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18
Open Letter
I love this website that allows users to post open letter to whomever they choose, and sign them from whomever they choose.  Sound confusing?  Maybe.  But here are some examples so you get the idea:

Dear Justin Bieber,
Don't worry, one day we'll both be real boys.
Signed, Pinocchio
 
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry about that global warming thing.  Karma's a bitch.
Signed, The Titanic

Get the idea?  Good.  Go.

(I'm not giving the website intentionally.  I want original, clever material, not stolen ideas from the site.)
| Closed on 01/15/11 at 08:00PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room, Entertainment | Multiple Choice Opinion Poll
43 Fans 
44%a. Awesome! Let's go...
7%b. Lame. Not playing
23%c. Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.
26%d. Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#1 | 1290 days ago

Dear Texters,

I hate to sound easy, but please use me.  

Sincerely,
Proper grammar and spelling
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
  
73 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 1290 days ago

Dear Texters,

I hate to sound easy, but please use me.  

Sincerely,
Proper grammar and spelling
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#2 | 1290 days ago

Dear Rae Carruth,
You did it wrong.
Signed, OJ
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#3 | 1290 days ago

Dear Katy Perry,
Put those things away, eww.
Signed, Bert and Ernie
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#4 | 1290 days ago

Dear JSmall,

I don't appreciate the f**king competition.

Yours truly,
The Village Idiot
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#5 | 1290 days ago

Dear Emo Kids,

Please stop taking self pictures in your bathroom.  Also, MySpace is so over.

Love,
Everyone but Emo kids.
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#6 | 1290 days ago

Crap, had to buy more Respect AGAIN for this poll.  Ugh.
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#7 | 1290 days ago

 Dear Janet,

Stop giving out so easily.

Signed,

Your allotted respects.
#8 | 1290 days ago

Dear Rupaul,
I was confused by your text, how often should I shave my balls again?
Signed Lady Gaga
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#9 | 1290 days ago

Dear Whatsyourface,

It has really been, ummm, I enjoy when we... hmmm... the only reason I was...

Your truly,

My Short Term Memory
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#10 | 1290 days ago

Dear Barry Bonds,
Can I borrow your hat?
Signed, Rocky Dennis
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#11 | 1290 days ago

Dear Jersey Shore Creator,

Go jump off a bridge,

Sincerely,
America
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#12 | 1290 days ago

Dear mom,
I know you said abstinence makes the heart grow fonder, but you were talking about the queers and democrats right? I mean, you can't get pregnant if you only do it 17 times, right?
heart you, Bristol xoxo
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#13 | 1290 days ago

Dear Braylon Edwards,

I approve.

Love,
Donte Stallworth
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#14 | 1290 days ago

Dear Bing,

Enough with the stupid commercials.  People are NEVER going to say, "I dunno, let's Bing it and find out.".

Sincerely,
Google
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#15 | 1290 days ago

Dear Lindsay Lohan,

You're a terrible influence on today's teens.

Sincerely,

Paris
#16 | 1290 days ago

Dear Christopher Reeve,
What's the opposite of you? Me.. Suck it
Signed, Christopher Walken
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#17 | 1290 days ago

To whore from last night naked young lady in my bed,
You're welcome for the herpes, the valtrex is on the dresser
Yours truly,
Derek Jeter
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#18 | 1290 days ago

Dear Buddha,

I bet you can't do it like me.

Signed,
Jesus Christ
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#19 | 1290 days ago

The_Real_Stoney wrote:
Dear Christopher Reeve,
What's the opposite of you? Me.. Suck it
Signed, Christopher Walken
We're getting into THAT territory, eh?  OK...

Dear adlnw;qiehne,

sln paein289 a39n2ljdi 

Signed,
w3nks ail2lwe (Ray Charles)
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#20 | 1290 days ago

Dear Isiah Thomas,

You are without a doubt, the worst GM in the history of professional sports.

Yours Truly,

Matt Millen
#21 | 1290 days ago

(Edited by Joe_L)
Dear Chris Collingsworth
STFU!!
Signed, me
Approved by NFL fans everywhere
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#22 | 1290 days ago
cubsgirl2 (+)

 Dear old person driver,

Get the hell off the road.

Signed, the speed limit.
Awesome! Let's go...  
#23 | 1290 days ago

OK, now I get it...
Dear Kim Kardashian,
   Why are you famous anyway? All you've ever done was run around and spend your family's money and act like a star (which you certainly aren't).  I mean the best thing you've ever "stared in" was a cheesey Sex Tape that just shows how big a skank you are. YOU DISGUST ME!!  

