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The Q Roast of Janet

The Q Roast of Janet Photo

What can I say about Janet? She is sweet, polite, warm, out going, and friendly. Sorry that is the opening for the Violet roast. So Janet used to date a professional athlete, she won't say who. Now this could be for a number of reasons. First she has too much respect for this guy to reveal his name publicly, no that probably isn't it. He wasn't actually a starter for anyone, he was a bench warmer. I doubt that, Janet doesn't deal with scrubs. So it must be because he is ugly, no that isn't likely either. So it must be because he was married and she doesn't want us to know she is a home wrecker. Ahhhh, there it is Janet dated Tiger Woods! Two things I do know about Janet are that she is fiercely loyal and brutal on her friends, not to sure if it is a good thing to be her friend or not. I have gone from being told "You complete me" to being told to "STFU! The Q Roast of Janet Photo" in the span of less than 24 hours. She has probably typed that phrase so many times, that you can no longer locate those letters by looking at her keyboard. Well that is our lovely Janet, all the charm and cuddle-ability of a porcupine. I have saw her flirt with many male Q'ers before, but none more than, Stoney. It is like watching 2 junior high kids flirt. Good thing they aren't actually on a play ground together, the rocks would be flying. Janet and Stoney are to the Q, what crabs are to a lonely sailor. No matter what you do to avoid them, somehow you get them. I could probably sit here and give you all a 10,000 word essay, picking on Janet, but I better save some stuff for all of you. So I will move on now.

I normally would make jokes about Janet's teams here, but I don't believe she could actually tell you anything about them. So all the jokes would be lost on her. I am going to go and Walk the Pupster now. You all have fun and play nice. Remember to follow the CoC.

| Closed on 08/08/10 at 11:45PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room | Numeric Input Opinion Poll
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Question
101.5881. The Q Roast of Janet

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#23 | 1484 days ago

 
 
  how can you possibly have a roast and follow the coc? this is not a REAL roast... so anyway.
 
Janet, says she's dated an ex-athlete, yeah right. only one? pfft, She's had sex with more New York Yankees than ARod. She's hit the five hole more times on Lundquist than Sid the Kid. She's on Wilt Chamberlain's Christmas card list. Twice. 
 
And she calls herself a fan of the NY teams? She doesn't even know when they are playing or whose pitching or anything. Well at least she contributes in one way, by adding one sack to Osi Umenyiora's total every week. 
 
Apparently she can sing. Well I've heard her sing, And yes she has a killer voice. She killed two dogs and a parakeet with her voice. dayooo, I'll be here all week. Her singing voice sounds like Richard Simmons exercising after downing a six pack of red bulls.  I heard she lost out on singing the national anthem at the Knicks game once, she got beat out by Rosanne Barr.
 
And whats with only having two photos? Whats the matter you can't find any more photos of that hot chick again? Come on, we all know you're 250 lbs and look like the female version of Danny DeVito. I mean here's a girl who eats Pop Tarts for dinner. 
 
But one thing about Janet, she does love dogs. She grooms them and some she even dates on the internet. Speaking of the internet, why does she spend so much time on the Q? I have the answer. Cos she has NO life. Every week she wins the contribution award. What is she contributing really though? Haven't we heard enough of her self loathing? I mean gosh even Dennis Rodman has a little more self respect than her.
 
And what about the gays? oh yeah she loves them alright. And they love her too. NOT. She planned a big BBQ for them and only ten of them showed up. And only half of them were REALLY gay. The other half were there because they heard she was easy. Anyway, I guess the gays had something better to do that Saturday then cram into a small condo in the slums just to listen to some uggo chick sing Grease songs. 
 
I could go on all day about this, as she's an easier target than Tiger Woods at this point. But I digress. Let me conclude by saying, while I tease her, I know she is a GREAT kid. Very FUNNY. and of course, PRETTY, awesome. And she goes VERY well with Stoney :) Wish you the best.
 
ps. Quit eating donuts like they're good for you.
  
