a couple then sure.  Just did that one a couple weeks ago and things couldn't be greater!
Good Luck
It is hard to go from husband and wife to friends, especially right away.  My ex-wife is now one of my best friends, but it's been 5 years since our divorce, and the first year was tough. There is a lot more jealousy when it comes to ex-husbands/wives, and to truly be friends, you have to completely get past that.  It was always much easier to be friends with my ex-girlfriends (if they are a good person of course!)
Yes Let's be friends  
#19 | 2548 days ago

most poeple never talk to thier ex's again so in that case no, but if there is some issue where you cant be together or something then ya
Other  
#20 | 2548 days ago

In terms of a relationship saying we can be just friends seems like a polite way of saying no, but it also ends up being a not right now, but maybe later  thing.
No It's just polite  
#21 | 2534 days ago

Depends. Someone may just have a great connection with you as a friend or they could be trying to tackle the easy way out. I would say it depends on how honest the person is. A honest person will tell you the truth...sometimes the truth hurts but at least its the truth.
Other  
#22 | 2534 days ago

Friendships don't work by watching the grass grow, so if you only kinda mean it then you'll probably end up resenting that person, as we all don't want to deal with those we don't want to nor need to deal with. Just keep it real (haven't said that phrase in a while) 

Other  
#23 | 2534 days ago

Anthonyg7575 wrote:
Depends on the situation, in my case, she can kiss my *** and rot.
it was funny that you were the first, most brief, and undeniably most absolute.
Other  
#24 | 2493 days ago

I usually mean it, but most people just can not be honest enough to say ' "GD I divorced ( broke up) with you for a reason...... heck no we can not be friends."

 

When I say let's be friends, I usually mean, "heck no I would rather stick needles in my eye than date you!"

No It's just polite  
#25 | 2493 days ago

jmh321 wrote:

I usually mean it, but most people just can not be honest enough to say ' "GD I divorced ( broke up) with you for a reason...... heck no we can not be friends."

 

When I say let's be friends, I usually mean, "heck no I would rather stick needles in my eye than date you!"

but you haven't date me yet.  i'm not saying im better than needles in your eyes, i'm just saying is all.
Other  
#26 | 2493 days ago

hskrdave wrote:
but you haven't date me yet.  i'm not saying im better than needles in your eyes, i'm just saying is all.
I am just saying thats all- if I do not want to date someone I say- "c'mon we make such good friends. why would you want to ruin that?"
No It's just polite  
#27 | 2493 days ago

jmh321 wrote:
I am just saying thats all- if I do not want to date someone I say- "c'mon we make such good friends. why would you want to ruin that?"

i understand that.  but to be honest, i think most guys hate it when they see a girl they are friends with, they want to date, but are then told, no we are just good as friends.

 

or maybe that just happens to me

Other  
#28 | 2493 days ago

hskrdave wrote:

i understand that.  but to be honest, i think most guys hate it when they see a girl they are friends with, they want to date, but are then told, no we are just good as friends.

 

or maybe that just happens to me

No it happens to alot of men, because they cross that friend line instead of being a little more assertive and make a play before we confide too much in you like one of our girl friends...... or before we 'hang out' like buddies......... once you cross that line it is hard to come back from it. It is like me and sports. I have a lot of guy friends, because I am so much like a sports buddy, they no longer see me as  girlfriend potential.

No It's just polite  
#29 | 2493 days ago

(Edited by hskrdave)
jmh321 wrote:

No it happens to alot of men, because they cross that friend line instead of being a little more assertive and make a play before we confide too much in you like one of our girl friends...... or before we 'hang out' like buddies......... once you cross that line it is hard to come back from it. It is like me and sports. I have a lot of guy friends, because I am so much like a sports buddy, they no longer see me as  girlfriend potential.

women are an enigma.

 

estrogen = insanity

 

i'd probably be gay if it wasnt for that whole pen!s thing.

Other  
#30 | 2493 days ago

hskrdave wrote:

women are an enigma.

 

estrogen = insanity

 

i'd probably be gay if it wasnt for that whole pen!s thing.

And i would be if I did not like pen!s's......

 

testosterone = stupidity!

No It's just polite  
#31 | 2493 days ago

jmh321 wrote:

And i would be if I did not like pen!s's......

 

testosterone = stupidity!

ouch. if i wasnt so stupid because of my testosterone, i might be offended.
Other  
#32 | 2493 days ago

hskrdave wrote:
ouch. if i wasnt so stupid because of my testosterone, i might be offended.
But I am so insane, I might  kill you for the other comment!
No It's just polite  
#33 | 2493 days ago

jmh321 wrote:
But I am so insane, I might  kill you for the other comment!
whats the other comment? i make a lot of politically incorrect ones.  you'll have to be more specific.
Other  
#34 | 2493 days ago

hskrdave wrote:

women are an enigma.

 

estrogen = insanity

 

i'd probably be gay if it wasnt for that whole pen!s thing.

this one!!!!

No It's just polite  
#35 | 2493 days ago

jmh321 wrote:

this one!!!!

ahh. oh well do what you have to do.  if you can stalk as good as you say, i should be dead within the week.  unless your like my grandfather said: the more they fight with you the more they like you.
Other  
#36 | 2476 days ago

It's like this, guys don't have female friends.  We have chicks we haven't slept w/ yet.  And if the relationship is over, we only wanna be friends for those nights we're drunk and have no one else to sleep w/. 

 

Sure, u can be just friends, but if a chick says she just wants to be friends, she really doesn't want anything to do w/ u anymore and she's gonna generally avoid u so that u don't hold her to her word and actually become friends.

Other  
#37 | 2475 days ago

YankeeDudeL wrote:

It's like this, guys don't have female friends.  We have chicks we haven't slept w/ yet.  And if the relationship is over, we only wanna be friends for those nights we're drunk and have no one else to sleep w/. 

 

Sure, u can be just friends, but if a chick says she just wants to be friends, she really doesn't want anything to do w/ u anymore and she's gonna generally avoid u so that u don't hold her to her word and actually become friends.

***hiccuppp**  hey there Yank, wanna come over.....

 

No It's just polite  
#38 | 2474 days ago

jmh321 wrote:

***hiccuppp**  hey there Yank, wanna come over.....

 

Let's just be friends.

Other  
#39 | 2473 days ago

YankeeDudeL wrote:

Let's just be friends.

Ok..... so, when I ome over to paint your toenails, and watch the game, should I pack a bag?
No It's just polite  
#40 | 2473 days ago

Depends...do u snore?

Other  
#41 | 2473 days ago

YankeeDudeL wrote:

Depends...do u snore?

Did I say I would be sleeping?

No It's just polite  
#42 | 938 days ago

Jackson State will get the home win.

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