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Joke of the Day -- 11/05/10 (sub for Som)

A Blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

He tells her, "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day,
and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."

When the Blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"

The Blonde nods and answers, "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean?" asks the doctor.

"No", replied the Blonde, "From skipping".

| Closed on 11/08/10 at 08:00AM
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40.6921. Joke of the Day -- 11/05/10 (sub for Som)

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#3 | 1419 days ago

Beware next Easter the bunny doesnt want you to steal his choccies!  hahahaha
  
21 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First | Red = You Disagreed
Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 1419 days ago

52  
#2 | 1419 days ago

Good one John, I laughed out loud
52  
#3 | 1419 days ago

Beware next Easter the bunny doesnt want you to steal his choccies!  hahahaha
#4 | 1419 days ago

JenX63 wrote:
It's a male -- there's no doubt what he's going to do -- sniff her goodnight
69  
#5 | 1419 days ago

SickPuppy wrote:
It's a male -- there's no doubt what he's going to do -- sniff her goodnight
 hush now, you made me snort...LMAO
52  
#6 | 1419 days ago

  He Said To Me!


 

He said to me . ... . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it
I said to him .... . . You wear underwear don't you?
 
 


He said to me ... . ......... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said . That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but
fart 

   
He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him . .....
Turn sideways and look in the mirror! 

He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him .. . They don't have time.
 


He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. .. I don't know; it has never happened.
 

He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.
 

He said....What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said. . . A widow.
 

He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him .. . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.


Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. 

 

 


 

 


 

 

#7 | 1419 days ago

JenX63 wrote:
 hush now, you made me snort...LMAO
OMG --- that would make him a    ...                    HUSH PUPPY     
69  
#8 | 1419 days ago
Nick__ (+)

(Edited by Nick__)
Little Johnny sitting on Santas lap and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose and says "I bet your name is (spells out ) J-O-H-N-N-Y?"

The little boys eyes light up and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose again and says " I bet you want a (spelled out ) B-I-K-E ?"

Little Johnnys eyes light up and he asks "How'd you know that ?"

Santa replied "Because I'm Santa I know everything".

Little Johnny gets a funny look in his eye and says "I bet you like (spells out ) G-I-R-L-S ?"

Santa says "Yes, how'd you know that ?" The boy says " Beacause your finger smells like P U _ _ Y !"

100  
#9 | 1419 days ago

Hijacked from Allen: "He said to me ... . ......... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said . That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but
fart",

I am not sure why, but this really got me going 
 

   
52  
#10 | 1419 days ago

SickPuppy wrote:
OMG --- that would make him a    ...                    HUSH PUPPY     
Now there's an oxymoron for you......
52  
#11 | 1419 days ago

The Texas State Police are cracking down on speeders heading into Dallas .
For the first offense, they give you 2 Dallas Cowboy tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
11  
#12 | 1419 days ago

It's been while but I finally have one to add...
     A bear walks into a judges chamber. He says to the judge, "Pardon me Your Honor, I know you're busy but I really need a job. Can you help me?" The man was shocked to see a talking bear. The judge replied, "I don't know son, have you thought about joining the circus?"  Then the bear says, "Why would the circus need a Court Reporter?"
#13 | 1419 days ago

JenX63 wrote:
Hijacked from Allen: "He said to me ... . ......... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said . That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but
fart",

I am not sure why, but this really got me going 
 

   
do you mean that it got you to start farting? 
69  
#14 | 1419 days ago

JenX63 wrote:
Now there's an oxymoron for you......
Doy da doy doy doy    I'm sthmart 
69  
#15 | 1419 days ago

wulp -- you're a gonna have to keep on waiting
69  
#16 | 1419 days ago

SickPuppy wrote:
do you mean that it got you to start farting? 
ummm nooooo, it got me to giggling
52  
#17 | 1418 days ago
ssusiej46 (+)

(Edited by ssusiej46)
SickPuppy wrote:
Doy da doy doy doy    I'm sthmart 
#18 | 1418 days ago

JenX63 wrote:
ummm nooooo, it got me to giggling
giggle farts?     
69  
#19 | 1418 days ago

SickPuppy wrote:
giggle farts?     
oh my goodness, nope.....
52  
#20 | 1418 days ago
ssusiej46 (+)

SickPuppy wrote:
do you mean that it got you to start farting? 
lmao that is what they call soul mates
#21 | 1417 days ago

SickPuppy wrote:
giggle farts?     
Dude, that made me laugh out loud....

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