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4
The injury list (Edited 02/25/11 06:57PM by SusanVette)
 Inside the parentheses, they put the reason — real or made up — why a certain player will have to watch the game while in street clothes instead of earning their big check. What would you tell them to list as your "injury?"
| Closed on 04/25/11 at 05:00PM
FanIQ Pts? No | Locker Room, Personal | Multiple Choice Opinion Poll
23 Fans 
13%a. (blue balls)
0%b. (the sniffles)
0%c. (allergies)
0%d. (bow-legged)
13%e. (pregnant)
9%f. (STD)
0%g. (chicken pox)
17%h. (broken nail)
0%i. (a sliver)
48%j. other

 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#3 | 1295 days ago

 My (blue balls) often cause (the sniffles) and are caused by my (allergies).  Although the reason I won't be coming in is because I am (bow-legged) I might have caused someone to get (pregnant) or I just gave her a (STD) or maybe she is kinda young they will also be checking for (chicken pox) I am waiting on her to call now. She has a (broken nail). Right now I am drinking from (a sliver) Flask Vodka of course. If you need (other) excuses because I have called in sick so much. I am calling in dead now because I have run out of excuses.

Signed

The player side lined in street clothes! 
other  
  
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#1 | 1295 days ago

(pregnant)  
#2 | 1295 days ago

  • Sammy Sosa sneezed twice while bending over in the Cubs' clubhouse, sending his back into spasms and putting himself out of the lineup.
  • Denny McLain went to bed in perfect health and woke up with four dislocated toes.
  • Chris Hanson took a swing with an axe at a chunk of wood. He missed and drove the axe deep into this left leg. He was rushed to the ER and placed on injured reserve for the rest of the season. Amazingly, Hanson is still the Jags punter to this day.
Bret Barberie was making nachos with all the fixins, including chili peppers and hot sauce, but he neglected to wash his hands after touching the spicy ingredients. When he went to put in his contact lenses, he felt a severe burning sensation. He missed the next game

  all true stories http://thefuntimesguide.com/2006/12/amazing_sports_injuries.php
#3 | 1295 days ago

 My (blue balls) often cause (the sniffles) and are caused by my (allergies).  Although the reason I won't be coming in is because I am (bow-legged) I might have caused someone to get (pregnant) or I just gave her a (STD) or maybe she is kinda young they will also be checking for (chicken pox) I am waiting on her to call now. She has a (broken nail). Right now I am drinking from (a sliver) Flask Vodka of course. If you need (other) excuses because I have called in sick so much. I am calling in dead now because I have run out of excuses.

Signed

The player side lined in street clothes! 
other  
#4 | 1295 days ago

 I'd been in street clothes caused by accidental "over drinking" and would be placed on the HFD list (Hungover from Drinking)
#5 | 1295 days ago

I got nothing but this....it was a MIRACLE that he was able to return(just minutes later).

#6 | 1295 days ago
Sharp Square (sid) profile photo



Blue Balls and Dislocated Collar Bone -  Slipped on the coke mirror and fell while attempting to bang the two strippers in the bathroom stall at the club last night !

(blue balls)  
#7 | 1295 days ago
Sharp Square (sid) profile photo

(Edited by Sharp Square)
jswol54 wrote:
I got nothing but this....it was a MIRACLE that he was able to return(just minutes later).



He has faked more injuries then women have orgasm's trying to make himself look like a "hero" !  what an as$clown
(blue balls)  
#8 | 1295 days ago
cubsgirl2 (+)

 Alfonso Sorriano  will not play the next three weeks due to a finger in jury (broken nail) he sustained while trying to catch a fly ball with his glove shut. 
(broken nail)  
#9 | 1295 days ago

cubsgirl2 wrote:
 Alfonso Sorriano  will not play the next three weeks due to a finger in jury (broken nail) he sustained while trying to catch a fly ball with his glove shut. 
Hehe, almost as bad as Sammy Sosa missing time because of a "sneezing incident." 
#10 | 1295 days ago

(just wanted my paycheck on a meaningless game)
other  
#11 | 1295 days ago

I'm a rough-and-tumble gal ... I play through the pain.  And I don't even get paid.
Buncha pansies.  
#12 | 1295 days ago

janet011685 wrote:
I'm a rough-and-tumble gal ... I play through the pain.  And I don't even get paid.
Buncha pansies.  
I'm the same way. I've broken every one of my fingers at least once playing softball and whenever it happens I just pretend like nothing happened. Just like everyone else in the league.
other  
#13 | 1295 days ago

Lobotomy Jones wrote:
I'm the same way. I've broken every one of my fingers at least once playing softball and whenever it happens I just pretend like nothing happened. Just like everyone else in the league.
  Scrappy players rock.  