62 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 1484 days ago

Be nice to her! I totally  like her...I know, I know, I'm terrible for these things, that's all I wanted to say, and I'm leaving in 3....2....1.....
#2 | 1484 days ago

VIOLET wrote:
Be nice to her! I totally  like her...I know, I know, I'm terrible for these things, that's all I wanted to say, and I'm leaving in 3....2....1.....
No actual Q'ers are being harmed in the making of these roast. They have volunteered to take some good natured ribbing. Thanks for your contribution.
22  
#3 | 1484 days ago

richard_cranium wrote:
No actual Q'ers are being harmed in the making of these roast. They have volunteered to take some good natured ribbing. Thanks for your contribution.
OK, then. I can go to bed now :)
#4 | 1484 days ago

I'm with Violet on this,  I just can't say anything bad about Janet.
11  
#5 | 1484 days ago

cuddles127017 wrote:
I'm with Violet on this,  I just can't say anything bad about Janet.
Can't say anything, or don't want to out of fear???
#6 | 1484 days ago

ironhead_mike wrote:
Can't say anything, or don't want to out of fear???
OK  you got me there.   




LOL
11  
#7 | 1484 days ago

As Col Klink would say...Janet is VEDDY INTERESTING!  I enjoy the banter...and the way she calls richare cranium d**khead...

Signed...jerkface
69  
#8 | 1484 days ago

Well it depends how you interpret "bad".. I can say some nice naughty things about her..
#9 | 1484 days ago

Janet does seem to be quite the flirt.  She left hummus and Jim Bob Cooter thinking they had a chance. 
#10 | 1484 days ago

 I heard it from a friend of a  friend of a friend...she used to go out with ex-footballer Larry.
#11 | 1484 days ago

jswol54 wrote:
Janet does seem to be quite the flirt.  She left hummus and Jim Bob Cooter thinking they had a chance. 
Add Jai to that list... she just ripped out his heart and stomped it
#12 | 1484 days ago
kirkdiggler88 (+)

Can you say stalkers? That's all that comes to mind.   (Janet be careful) lol
#13 | 1484 days ago

Is it appropriate to give a present at a roast? 

#14 | 1484 days ago

 IF ANYBODY COOKS JANET IT'S  THEIR A$$ THAT WILL BE ON A PLATTER!!     







#15 | 1484 days ago

(Edited by The_Real_Stoney)
Ah, what can I say about J that won't get me the silent treatment for a couple days?
Janet is a d*ck.. a fact that I know hasn't been lost on any of you who are confronted with her crass style on a daily basis
Then you throw in the fact that she's into me and you KNOW something's gone awry due to those late teenage years spent in the clubs, at the bottom of a bottle, and 'm sure some places she's probably glad she can't remember due to the blackouts
Her love of gay men would make George Takei blush, and frankly it's a little creepy how her collection (I think intentionally) resembles a united nations of twinks and bears.  She loves deep man on man kissing almost as much as breathing.. But there's one thing I would never complain about and that is the attention to detail she pays to gay porn and her ability to put it into practice.
I gotta run, but I'll be back for more
8  
#16 | 1484 days ago

If I had a dollar for every kind, thoughtful, clever, witty, and insightful comment Janet has ever posted.... I would have to file for chapter 13 bankruptcy
#17 | 1484 days ago

going to go out on a limb here,, Janet is smart, witty, attractive, intelligent, warm and friendly when she feels like it. She can be mean, nasty,cruel and striahth out cold when pissed or riled but what woman cant be under those circumstances. She smells fear in people like a vampire smells blood but behind the facade she can be a warm and cuddly as a teddy bear. To know her os to love her. To know her her is to have good training or patience in ways of the world and you will slowly and surely see her in diggerent lights as you get to know her. Any more said and I may get a personal visit but you knw what they say

' Never invite a vampire into your house"

#18 | 1484 days ago
cubsgirl2 (+)

 wow this one is hard. Kinda like her.
she is a good friend to anyone, well as long as they dont mind being told to stfu or being called a loser.
she is an advocate, if  gay men want her to be or not.
oh she loves animals, but for some reason i think it is in a come here you little dog way.
she is beautiful, well maybe has anyone really seen her?
No, she really is a warm wooly fuzzy piece of human inter action.   God I have to go be sick now. 