                                                                                                    Your's truly, 
                                                                                                 Paris Hilton
P.S. Call me!
Awesome! Let's go...  
#24 | 1290 days ago

janet011685 wrote:
Crap, had to buy more Respect AGAIN for this poll.  Ugh.
I do that everyday and have to do it right now
#25 | 1290 days ago


Dear Little Fingers,

Noses are our territory!

Sincerely,
Tissues aka A Teacher's Best Friend
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#26 | 1290 days ago

Ben,
Stay strong.. And I know the feeling.. Their mouth says no, but deep down they mean yes

Kobe
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#27 | 1290 days ago

Dear The Yard,

Sorry about the Sausage-Fest.  I'll stop.

Sincerely,
My Milkshake
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#28 | 1290 days ago

Dear Toronto Maple Leafs, 
I really love you, but everyone  makes fun of you.  it would be great if you could not suck.  that's all i ask,
Sincerly, 
   every Leafs fan  
#29 | 1290 days ago

Dear Rexy, Revis, and the rest of you hot air bags...

Until you win the big one - shut the heck up!

Signed,
NFL Fans World Wide
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#30 | 1290 days ago

Bill,
   I swear that I did not have sexual relations with Monica either.

Chandler
Awesome! Let's go...  
#31 | 1290 days ago

Dear Taylor Lautner,
Marry me, please. 
Tianna
#32 | 1290 days ago
cubsgirl2 (+)

 Dear Harry,

Growing old with you sucks. I am leaving you. Good bye.

Signed, Sally



Awesome! Let's go...  
#33 | 1290 days ago
(+)

Dear Brittney,
   Enough with the Lip-Syncing already!
                                     
                                        Signed, 

                                        Milli-Vanilli
#34 | 1290 days ago
cubsgirl2 (+)

 Dear Mark, 


Maybe I should have used your brand.

Signed, Sammy
Awesome! Let's go...  
#35 | 1290 days ago
18packabs (+)

Dear Refrigerator

Sorry all you see is cans and bottles

Signed thirsty Fat, Bald, Ugly Guy.
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#36 | 1290 days ago

Dear FanIQ members,

Thanks for the exposure!

Signed,

The asterisk
Awesome! Let's go...  
#37 | 1290 days ago

Dear Red Sox fans

Enough with the crying, your team spends just like the Yankees!

Signed

All other MLB fans
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#38 | 1290 days ago

 Dear Cubs, Maple Leafs, and Fans,

Maybe Next Year....

Commissioner's Trophy and Stanley Cup


Awesome! Let's go...  
#39 | 1290 days ago

Hey Buffalo,

     you're not winning a Super Bowl.

                                                        Your pal, The Browns
#40 | 1290 days ago

 Hey Janet,

No Fair Copying.  We Smell Class Action Lawsuit.

The Clones.
Awesome! Let's go...  
#41 | 1290 days ago

(Edited by icfeet)
Dear Chad:

I've got better numbers than you. Carson is MY quarterback (sniff sniff)

Signed, T.O.
Awesome! Let's go...  
#42 | 1290 days ago

Dear Cincinnati Reds,

We told you to wake us up before the game.

Signed,
Your bats
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#43 | 1290 days ago

Dear Diary,
They have all laughed at me for the LAST time.
Oh they'll pay... dearly.

XOXO,  [kissy face] [teddy bears]
Nyce
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#44 | 1290 days ago

Dear Angelina,

You may have gotten the man and 17 babies, but guess what? You now have the man and 17 babies. HAHA bitch!

Jen

Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#45 | 1290 days ago
cubsgirl2 (+)

Dear Daughters,


Grow up and get out.


Signed, your mom's pocketbook. 
Awesome! Let's go...  
#46 | 1289 days ago

janet011685 wrote:
Dear Cincinnati Reds,

We told you to wake us up before the game.

Signed,
Your bats
 That's awesome. Big Roy shut em down!
Awesome! Let's go...  
#47 | 1289 days ago

Dear Twins,

Just give up now.  You can't win.

Signed, The Yankees
Awesome! Let's go...  
#48 | 1289 days ago

kobe_lova wrote:
Dear Buddha,

I bet you can't do it like me.

Signed,
Jesus Christ
Dear Jesus.

I don't need to.

Signed.
Buddha
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#49 | 1289 days ago

Dear Tim Tebow,

We miss you!