Last summer, I popped my knee out of joint in EVERY game for the last month of our season or so and wouldn't even scale down to DH.  
#14 | 1295 days ago

janet011685 wrote:
I'm a rough-and-tumble gal ... I play through the pain.  And I don't even get paid.
Buncha pansies.  
thats what she said
#15 | 1295 days ago

janet011685 wrote:
I'm a rough-and-tumble gal ... I play through the pain.  And I don't even get paid.
Buncha pansies.  
You and me both. i have performed ice skating with a broken toe, and a neck brace on for whiplash. I also broke my finger playing kickball. But did I whine or stop playing? H*LL NO!   oh, and heel spurs, but I walk 3-8 miles a day! Wussies!
#16 | 1295 days ago

mrtriplesix wrote:
thats what she said
 
#17 | 1295 days ago
Nick__ (+)

(Edited by Nick__)
I remember Michael Jordan playing in game 5 of the NBA championship against Utah after having the flu!  

MUST READ THIS ARTICLE!!!  

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/espn25/story?page=moments/79

"Jordan remembers waking up in the middle of the night, sweating profusely, shaking, and feeling as if he was going to die. "I was scared; I didn't know what was happening to me," Michael Jordan would say. 

At first, he thought it was a nightmare. Then he realized it was real, that he was seriously ill. "I felt partially paralyzed," he would later say.

When he lifted himself up from his bed in his Utah hotel room, his head began spinning. He'd never been so nauseated before. He feared that somehow, some way, someone had slipped some kind of drug in something he ate.

It was the middle of the night in Salt Lake City, an off day between Games 4 and 5. The series was tied, 2-2, following Utah's second consecutive win, but how in the world could Jordan play in this condition in Game 5?

Jordan called the Bulls' medical personnel, which came rushing to his room. They determined that he was suffering from food poisoning or an intestinal stomach virus. "There's no way you'll be able to play Game 5," Jordan was told.

Jordan remains in bed for the next 24 hours, missing the Bulls' morning practices the day before and the day of Game 5. He had lost several pounds. He was dehydrated. Then, at 3 p.m., just three hours before tip-off, Jordan rose from his hotel bed and dragged himself to the Delta Center.

THE MOMENT
It's 4:30 p.m. when Scottie Pippen sees Jordan emerge from a side door of the Delta Center. "The way he looked, there's no way I thought he could even put on his uniform," Pippen would say. "I'd never seen him like that. He looked bad -- I mean really bad."

Jordan sequesters himself in a dark room adjacent to the Bulls' locker room. He slowly lies his weak body down. He closes his eyes. He visualizes himself running, shooting, passing, rebounding, dunking. Soon, he emerges from the room, staggering slowly. He puts on his uniform and walks out to the court, weak and pale. "I can play," he tells coach Phil Jackson. "I'll let you know how I'm feeling as the game goes on."

As the game begins, Jordan drags himself up and down the court, running at only 65 percent of his normal speed. He is so dehydrated and fatigued that he is sure he is going to pass out any second. Halfway through the quarter, during a pause in the game, Jordan bends over to rest, pulls on his shorts, closes his eyes and nearly falls over. He has no energy whatsoever.

Later in the first quarter, during a timeout, Jordan slumps into a seat on the Bulls' bench, his arms dangling, his shoulders sagging. "He could hardly sit up," Chicago center Luc Longley would say.

Jordan
MJ could barely make it off the court after his 38-point performance.