8  
#19 | 1484 days ago

Like the first poster, I don't really have "roast" material. Janet is one of the nicest people on this site (to me anyways). She is very outspoken, will debate an issue like no other (in fact there are many who intentionally post certain things just to get a reaction from her..lol), occasionally calls members "cute" little endearments, and suggest helpful verbs for others to perform on themselves-----------------all of which makes her tops in my book of Q-ratings.
13  
#20 | 1484 days ago



Janet (pictured above) as a panel judge at the recent Drag Queens of Jersey Shore competition.
#21 | 1484 days ago

(Edited by Oddfool)
Janet is such a sweet. (wait, did I say Janet and sweet in the same sentence??) person from (the armpit of the country) New Jersey, the lovely place of her favorite show, Jersey Shore.  She (would rather throw darts at your face then stick a knife in your back, uh, wait a second, before throwing you under the bus, hmmm then dance on your grave) is willing to stand up for the oppressed (just not the ones she oppresses.)   If you have any disagreement with Janet, I'm sure she will gladly (tell you to STFU) communicate with you to work out your differences (by telling you she is right!!) and come to an agreement.

                                                
42  
#22 | 1484 days ago
cubsgirl2 (+)

kteacher wrote:
Like the first poster, I don't really have "roast" material. Janet is one of the nicest people on this site (to me anyways). She is very outspoken, will debate an issue like no other (in fact there are many who intentionally post certain things just to get a reaction from her..lol), occasionally calls members "cute" little endearments, and suggest helpful verbs for others to perform on themselves-----------------all of which makes her tops in my book of Q-ratings.
 see I feel the same way, but God me and play by the rules.  Now I feel bad.



Sorry Janet, you know how crazy I am about you. 
8  
#23 | 1484 days ago

 
 
  how can you possibly have a roast and follow the coc? this is not a REAL roast... so anyway.
 
Janet, says she's dated an ex-athlete, yeah right. only one? pfft, She's had sex with more New York Yankees than ARod. She's hit the five hole more times on Lundquist than Sid the Kid. She's on Wilt Chamberlain's Christmas card list. Twice. 
 
And she calls herself a fan of the NY teams? She doesn't even know when they are playing or whose pitching or anything. Well at least she contributes in one way, by adding one sack to Osi Umenyiora's total every week. 
 
Apparently she can sing. Well I've heard her sing, And yes she has a killer voice. She killed two dogs and a parakeet with her voice. dayooo, I'll be here all week. Her singing voice sounds like Richard Simmons exercising after downing a six pack of red bulls.  I heard she lost out on singing the national anthem at the Knicks game once, she got beat out by Rosanne Barr.
 
And whats with only having two photos? Whats the matter you can't find any more photos of that hot chick again? Come on, we all know you're 250 lbs and look like the female version of Danny DeVito. I mean here's a girl who eats Pop Tarts for dinner. 
 
But one thing about Janet, she does love dogs. She grooms them and some she even dates on the internet. Speaking of the internet, why does she spend so much time on the Q? I have the answer. Cos she has NO life. Every week she wins the contribution award. What is she contributing really though? Haven't we heard enough of her self loathing? I mean gosh even Dennis Rodman has a little more self respect than her.
 
And what about the gays? oh yeah she loves them alright. And they love her too. NOT. She planned a big BBQ for them and only ten of them showed up. And only half of them were REALLY gay. The other half were there because they heard she was easy. Anyway, I guess the gays had something better to do that Saturday then cram into a small condo in the slums just to listen to some uggo chick sing Grease songs. 
 
