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Joke of the Day -- 09/13/2010 (sub for Som) (Edited 09/13/10 07:38AM by SickPuppy)

A group of blondes walked into a bar chanting "51 days! 51 days!" They ordered a bottle of champagne and sat at a big table.

Later more blondes came in and they joined in chanting "51 days! 51 days!"

The bartender asked: "Why are you chanting 51 days?"

They said, "Well, the ten of us put this puzzle together and the box says 2-4 years, but we managed to do it in 51 days!"

| Closed on 10/13/10 at 11:45PM
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78.8331. Joke of the Day -- 09/13/2010 (sub for Som)

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#3 | 1313 days ago

  
16 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 1313 days ago

Very nice John
#2 | 1313 days ago
cubsgirl2 (+)

 Why did the blonde get fired from the m & m factory?

She kept throwing away the w"s


8  
#3 | 1313 days ago

#4 | 1313 days ago

cubsgirl2 wrote:
 Why did the blonde get fired from the m & m factory?

She kept throwing away the w"s


hee hee hee ---- a few years back, I was helping my brother in law put siding on his house --- I was on the opposite side with a couple of my brothers.  We kept yelling to him that we had to throw out nails because the heads were on the wrong end 
#5 | 1313 days ago
cubsgirl2 (+)

SickPuppy wrote:
hee hee hee ---- a few years back, I was helping my brother in law put siding on his house --- I was on the opposite side with a couple of my brothers.  We kept yelling to him that we had to throw out nails because the heads were on the wrong end 
 Well most mens are!
8  
#6 | 1313 days ago

cubsgirl2 wrote:
 Well most mens are!
Nah --- you're just looking at the wrong side ... then again ... I do know several that would fit that description and there are several that have their head up their  .... well, you know what I mean
#7 | 1313 days ago

Bubba & Leroy saw an ad for a mule in the Starkville Daily News Newspaper in  Starkville , MS . And they proceeded to buy the mule for $100.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day...

The next morning the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night."


Bubba & Leroy replied, "Well, then just give us our money back."


The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already.."

They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule."


The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?


 

Bubba said, "We gonna raffle him off."

The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"


Leroy said, "We shore can!  Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"

A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Bubba &Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly  grocery store and asked.
"What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"
They said,"We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do."

 
 
 
 
 

Leroy said,"Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998."

The farmer said,"My Lord, didn't anyone complain?"

 
 
 

Bubba said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."

 
 
 

 

 
 

Bubba and Leroy now work for the government.

#8 | 1313 days ago

Two nuts walk in a bar,one was assaulted.

#9 | 1313 days ago

I like Blonde M&Ms.
#10 | 1313 days ago
cubsgirl2 (+)

SickPuppy wrote:
Nah --- you're just looking at the wrong side ... then again ... I do know several that would fit that description and there are several that have their head up their  .... well, you know what I mean
 Well I was saying most men think with the wrong one. 
8  
#11 | 1313 days ago

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

(Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
(So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels:A, E. I,O,U..

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
(That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
(OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight
(brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
52  
#12 | 1313 days ago

 YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM
11  
#13 | 1313 days ago

cubsgirl2 wrote:
 Well I was saying most men think with the wrong one. 
NOW THAT -- I can agree with ... some men exclusively think with that one
#14 | 1313 days ago
ssusiej46 (+)

SickPuppy wrote:
NOW THAT -- I can agree with ... some men exclusively think with that one
#15 | 1312 days ago

cubsgirl2 wrote:
 Well I was saying most men think with the wrong one. 
OMG --- the sky is falling ... the earth is coming to an end --- I agreed with Glenda   AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH   how can that be?
#16 | 1312 days ago
cubsgirl2 (+)

SickPuppy wrote:
NOW THAT -- I can agree with ... some men exclusively think with that one
 Yep, and women just want it for enjoyment. 
8  

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