He is essentially useless in the first quarter, but in the second quarter, after Utah takes a 16-point lead, something happens to Jordan physically, emotionally and mentally. He begins running harder, running faster and making shots. Somehow, miraculously, he begins looking like the typically dominant Michael Jordan. He scores 17 points in the quarter. "It was all about desire," he would tell the media. "Somehow I found the energy to stay strong."

At halftime, Jordan is fed fluids and given cold towels. In the third quarter, fatigue and nausea return, dragging him down again, rendering him virtually useless. But early in the fourth quarter, when the Jazz go up, 77-69, Jordan somehow turns it on again, leading a 10-0 run that puts Chicago back on top with five minutes left.

He starts the Bulls' burst with a 12-footer, then Toni Kukoc and Jordan both drill 3-pointers to tie the score at 77. MJ caps the run by putting the Bulls on top, 79-77, with an 18-footer over Bryon Russell. Jordan had 33 points at that stage, a staggering total for someone so ill and weak.

"In the third quarter, I felt like I couldn't catch my wind and get my energy level up," Jordan would say later. "I don't know how I got through the fourth quarter. I was just trying to gut myself through it."

Clearly exhausted, clearly weak, Jordan looks for Pippen posting up Jeff Hornacek. MJ also looks for three-point specialist Steve Kerr, wide open in the corner. Jordan, his arms hanging like a piece of rope, makes a weak fake to Kerr, but then quickly fires a pass to Pippen. Russell quickly moves to double Pippen, 5 for 17 in the game, leaving Jordan open on the perimeter. Pippen quickly fires the ball back to Jordan. The clock shows 0:26. With Stockton's hand right in his face, Jordan launches a shot from beyond the three-point line. The ball hits nothing but string. Bulls, 88-85. His 15th point of the quarter and his 38th of the night. "We never want to double off Michael Jordan in that situation," Utah coach Jerry Sloan would say later.

Utah pushes the ball upcourt, and Stockton breaks down the defense and feeds Greg Ostertag for a dunk, making it 88-87 with 15.2 seconds left. The Bulls quickly inbound the ball and work the ball upcourt to Kukoc, who feeds Longley for a dunk and a 90-87 lead with 6.2 seconds remaining. One possession remains. Utah works the ball around and as the clock hits 0:01, Hornacek heaves a 3-pointer & and misses.

Jordan, who plays 23 of 24 minutes in the first half and 21 of 24 minutes in the second, doubles over, collapsing from emotion and exhaustion.

"That was probably the most difficult thing I've ever done," he would say after the game. "I almost played myself into passing out just to win a basketball game. If we had lost, I would have been devastated." Jackson was almost at a loss for words, but finally told the media, "Because of the circumstances, with this being a critical game in the Finals, I'd have to say this is the greatest game I've seen Michael play. Just standing up was nauseating for him and caused him dizzy spells. This was a heroic effort, one to add to the collection of efforts that make up his legend."

After MJ's epic performance, Pippen would say, "He's the greatest, and everyone saw why tonight." 

 

(pregnant)  
#18 | 1295 days ago
Nick__ (+)

(Edited by Nick__)
DOUBLE POST!  Sonuva!
(pregnant)  
#19 | 1295 days ago

i don't get injured. i  rub dirt  on the ouchy and get back in there.    there'd be a lot less missed games if the "injured" player would admit to being a p*ssy  and take midol and be done with it.  WIMPS
other  
#20 | 1295 days ago

Yeah, i'm pregnant, that should do it.
(pregnant)  
#21 | 1294 days ago

janet011685 wrote:
  Scrappy players rock.  

Last summer, I popped my knee out of joint in EVERY game for the last month of our season or so and wouldn't even scale down to DH.  
 I'll ask it knowing that everyone else on here is probably equally curious...how do you pop your knee out so frequently while riding the pine?
other  
#22 | 1294 days ago

 (hang nail)
other  
#23 | 1248 days ago

I see pink elephanets dancing in tutus ! - got moonshine & I'm feelin fine!<3 !
other  
#24 | 1247 days ago

INJURY FOR WHO?
other  
#25 | 1246 days ago

HAVE to say broken nail...feet have nails, ya know....
(broken nail)  

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