I could go on all day about this, as she's an easier target than Tiger Woods at this point. But I digress. Let me conclude by saying, while I tease her, I know she is a GREAT kid. Very FUNNY. and of course, PRETTY, awesome. And she goes VERY well with Stoney :) Wish you the best.
 
ps. Quit eating donuts like they're good for you.
#24 | 1484 days ago

I dont think was into babies back then, heck I think Wilt's been dead longer than she's been alive
#25 | 1484 days ago

jswol54 wrote:
Janet does seem to be quite the flirt.  She left hummus and Jim Bob Cooter thinking they had a chance. 
 i know what dumbasses those two were, haha
#26 | 1484 days ago
cubsgirl2 (+)

kteacher wrote:
Like the first poster, I don't really have "roast" material. Janet is one of the nicest people on this site (to me anyways). She is very outspoken, will debate an issue like no other (in fact there are many who intentionally post certain things just to get a reaction from her..lol), occasionally calls members "cute" little endearments, and suggest helpful verbs for others to perform on themselves-----------------all of which makes her tops in my book of Q-ratings.
 Question, so does that mean you wont be able to roast anyone you like?   (you see where I am going with this right)    
8  
#27 | 1484 days ago

Ahhh and then there are the Golden Girls.. .What girl in her early to mid 20s doesn't romanticize about living the freewheling devil may care life of 4 (I think there were 4) sassy geriatrics being abandoned by their families in a life purgatory community? Being a burden on society, and each week keeping the audience captivated and praying Sophia would one day be found wedged between the toilet and bathtub, no one around to help since everyone had their earplugs in to keep from hearing Blanche take it doggystyle on the lenai.  And on top of that, she identifies with the one with the adam's apple and penis.. That's J.. her love of horrible TV can only be rivaled by her love of food, sleep, and her knee pads (because a lady shouldn't expose her bruises when she wears a dress)
8  
#28 | 1484 days ago

And I'd like to take this opportunity to thank hummus as the only other person willing to join in the roasting
8  
#29 | 1484 days ago

MOTHER ALWAYS SAID IF YOU CANT SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT SOMEONE THEN TALK ABOUT THEM LIKE A DOG,SO I WILL SAY JANET IS OK WITH ME AFTER ALL SHE DID PICK ME TO CAPTAIN THE SHIP,AND ONLY STONEY KNOWS FOR SURE
#30 | 1484 days ago

The_Real_Stoney wrote:
And I'd like to take this opportunity to thank hummus as the only other person willing to join in the roasting
 :) 
#31 | 1484 days ago

The_Real_Stoney wrote:
And I'd like to take this opportunity to thank hummus as the only other person willing to join in the roasting
Hey, I'm in it
#32 | 1484 days ago
cubsgirl2 (+)

The_Real_Stoney wrote:
And I'd like to take this opportunity to thank hummus as the only other person willing to join in the roasting
 I roasted!!  Ok so I said sorry but I still did it. 
8  
#33 | 1484 days ago

The_Real_Stoney wrote:
And I'd like to take this opportunity to thank hummus as the only other person willing to join in the roasting
Hey, I threw a pebble.
42  
#34 | 1484 days ago

Oddfool wrote:
Hey, I threw a pebble.
 true, i saw that. but everyone else is coming up lame, haha. 
#35 | 1484 days ago

(Edited by Oddfool)
hummus wrote:
 true, i saw that. but everyone else is coming up lame, haha. 
I applaud your roast, sir.   That hearkens back to the days of the Dean Martin Roasts.   Most excellent.

