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12
Next time, I will just run him over!

Since it is the weekend and we don't have a Filter Error, I need to share a story.

A little back story first, I live in a relatively small town, about 60,000. We have limited forms of public transportation, so some of the people who live here, and don't own cars have to figure out other means to get around town. One of the more popular means is bicycles. In an effort to alleviate traffic congestion and keep bikers safe, we have bike lanes on just about every major road. But my problem isn't 90% of the bikers, it is the 10% that don't follow the traffic laws. They ride the wrong way on one way streets, don't stop at stop lights or red lights, and most importantly don't use the designated bike lane, when provided.

So, now for the real reason for this poll. After work today, I was headed south in the left lane on one of our one way streets. On this particular road the bike lane is on the right hand side of the road. Right in front of me is this douche riding in the middle of the road, slowing down traffic. I whip around said tool and yell out my window "Use the bike lane A$$hole."  He proceeds to peddle as fast as he can, and pulls up beside me, at a red light, and ask me what I said. I happily repeated my first statement and added "The city provides a bike lane for you, and requires you to use them. Just cause you are on a f**king bike doesn't mean that you don't have to follow traffic laws."

Just as I get home, my phone rings and I see that it is my direct supervisor. I wonder why he is calling me, I figured that I forgot to do something before I left work. When I answer, my boss ask me to return to work, cause he needs to speak to me. So, I drive back to work, where I sit down with my supervisor and one of the front of the house managers(FOH). They tell me that Douche McBikerider called and claimed that I accosted him. They ask me if it happened on property, I tell them what happened. They both laugh and lecture me that even though it isn't a big deal, I need to be more conscientious that I am representing the company at all times and need to be more careful about how I handle situations like this. The FOH ask me if I had it to do over again, how would I handle it differently? I respond with, "Next time, I will just run his f**king a$$ over."

So, have you ever had something happen outside of work, that has gotten you in trouble at work?

| Closed on 08/23/10 at 11:45PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room | Multiple Choice Opinion Poll
14 Fans 
21%a. Yes, one time.....
21%b. Ha Ha, you have road rage
14%c. Ha Ha, you got b!tched out
43%d. Douche McBikerider

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#22 | 1487 days ago

The answer to your question is "yes", but it's not really an interesting or funny story.  So instead, I'll tell you the story of MY bicyclist experience, also known as "My Crown Jewel of a Moment in my Vehicular History".

I was stopped at a red light at the main road in the town where I grew up, I think I was about 17 at the time.  So in my peripheral, I see a cyclist pedaling along the main road (also going the wrong direction ... ugh).  My philosophy is/has always been that I will share the road with those who abide by the rules.  However, if you break the rules of the road, I will mow you down ... then probably stop, laugh a little, yell at you for being dumb, and then drive off.  
So anyway, my light turned green (meaning his, obviously had turned red), so I start to go.  Well Lance Armstrong here in his yellow spandex cycling get-up decided, I guess, that red lights do not apply to him, so he continued to go, putting us on a collision course.  Obviously he didn't see the article in Douche-Cycles Monthly about me, because I don't yield to cyclists when they don't have the right of way, so I continued to go.  Apparently when he got within 11 feet of my Jeep (ol' Bessie, may she rest in peace) he realized, "this crazy bitch ain't stopping".  So he had to hit (or squeeze ... don't know the right cyclist lingo, sorry, I'm not down) the brakes and swerve to avoid me.  This caused him to lose his balance and topple over ... all I heard was, "whoa, oh sh*t!".  MFer went DOWN.  Yesssssssss!  When I tell you ear to ear grin as I drove off, laughing, I mean you couldn't get that smile off of me for hours.  And, in my head, I gave myself 5 points for that one (couldn't, in good conscience, give myself the full 10 points since I didn't actually hit him).  

And, to bring my contribution here on home, there's this...






Douche McBikerider  
  
25 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 1488 days ago

Yes, I have rental house business and one or my customers I just happen to have on my route at work is one that I evicted about two years ago! About every 2-3 weeks she files a complaint about me for something! My bosses have come accustom to this and just blow it of now!
#2 | 1488 days ago

#3 | 1488 days ago

hockey54 wrote:
Thanks for the laugh, I now want to drive around town looking for Douche McBikerider, less.
Ha Ha, you have road rage  
#4 | 1488 days ago

dead men tell no tales. enough said?
Ha Ha, you have road rage  
#5 | 1488 days ago

(Edited by kteacher)
No....and it's a good thing I haven't. It's not like teachers are given the benefit of the doubt anymore.
Douche McBikerider  
#6 | 1488 days ago

How did Douche know where you worked?
#7 | 1488 days ago

(Edited by richard_cranium)
SickPuppy wrote:
How did Douche know where you worked?
I still had my company logo-ed work shirt on, since I had just gotten off of work. I hadn't had a chance to change shirts yet.
Ha Ha, you have road rage  
#8 | 1488 days ago

can anyone imagine one of the Q'ers getting murdered? not that i mean i want it to happen, but everyone on faniq would track down that murderer and i don't even want to think about what we would do!!!!  you guys are awesome <3 
#9 | 1488 days ago

I have asked someone if they wanted to pull over so I could beat their a$$ once, but both of us were in cars. 
Yes, one time.....  
#10 | 1488 days ago

hi.
#11 | 1488 days ago

Beaneaters wrote:
I have asked someone if they wanted to pull over so I could beat their a$$ once, but both of us were in cars. 
It is probably better that he didn't ask me to step out of my car. I would be sitting in the cross bar hotel, and this poll would have to wait till Monday.
Ha Ha, you have road rage  
#12 | 1488 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
hi.
hiiiii  friiiiind
#13 | 1488 days ago

 I respond with, "Next time, I will just run his f**king a$$ over."


