Skip to Next Poll »
11
Joke of the Day -- 08/02/2010 (sub for Som)
  Joke of the Day -- 08/02/2010 (sub for Som) Photo












| Closed on 09/02/10 at 11:45PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room, Entertainment | Numeric Input Opinion Poll
9 Fans
Question
60.8891. Joke of the Day -- 08/02/2010 (sub for Som)

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#1 | 1354 days ago

My Good Ol' Dog

On a hot summer day, a country bumpkin came into town with his dog. He tied the dog under the shade of a tree and went into the bar for a cold beer.


About 20 minutes later a policeman came into the bar and asked who owned the dog tied under the tree. The bumpkin said that it was his. The policeman said, "Your dog seems to be in heat."

The bumpkin replies, "No way dog's in heat...she's cool kawse I got 'er tied unner the shade tree."

The policeman says, 'No! You don't understand your dog needs to be bred.'

"No way,' the bumpkin says, 'dog don't need bread, she ain't hongry, kawse I fed 'ER beef jerky this mornin'."

Now the policeman gets mad and yells out; 'NO! You don't seem to understand, your dog wants to have sex!'

The redneck looks at him with a long pause and says,

"Go 'head. I always wanted a police dog."

  
17 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 1354 days ago

My Good Ol' Dog

On a hot summer day, a country bumpkin came into town with his dog. He tied the dog under the shade of a tree and went into the bar for a cold beer.


About 20 minutes later a policeman came into the bar and asked who owned the dog tied under the tree. The bumpkin said that it was his. The policeman said, "Your dog seems to be in heat."

The bumpkin replies, "No way dog's in heat...she's cool kawse I got 'er tied unner the shade tree."

The policeman says, 'No! You don't understand your dog needs to be bred.'

"No way,' the bumpkin says, 'dog don't need bread, she ain't hongry, kawse I fed 'ER beef jerky this mornin'."

Now the policeman gets mad and yells out; 'NO! You don't seem to understand, your dog wants to have sex!'

The redneck looks at him with a long pause and says,

"Go 'head. I always wanted a police dog."

#2 | 1354 days ago

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
11  
#3 | 1354 days ago

 
#4 | 1354 days ago

#5 | 1354 days ago


A police pulled a man over and said "sir did you know that you are going 20 miles over the speed limit?" and the man answers, "No officer i did not." and his wife says, "yes you did I've been telling you that for the last 20 minutes." and the man yells "Shut up!" and the officer says, "Well did you know that your liscense plate is expired?" and the man answers "no officer i did not."

And the wife says "yes you did I've been telling you for three months to get it updated!" and the husband yells "Be Quite! or i'll tape it shut!" and the officer says "ma'm does he always talk to you like this?" and the wife answers "no only when he's drinking."
311  
#6 | 1354 days ago

On a sunny Sunday afternoon, two young church members were going door to door to invite people to visit their services. When they knocked on one door, it was immediately clear the woman who answered was not happy to see them.

She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message, and before they could say anything more, she slammed the door in their faces.

To her surprise, however, the door did not close; in fact, it bounced back open. She tried again, really putting her back into it, and slammed it again with the same result - the door bounced back open.

Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in her door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson. Just then, one of them said quietly: "Ma'am, before you do that again, you really need to move your cat."
311  
#7 | 1354 days ago

A family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong.

"Nothing," said the woman.

Not buying it, he asked again. "Seriously, what's wrong?"

"Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's Day, you don't even tell me so much as 'thank you.'"

"Why should I?" he said. "Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father's Day gift."

"That's true" she said.

"But I'm there real mother"
 

52  
#8 | 1354 days ago

Dream_Machine wrote:

A police pulled a man over and said "sir did you know that you are going 20 miles over the speed limit?" and the man answers, "No officer i did not." and his wife says, "yes you did I've been telling you that for the last 20 minutes." and the man yells "Shut up!" and the officer says, "Well did you know that your liscense plate is expired?" and the man answers "no officer i did not."

And the wife says "yes you did I've been telling you for three months to get it updated!" and the husband yells "Be Quite! or i'll tape it shut!" and the officer says "ma'm does he always talk to you like this?" and the wife answers "no only when he's drinking."
That's got to be grounds for divorce
69  
#9 | 1354 days ago

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
311  
#10 | 1354 days ago

#11 | 1354 days ago

#12 | 1353 days ago

SickPuppy wrote:
That's got to be grounds for divorce
i heard this one yesterday i said grounds for the insanity plea for murder! 
#13 | 1353 days ago

A guy and his blonde girl friend were driving in the car..and the boyfriend sys" hun roll down the window and tell me if the blinker is working?"...... the girl sticks her head oout and says..." yes.....no....yes....no...yes   no....."
#14 | 1353 days ago

Onegoodredhead2 wrote:
A guy and his blonde girl friend were driving in the car..and the boyfriend sys" hun roll down the window and tell me if the blinker is working?"...... the girl sticks her head oout and says..." yes.....no....yes....no...yes   no....."
Not this day --- August 3rd     then you'll see how you became a red head
69  
#15 | 1353 days ago

Onegoodredhead2 wrote:
A guy and his blonde girl friend were driving in the car..and the boyfriend sys" hun roll down the window and tell me if the blinker is working?"...... the girl sticks her head oout and says..." yes.....no....yes....no...yes   no....."
today is aug 3rd yes?
#16 | 1353 days ago

Onegoodredhead2 wrote:
today is aug 3rd yes?
Yes --- today is Aug 3rd .... this poll is AUGUST 2nd     sure you're not blonde   LOL
69  
#17 | 1353 days ago

SickPuppy wrote:
Yes --- today is Aug 3rd .... this poll is AUGUST 2nd     sure you're not blonde   LOL
lol..... maybe i do get really light auburn hair in summer!! i clicked on the first joke of the day that came up..lol you would think it was the most recent!

Post a Comment   Already a user? Sign in here
Join FanIQ - It's Free
FanIQ is the ultimate free community for sports fans.
Talk sports with fans from all over - 1,649,417+ Comments
Track your game picks - 38,670,182,382+ Sports Predictions
Prove you know sports - 116,275+ Trivia Questions
Find fans of your teams - 11,453,110+ New Friends
Whatchya Gonna Do?
Asked by rockysnappyduke | Locker Room, Entertainment | 1 questions asked 04/24/12
23 opinions | 28 comments | Last by KSbengals99
What's on the itinerary?
Asked by rockysnappyduke | Locker Room, Entertainment | 6 questions asked 07/01/13
132 opinions | 14 comments | Last by KSbengals99
Emile Presents **Thong Of The Year**
Asked by demiled | Locker Room, Entertainment | 1 questions asked 05/27/12
36 opinions | 43 comments | Last by KSbengals99
F/E 4/16
Asked by kobe_lova | Locker Room | 1 questions asked Yesterday
5 opinions | 20 comments | Last by JenX63
Pack your Bags!
Asked by Cali_Kat | Locker Room | 1 questions asked Yesterday
6 opinions | 13 comments | Last by JenX63