   
42  
#36 | 1484 days ago

Oh God...let me tell you about thiiiis bitch....First, she works REALLY hard to appear all Gangsta's Paradise but I know for a fact that she is indeed softer than room temperature butter.  Then this mofo is always walking around pretending she is white AND straight...which of course, she is neither. Now you know. uh huh. Chick actually hates animals, LOVES Michael Vick, is a  bible-thumping conservative, closeted Philadelphia Eagles fan, stalks Taylor Swift and Nicholas Cage, and contrary to popular belief she cybers with Rogers after she makes him dress up in drag. Why all of the lies you ask? Simple, homegirl is a respect wh*re. Put a pretty smile (i'll tell you whose pic that really is some other time) with a kick ass attitude, and a bunch of typed words defending animals or  "the gays" and people give it up quicker than Isabella from Cathouse. That is all......for now.

87  
#37 | 1484 days ago

cubsgirl2 wrote:
 Question, so does that mean you wont be able to roast anyone you like?   (you see where I am going with this right)    
Not really......just means I'm not skilled in the art of roasting. Too many years of building up the esteem of youngsters has done this to me.
13  
#38 | 1484 days ago

hummus wrote:
 true, i saw that. but everyone else is coming up lame, haha. 
Suck it.


I can't help it.
13  
#39 | 1484 days ago

it's terrible! she has beautiful eyes and her hair smells like cinnamon!
#40 | 1484 days ago

She is from New Jersey and likes the Yankees, I mean what else is there to say...
53  
#41 | 1484 days ago

ms_hippie_queen wrote:
it's terrible! she has beautiful eyes and her hair smells like cinnamon!
her hair smells like the hudson river. she bathes in it
#42 | 1484 days ago

kteacher wrote:
Suck it.


I can't help it.
never had a teacher tell me to suck it before :o
#43 | 1484 days ago

hummus wrote:
never had a teacher tell me to suck it before :o
13  
#44 | 1484 days ago

I heard she was getting her middle name changed to STFU!!!! thats our girl!!!!!   i think Big Blue is better though!!!!!!!( love ya girl!!!!)
#45 | 1484 days ago

The_Real_Stoney wrote:
Ahhh and then there are the Golden Girls.. .What girl in her early to mid 20s doesn't romanticize about living the freewheling devil may care life of 4 (I think there were 4) sassy geriatrics being abandoned by their families in a life purgatory community? Being a burden on society, and each week keeping the audience captivated and praying Sophia would one day be found wedged between the toilet and bathtub, no one around to help since everyone had their earplugs in to keep from hearing Blanche take it doggystyle on the lenai.  And on top of that, she identifies with the one with the adam's apple and penis.. That's J.. her love of horrible TV can only be rivaled by her love of food, sleep, and her knee pads (because a lady shouldn't expose her bruises when she wears a dress)
87  
#46 | 1484 days ago


Get 'em while the gettin's good, bitches.  
#47 | 1484 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
Oh God...let me tell you about thiiiis bitch....First, she works REALLY hard to appear all Gangsta's Paradise but I know for a fact that she is indeed softer than room temperature butter.  Then this mofo is always walking around pretending she is white AND straight...which of course, she is neither. Now you know. uh huh. Chick actually hates animals, LOVES Michael Vick, is a  bible-thumping conservative, closeted Philadelphia Eagles fan, stalks Taylor Swift and Nicholas Cage, and contrary to popular belief she cybers with Rogers after she makes him dress up in drag. Why all of the lies you ask? Simple, homegirl is a respect wh*re. Put a pretty smile (i'll tell you whose pic that really is some other time) with a kick ass attitude, and a bunch of typed words defending animals or  "the gays" and people give it up quicker than Isabella from Cathouse. That is all......for now.

whose pic is it?
#48 | 1484 days ago

Beaneaters wrote:
She is from New Jersey and likes the Yankees, I mean what else is there to say...
STEEEEEEE-RIKE TWOOOOOOOOO
69  
#49 | 1484 days ago

J - Is For Janet
J - Is For Jai..Hey, Where's Jai
This Roast Sucks If Jai Doesn't Find This Poll!
311  
#50 | 1483 days ago

She steals her material from of all shows "The Golden Girls", update here, name change there and most of her blah blah are conversations between 4 women: Blanche, Rose, Dorothy, & Sophia....