I  you!!
#14 | 1488 days ago

I have had this happen and since I didn't see him (personally I think he was looking for a payday), I DID run his rear end over.
Not that I meant to. He was riding the wrong way and decided to see if he could ride in front of me before I turned. What a mess this turned out to be. In the end he was ok, but I'll tell you I was a mental mess after that.
Douche McBikerider  
#15 | 1488 days ago

Joe_L wrote:
hiiiii  friiiiind
wtf is the janet face for...Jerk?
#16 | 1488 days ago

I almost hit a guy the other night...he was wearing black, riding on the WRONG side of the road with NO LIGHTS on his bike...I started to turn right and saw him at the last minute....told him he was riding on the wrong side of the road...he flipped out...felt like I was 17 again...
Douche McBikerider  
#17 | 1488 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
wtf is the janet face for...Jerk?
fixed
#18 | 1488 days ago

richard_cranium wrote:
It is probably better that he didn't ask me to step out of my car. I would be sitting in the cross bar hotel, and this poll would have to wait till Monday.
Great story, I try to remember to take my work badge off before I tell someone they are knuckleheads. But sometimes, especially when they ask you to tell them that they are knuckleheads twice, you just gotta let them know what's up...
Yes, one time.....  
#19 | 1488 days ago

Joe_L wrote:
fixed
Hiii JOE!
#20 | 1487 days ago

My comment has less to do with the question than it does the bike rider...the minute I started reading I was relating with the HELL that you're going through with the bicyclists not following traffic laws. As anybody who's ever been to Key West probably knows, OH EM EFFING GEE.

I'm sorry you got in trouble at work - that's b.s. I don't know that anything I've done outside of work has gotten me in trouble. I used to do a lot of crazy stuff too...I guess the places I've worked have never really cared what I did off the clock.
Douche McBikerider  
#21 | 1487 days ago

No not outside of work.  I always did enough at work to keep me in trouble.
Ha Ha, you got b!tched out  
#22 | 1487 days ago

The answer to your question is "yes", but it's not really an interesting or funny story.  So instead, I'll tell you the story of MY bicyclist experience, also known as "My Crown Jewel of a Moment in my Vehicular History".

I was stopped at a red light at the main road in the town where I grew up, I think I was about 17 at the time.  So in my peripheral, I see a cyclist pedaling along the main road (also going the wrong direction ... ugh).  My philosophy is/has always been that I will share the road with those who abide by the rules.  However, if you break the rules of the road, I will mow you down ... then probably stop, laugh a little, yell at you for being dumb, and then drive off.  
So anyway, my light turned green (meaning his, obviously had turned red), so I start to go.  Well Lance Armstrong here in his yellow spandex cycling get-up decided, I guess, that red lights do not apply to him, so he continued to go, putting us on a collision course.  Obviously he didn't see the article in Douche-Cycles Monthly about me, because I don't yield to cyclists when they don't have the right of way, so I continued to go.  Apparently when he got within 11 feet of my Jeep (ol' Bessie, may she rest in peace) he realized, "this crazy bitch ain't stopping".  So he had to hit (or squeeze ... don't know the right cyclist lingo, sorry, I'm not down) the brakes and swerve to avoid me.  This caused him to lose his balance and topple over ... all I heard was, "whoa, oh sh*t!".  MFer went DOWN.  Yesssssssss!  When I tell you ear to ear grin as I drove off, laughing, I mean you couldn't get that smile off of me for hours.  And, in my head, I gave myself 5 points for that one (couldn't, in good conscience, give myself the full 10 points since I didn't actually hit him).  

And, to bring my contribution here on home, there's this...






Douche McBikerider  
#23 | 1487 days ago

YES...I WAS ALLOWED TO TAKE THE DELIVERY TRUCK HOME WAS GOING TO BE BACK THE NEXT MORNING AT 3AM TO DRIVE TO RICHMOND VA. ON THE WAY HOME A WOMAN ON A CELL PHONE PULLED ON THE INTERSTATE RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME ALMOST HIT HER AND BEFOR I KNEW I WAS PASSING HER AND FLIPPING HER THE INTERNATIONAL SIGN OF ......FORGOT THE OFFICE PHONE WAS ON THE TRUCK WHEN I GOT BACK FROM RICHMOND GOT A LECTURE FROM THE BOSS,JUST HAVE TO BE CAREFUL NOW DAYS PEOPLE WILL SHOOT FIRST AND ASK QUESTIONS LATER
Yes, one time.....  
#24 | 1487 days ago

richard_cranium wrote:
I still had my company logo-ed work shirt on, since I had just gotten off of work. I hadn't had a chance to change shirts yet.
You know those big hands at games that have the index finger pointing up ... to say "we're number one"? You should get one of those -- made out of wood ... next time you pass him, put it out the window to let him know he's number 1 and if it accidentally knocks him on his a$$ ... oh well
#25 | 1487 days ago

 I just never got caught....in the future you should take an extra shirt to change into as soon as you are out the door....that's my PSA for the day.....
Douche McBikerider  

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