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Joke of the Day -- 03/03/2010
 Joke of the Day -- 03/03/2010  Photo
| Closed on 03/12/10 at 05:00PM
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6712.1471. Joke of the Day -- 03/03/2010

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#4 | 1693 days ago

  
17 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 1693 days ago

A lady just getting started out selling Avon, was very happy about her new career
while in the elevator heading to the top floor. She decided she would start and work
her way down. When she farted, and the elevator stopped about half way up she
took out a new pine fragrance to cover the smell. In stumbled a drunk man and
she noticed him sniffing, Feeling kinda happy about this might be her first sell.
So she asked the drunk you like the smell of that? To her surprise the drunk
man turned to her and said ,"Lady it smells like somebody sh*t a Christmas tree."
69  
#2 | 1693 days ago

Amen .. lol
#3 | 1693 days ago
Mr_Rogers (+)

A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.

He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure.

Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.

He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."

The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.

This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you."
#4 | 1693 days ago

#5 | 1693 days ago

69  
#6 | 1693 days ago

Som, i couldn't see the picture. 
11  
#7 | 1693 days ago
18packabs (+)

Keep wishing........
36  
#8 | 1693 days ago
Cherrie (+)

(Edited by Cherrie)

#9 | 1693 days ago

Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."

"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill.

As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"

"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan.

"The bottle has a hole in it!"

"What about the PC?"

"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan.

"And it's missing three keys,"

"Which three?"

"Control, Alt and Delete."
#10 | 1693 days ago

Men strike back!

 

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably

never be able to support you.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer

to the kitchen sink.

-----------------------------------------------------------

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'

-----------------------------------------------------------

How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

----------------------------------------------------------

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the

front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

-- --------------------------------------------------------

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by

90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

----------------------------------------------------

Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

------------------------------------------------------

Women will never be equal to men

Until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and

still think they are sexy.

------------------------------------------------------

Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and

To the select few women who can handle it!

 

AND MAXINE SAYS.............'MARVIN'...

#11 | 1693 days ago
JRSFLAME88 (+)

The war of the sexes will never end, but the woman will ALWAYS have the upper hand!  Very funny guys!

88  
#12 | 1693 days ago

omg this is hilarious !!! LMFAO
#13 | 1693 days ago

Kenne wrote:
I wanted to respect your comment but I press the reply button, I was about to tell you that your joke is blurry, maybe there's something wrong with my eyes
#14 | 1693 days ago

Kenne wrote:
wow - well played. i damn near had a heart attack
#15 | 1693 days ago

#16 | 1693 days ago

VIOLET wrote:
I wanted to respect your comment but I press the reply button, I was about to tell you that your joke is blurry, maybe there's something wrong with my eyes
Well, there may be something wrong with your eyes.....but your batteries must be working just fine !!   
1.21  
#17 | 1693 days ago

lol so trye, it wasn't blurry 2 me, jk
99999.999  

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