(geesh I suck at this...she makes me laugh so hard, I have learned not to drink while reading her comments)
It is true about her stealing material though, just go read some quotes from the show...you'll see
#51 | 1483 days ago
cubsgirl2 (+)

janet011685 wrote:

Get 'em while the gettin's good, bitches.  
 wow, can we get a real zipper like that for you? 
8  
#52 | 1483 days ago

alainpeartree wrote:
whose pic is it?
janet's
87  
#53 | 1483 days ago
cubsgirl2 (+)

kobe_lova wrote:
Oh God...let me tell you about thiiiis bitch....First, she works REALLY hard to appear all Gangsta's Paradise but I know for a fact that she is indeed softer than room temperature butter.  Then this mofo is always walking around pretending she is white AND straight...which of course, she is neither. Now you know. uh huh. Chick actually hates animals, LOVES Michael Vick, is a  bible-thumping conservative, closeted Philadelphia Eagles fan, stalks Taylor Swift and Nicholas Cage, and contrary to popular belief she cybers with Rogers after she makes him dress up in drag. Why all of the lies you ask? Simple, homegirl is a respect wh*re. Put a pretty smile (i'll tell you whose pic that really is some other time) with a kick ass attitude, and a bunch of typed words defending animals or  "the gays" and people give it up quicker than Isabella from Cathouse. That is all......for now.

 I think he looks like a  *#@%*@  up vulcan. 
8  
#54 | 1483 days ago

alainpeartree wrote:
whose pic is it?
That's me
#55 | 1483 days ago

(Edited by coyotedances)
janet janet janet one of my fav q'ers

is hard to insult because she is not bright enough to notice.

sarcasm is just one service she offers.

she sometimes acts like the aliens forgot to remove her anal probe.

is always quick to remind the guys that a hard-on doesn't count as personal growth, but size matters.

she started out with nothing & still has most of it left.

her three favorite things are a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery.

you have a lot of well-wishers, but they would all like to throw you down one every once in awhile.
 
who loves ya baby?
#56 | 1483 days ago

coyotedances wrote:
janet janet janet one of my fav q'ers

is hard to insult because she is not bright enough to notice.

sarcasm is just one service she offers.

she sometimes acts like the aliens forgot to remove her anal probe.

is always quick to remind the guys that a hard-on doesn't count as personal growth, but size matters.

she started out with nothing & still has most of it left.

her three favorite things are a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery.

you have a lot of well-wishers, but they would all like to throw you down one every once in awhile.
 
who loves ya baby?
I thought in Janet's case it would be like this:







Or maybe...  more like this one:


42  
#57 | 1483 days ago

Oddfool wrote:
I thought in Janet's case it would be like this:







Or maybe...  more like this one:


love the bullseyes . . . 2 funny
#58 | 1482 days ago

I almost forgot to include Janet's kitchen knife holder...

42  
#59 | 1482 days ago

In a roast, you gotta say things that are funny, hateful, sarcastic, biting, smart, politically incorrect, sleazy, slimy, scathing and a bit truthful about that person...
So here is my Roast to Janet:

She is #1 in each of these categories and many more...

and it was a semi Pro athlete...they don't count!
1  
#60 | 1482 days ago

DeeRigga wrote:
In a roast, you gotta say things that are funny, hateful, sarcastic, biting, smart, politically incorrect, sleazy, slimy, scathing and a bit truthful about that person...
So here is my Roast to Janet:

She is #1 in each of these categories and many more...

and it was a semi Pro athlete...they don't count!
hey I was a semi Pro athlete....it counts
#61 | 1482 days ago
18packabs (+)

Janet is the MAN
#62 | 1481 days ago

 Janet of the Q, what is there to say?  She's a smartass, she disrespects everyone equally, she doesn't play favorites (I take that back, yes she does)...basically she's the real-life equivalent of this woman:

69  

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