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Joke of the Day -- 03/18/2010
 Joke of the Day -- 03/18/2010  Photo
| Closed on 03/28/10 at 05:00PM
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Question
54.751. Joke of the Day -- 03/18/2010

 &nbp;
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#1 | 1659 days ago

69  
  
8 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
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#1 | 1659 days ago

69  
#2 | 1659 days ago

Next time you're on an elevator and feel alittle bored, liven up the moment with some of these insightful ideas.

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they hear something ticking.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"

Fart loudly then exclaim "Was that you. There's no way I could do that one because unfortunately mine don't come out loud."

Before the elevator door opens shout "DING" and then laugh and say "beat you again Mr Elevator."

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

Hire a labrador, wear sunglasses and repeatedly walk into the walls whilst pretending to not hear the other passenger's direction.

Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "that's mine!"

Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

#3 | 1659 days ago

#4 | 1659 days ago

JenX63 wrote:

Next time you're on an elevator and feel alittle bored, liven up the moment with some of these insightful ideas.

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they hear something ticking.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"

Fart loudly then exclaim "Was that you. There's no way I could do that one because unfortunately mine don't come out loud."

Before the elevator door opens shout "DING" and then laugh and say "beat you again Mr Elevator."

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

Hire a labrador, wear sunglasses and repeatedly walk into the walls whilst pretending to not hear the other passenger's direction.

Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "that's mine!"

Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

how did you kno ive don all those thingz
#5 | 1659 days ago

fairfaxchelsea wrote:
how did you kno ive don all those thingz
Me too
#6 | 1659 days ago

TWO OLD MEN

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST
DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN.
AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL.

THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS
AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO
BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED.

THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING
TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE
DIFFERENCE.

THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD
MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS.
AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS,
'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD !'

'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?
'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE
TIME I WAS LOVING HER.'

HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.

A WITCH, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?'
'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON
THE NECK AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE
FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW, TAKING MY TEETH WITH HER.'
#7 | 1659 days ago

SickPuppy wrote:
now that sht is funny.
87  
#8 | 1659 days ago

Good uns. 
18  

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