From,

Gator Nation
Awesome! Let's go...  
#50 | 1289 days ago

Dear God,
 Please let the Buffalo Bills go 0-16 this year not 1-15 and ruin somebody Else's play off chance

Signed a true Bills Fan

PS, they haven't even showed up to the first 4 games
Awesome! Let's go...  
#51 | 1289 days ago

Dear Lady GaGa,
STOP! Been there, done that.
Signed,
Madonna
Awesome! Let's go...  
#52 | 1287 days ago
huskerfan_ia (+)

Joe_L wrote:
Dear Chris Collingsworth
STFU!!
Signed, me
Approved by NFL fans everywhere
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#53 | 1287 days ago

Dear Brett,

When you come to play the Jets on Monday, DON'T send me any pictures.

Signed, Jets Massage Therapist
Awesome! Let's go...  
#54 | 1287 days ago

Dear Penguins fans,

Every hockey game ever played is not about how whatever team compares to the Penguins.

Signed,

Every non-Penguin fan everywhere
Awesome! Let's go...  
#55 | 1287 days ago

Dear ESPN,

Please get this straight. There are 43 drivers on the track and not every one of them is named Jimmie Johnson.

Signed,

Fans of every driver except Jimmie Johnson
Awesome! Let's go...  
#56 | 1287 days ago

Damn, I love this poll.....

Dear underage drinkers,

You DO need to provide ID to purchase liquor. Telling me you forgot it in the car/house/backpack/other coat, etc is not going to convince me you are of age and can buy alcohol today.

Signed,
Liquor store associate who could lose her job for serving you alcohol without proper ID.
Awesome! Let's go...  
#57 | 1287 days ago

Dear Mets Fans,

Your Team sucks.

Signed, Yankees Fans
Awesome! Let's go...  
#58 | 1287 days ago

Dear Toronto Maple Leafs,
Would you like to know what you and the Titanic have in common?  You both look good until you hit ice.  
        Signed, 
                   Montreal Canadiens fan
#59 | 1286 days ago

(Edited by richard_cranium)
Dear Arizona Cardinals fans

The band wagon is broke down, time to jump off!

Signed 

Those of us, in AZ, that didn't suddenly become Cardinal fans 3 years ago!
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#60 | 1286 days ago
18packabs (+)

Dear Randy Moss,


Stop trying to take over the Title of Team Obliterator, that sh*t is MINE.


Signed Terrell Owens
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#61 | 1286 days ago

Dear Adam Lambert       Did your watch stop?-Your 15 minutes of fame was up alooong time ago!!   Signed  America's Hurtin' Ears
#62 | 1286 days ago

Dear Mr Snider We have won Championships, throwing money at the problem won't solve it, please sell asap



Sincerely Redskins fans everywhere....

Awesome! Let's go...  
#63 | 1284 days ago

janet011685 wrote:
Dear Bing,

Enough with the stupid commercials.  People are NEVER going to say, "I dunno, let's Bing it and find out.".

Sincerely,
Google
Nyce actually does say that...and this is your best poll yet, i think.
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#64 | 1284 days ago

rockysnappyduke wrote:
Bill,
   I swear that I did not have sexual relations with Monica either.

Chandler
i just got this. ha.
Dear Other, Back off, biznatch! Signed, Beans  
#65 | 1284 days ago
John_Daly (+)

(Edited by John_Daly)
kobe_lova wrote:
Dear Jersey Shore Creator,

Go jump off a bridge,

Sincerely,
America

Blasphemer!!!!


 

#66 | 1201 days ago

Dear Lindsay Lohan

Stop trying to make people forget about me, nobody can do it better than I did!!

Sincerely,
River Phoenix
#67 | 1201 days ago

Dear Brett Favre
glad to have you on board
... love, Medicare
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#68 | 1201 days ago

WISAC1 wrote:
Dear Brett Favre
glad to have you on board
... love, Medicare
Hehe.


(I'm so glad this poll will never die.  )
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#69 | 1201 days ago

 Dear Potential NFL Coaches

You will not be getting the jobs in Minnesota and Dallas!

Signed 
Frazier and Garrett
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#70 | 1201 days ago

 Dear Atlanta Falcons Players

The Gatorade dump is overplayed and lame, however doing it to the owner is funny! Thanks!

Signed
Me
Dear Janet, Stop trying. Signed, ALL of us.  
#71 | 1201 days ago

Dear Gary Kubiak,
     You suck as a head coach.
                            signed,
                       Wade Phillips
P.S. We're gonna make an awesome team.
Awesome! Let's go...  
#72 | 1201 days ago
cubsgirl2 (+)

 Dear Faniq,

I missed everyone

signed 

cubsgirl
Awesome! Let's go...  
#73 | 1197 days ago

Dear Heroes,

Please come back, at least in syndication or something so Dick_Head can update his Avatar.

Thank you,

A onceuponatimeHaydenPantierrefanwhohasnointentionofeverbeingafanagain
Awesome! Let's go...  

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